The Student Room Group

He's going too slow?

I realise the tradition is a guy wants more from a girl and pushes her to speed up the relationship but things are a little different. My boyfriend and I were friends to begin with. The kind of friends who do everything but the romantic stuff. Now we're together and we have little time til he leaves school. I kinda don't understand why he's so slow to move - we'll kiss goodnight at the end of the evening, but never more than that and it's usually really light and gentle. Nothing to say he wants more than that. I'm confused cos I wouldn't mind us moving on a bit from the innocent stuff. We're both old enough!

Any ideas as to how to change it? Why's he going so slowly?
Reply 1
Yer, stop being so incapable and move it on yourself?!

Stop complaing that he;s not doing anything when you clearly aint either.
it takes two to tango
prehaps he is thinking exactly the same and is being a gentleman by tryin not to rush you. either that or he is shy.
why not suprise him by grabbing him and kissing him passionaltly - you never know he might respond and hey presto
he goes slow? how slow?

make him run.
Reply 5
Does he really want a relationship with you? Maybe he just wants you as a friend and all that romantic/sexual stuff is a bit wierd for him.
Reply 6
Maybe he's nervous. I know I was when I was first with my girlfriend. I personally think that a relationship is more likely to last if you take things slow at the start and wait until you are both completely ready. That's what was the case with me and my girlfriend and we've been together for over four years now (I'm nearly 18). It would have been closer to five years but in a fit of immature nervousness I broke up with her for a month or two.

I don't think you should force him into anything that he's not going to feel comfortable doing. Not all guys are like the loud, brash, confident, sex-mad stereotypes that we're made out to be.

I think the best thing for you to do, if you're that worried about it, is to talk to him about it. Only he is going to be able to tell you about these things. If you're close enough to be wanting some naughty relations then you're close enough to talk about these things. If you don't feel that you can talk to him about it then perhaps you're moving a little bit fast and your relationship isn't quite at the right stage yet.

Out of interest, how old are you and roughly how long have you been with each other (as an item).
Ahhh if only all boys were such gentlemen eh? Most people are always complaining about their boyfriends pressuring them. Just take the lead, shove your tongue down his throat...he might be pleasantly surprised and say like 'why did you never do that before?!' and then everything will be dandy :smile:
Reply 8
I think you should speak to him and respect his wishes if that's the speed he wants to take it at. I know if the role's were reversed everyone would have a go at the guy for pressuring the girl and forcing her into things such as shoving one's tongue down someone's throat.
Reply 9
Jump him. Really. I'm sure he'll stop you if he doesn't want it.
shove ur hand down his trousers as u kiss him good nite! hell get the message!
make the first move! this isnt the 19th century. press yourself against him and give him a proper kiss. if he doesnt respond then hes a lost cause.
Reply 12
personally i would never make the first move like that, the way i figure is if a guy wants it, he'll take it. give out hints and let him know you want it but make him come and get it, that's always more fun and at least then you know he's doing it because he wants to and not just because it's being offered to him on a plate. mwah, good luck x
Talk to him, tell him how you're feeling!
Pull down your knickers down in front of him. Trust me he won't just stand there..... unless he's gay.
Reply 15
I didn't quite mean I wanted to have sex with him - just that I thought we might be past the stage of one chaste kiss at the end of the night
Reply 16
how old are you and how long have you been together?

are you guys still dating properly eg dinner/movies and stuff or are you just tending to hang out together? cos i mean if you are alone in his room , just take things to the next stage?
I got dumped by a girl I'd been going out for several months because I was taking things slowly... I was told "I thought we'd be closer by now" :rolleyes:

Can't you just take the initiative?