Dear oh dear, I'm in a mess. Please help

Umm I'm in quite a situation with 3 girls at the moment. I'll try to explain it girl by girl so you'll can read it through and then give me some much-needed advice!

Girl 1: Girl 1 is a girl I dated for 2 years and who broke up with me a couple of years ago because she thought we were incompatible. We had a good relationship but a very messy breakup and things were bad between us for a year after, with accusations thrown about by both of us. We've recently got in touch again and she seems very friendly(she has just been dumped by her boyfriend). I don't want to ever get back with her and can't even think about dating her again but when I talk to her, I sometimes think of old times though those thoughts quickly go away. I want to tell her to stop messaging me but am afraid of hurting her feelings since she's probably turning to me as a friend since her boyfriend dumped her.

Girl 2: Girl 2 is a girl at university. It's only been 2 months at university. The problem was, when I got to university, I thought I must have a girlfriend(yeah stupid I know). I looked at this girl once and thought 'oh yeah, she seems nice' and decided to get to know her better. However, during one drunken night out, I ended up telling a bunch of people that I 'like' this girl and so now a lot of people know. However, after getting to know her better, she really isn't my type and we would be incompatible together. She's a good friend, but really can't be more than that.

Girl 3: This girl is a friend of Girl No.2 and one of the people I told about my feelings for Girl No.2. She is also a really good friend of mine and we connect very well. We have similar interests, values, she's pretty and smart. However, she was trying to help me get with Girl No.2 and also was in a relationship..till a couple of days ago. Even while she was trying to get me with her friend(after I asked her for help), she used to say things like 'I think you're going to stop liking her and probably like someone else soon' and 'You're really a hardcore romantic and such a decent guy'. We go to play tennis regularly and when she broke up, she made it a point to tell me she was breaking up with her boyfriend.

So, yeah, what do I do? :P

Reply 1

huckingfell

Thanks. Don't you think girl 3 was giving me a couple of hints?

Reply 2

Im-no-supergirl

Don't go back to girl number 1 because it might potentially end up even more messy than before.
Be friends with girl number 2 and make sure her and everyone else knows that the two of you are JUST friends.
See how it goes with girl 3 don't rush into it spend more time with her and see what happens...

BUT that's just logical advice what you need to do is think which girl you have most feelings for...It might still be girl 1 so think to yourself who would you be happiest with? Maybe spend time with them abit more and follow your heart.

Reply 3

the bear

i would ask them all to a meeting and have a democratic binding vote on which is going to be your girlfriend

Reply 4

sajipvarghese

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2199614&highlight=3+sexual+partners

Is this you? :hmmmm:

...or maybe not :tongue:

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 5

huckingfell

Original post by sajipvarghese

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2199614&highlight=3+sexual+partners

Is this you? :hmmmm:

...or maybe not :tongue:

Haha. No

Reply 6

Studentus-anonymous

You don't want a relationship with the first two, what's the problem?

Pursue girl number 3, happy days.

Anyone else?

Original post by Studentus-anonymous

You don't want a relationship with the first two, what's the problem?

Pursue girl number 3, happy days.

Haha yeah but it's a bit of a tricky situation between girl 2 and girl 3 as I've explained. I'm pretty sure Girl 3 likes me though, I guess I just have to be there for her now when she needs me most and see what happens.

Reply 9

chris300

Original post by Studentus-anonymous

You don't want a relationship with the first two, what's the problem?

Pursue girl number 3, happy days.

Yeah, how are you in a mess?
Stop replying to girl 1, just don't pursue anything with girl 2 and tell girl 3 you like her.

Reply 10

huckingfell

Original post by chris300

Yeah, how are you in a mess?
Stop replying to girl 1, just don't pursue anything with girl 2 and tell girl 3 you like her.

So soon after she's broken up? Girl 2 knows I was interested in her and she's a good friend of Girl 3. Though, I have sort of cooled things off with girl 2 off-late

Reply 11

chris300

Explain to Girl 3 this situation about girl 2, that you see her more as a friend, she'll get the word out, trust me.

Tell Girl 3 that you like her but say you know she just broke up with her ex etc. You might ruin your friendship but otherwise you run the risk of her finding someone else *shrug*. If it's at uni, relationships are pretty fickle.

Reply 12

alexs2602

With girl 3, she told you when she broke up with her boyfriend. She also told you she thought you'd move on from girl 2. Seems pretty obvious the first thing you should do is mention to girl 3 that she was right. Now, even if it doesn't lead somewhere that's somewhere to start. She will know you're not hung up on girl 2 and may get interested in someone else. If she is interested in you(note: if, she could be but she might not be) then if she wants to show that she won't feel bad about screwing girl 2 over at all. It's a start but that's all I've got so far.

Reply 13

Tizz

I think when you're with Girl 3, you should subtly mention that you only see Girl 2 as a friend and say you were drunk at the time? Don't say why exactly you stopped liking her...as they are still friends and she may be very protective.

Reply 14

huckingfell

Original post by alexs2602

Thanks. I will probably do that but perhaps after a day or two. She's just broken up and it's not fair to talk about myself in front of her when I should be there for her right?

Reply 15

alexs2602

Original post by huckingfell

Thanks. I will probably do that but perhaps after a day or two. She's just broken up and it's not fair to talk about myself in front of her when I should be there for her right?

Wait until you think the moment is right. Think about it, every person and break up is different, we can't really tell you when it'll be the right time, you'll probably know better than us. Day or two sounds reasonable though.