The Student Room Group

My mom has an eating disorder

My mom's been recently stressed out recently with divorce, her parents dieing etc., a new high powered job and in response she's basically stopped eating. I'll be lucky if I can get her to eat one small meal a day, sometimes she goes days without food. She's dropped about 2 stone in a month and is now smaller than me.

Apparently eating disorders for mature adults are on the rise, maybe she wants to look skinny like Sharon Stone, or Teri Hatcher to fit in at her job with all her younger collegues.

What can I do to make her eat? Is there anything that I can do or say before seekin professional help? Thanks for any thoughts you have.
Reply 1
First I would actually make certain that it is an eating disorder- i.e. she is doing it with weight in mind. It is possible that she's just very busy with her new job and feeling a bit stressed out or rushed off her feet from it. :smile:

If you really believe she has one, then I'd suggest you talk to her quite generally first, about the job and how she feels, and see if she opens up to you. If you get nothing, then suggest the idea that you're a bit worried about her because you haven't seen her eating so much recently. She might completely quash any fears you might have, or she might open up to you. Just let her know you're there for her and gently encourage her to see a doctor.

I'm sorry you have to go through this, because it can be quite upsetting for people who care about the person too. One of my former friends quite clearly had an eating disorder, and eventually after antagonising after it for months we told our PHSE teacher, who is trained to deal with eating disorders, self harming and other problems. The school told her mother, and after a few conferences she seemed slightly better and started eating a bit more. Sadly this wasn't permanent, and she told her parents and the school she didn't have a problem and there's nothing else they can do.

I hope it all goes well for you and your mother. Good luck! :smile:
Reply 2
It may be grief if her parents just died. Try and get her to speak to a friend or somebody.

Hope she gets better :smile:
Reply 3
The problem is, you can't really 'do' anything. You can't force her to eat, that won't help.
Mainly, just support her, let her know how much you love her. There is a link [here] to help the family of someone with an Eating Disorder.

See if she may speak to her friends about this, if not, just maybe gently suggest that she goes to see a doctor about this. It doesn't have to be a whole 'OMFGGZZZBBQ!!!oneoenone11!1!!1!! Ur lyk totali not eeting, U freek!' type malarky, just support her and gently suggest that some professional help may be benifical?

You could try the [EDAUK] website (Eating Disorders Awarness UK), which is specifically designed for people with, suprisingly enough, eating disorders.

Darling, make sure you take care of you as well. Jo x
Reply 4
It's probably just her way of coping with grief and as soon as she feels happier she'll probably start eating again. Some people eat loads when they're unhappy, others hardly anything at all. If you're that worried, you could ask her to make an appointment with her GP. I'm sure it's not unusual my mum lost about a stone when she was really stressed out even though she was only like 8 and a half stone before!!!
Reply 5
Thanks for your replies! It's really scary when a parent has an eating disorder cause they're meant to be so responsible and all. If it continues I'll speak to someone but in the mean time I guess I can only make her food and ask her gently to see if she'll eat anything cause she always just makes excuses or hides the food in the bin thinking no one will notice. I agree it does hurt when someone close to you develops an eating disorder.