The Student Room Group

Feeling lonely/excluded

Hey guys, sorry for the depressing entry but I really need to let it out. Over the past nine or ten months, I've really felt myself drifting apart from a lot of my close friends, and nowadays, even though I'd refer to them as "friends," I only really feel that I have one or two who I can really confide in and be myself around.
I find that I have next to nothing in common with the rest of them anymore, I don't feel in a position to join in with their conversations, and I feel incredibly lonely most of the time.
The thought of going to uni and making a fresh start is what's keeping me going, but I even have my worries about that - I'm terrified that it'll be exactly the same as it is now, and I won't be able to make proper friends. I feel so down and I just don't feel like I can talk to anyone about it (even my best friend, because she's a very happy kind of person and I wouldn't want to depress her!)
I was wondering if anyone else feels like this, and how do you cope with it?
Reply 1
Everyone worries about going to univeristy and making friends there.

Thats what makes it so easy! everyone's in the same boat!
Reply 2
Reue
Everyone worries about going to univeristy and making friends there.

Thats what makes it so easy! everyone's in the same boat!

:ditto:
Reply 3
to OP: awwww...you need a hug :hugs:

well I went through somewhat the same thing as you are going through now. perhaps you should let your other friends know what you're feeling. or just confide to your best friend about what you're going through now. heck, if you both are best friends, she'll deffo try to help you out and make you less depress. I mean, what are friends for if you can't even tell them your problems. you need to cheer up and relax.

don't worry about uni. you'll be able to make new friends in no time. :wink:
I have a similar problem with feeling left out and lonely, but mine is because I go to a school in a different town, so I miss out on a lot of going round to peoples houses and seeing them outside of school etc. I also dont have any friends outside of school who live near by, but I am just holding on to the fact that at uni it will be different.
Dont worry University is the place for making friends. The best thing is that everyone lives near each other either in halls or houses. The only problem is how to get rid of people if you dont want to see them!! lol
Reply 6
:dito: your "friends" will be the ones you make during uni.
i think in uni things will be far better than school, u do whatever you want to do... trust me you'll make good friends
:smile:
lol sounds like how i feel... seriously wholly
Reply 8
u need a big hug and a caring partner!!! then ull b nice n happy

keep on fighting, its proberly just a phase which will work out in the end!
to the OP: i feel like i'm looking right in the mirror. i feel EXACTLY the same. very lonely at school, with "friends" who i don't even consider to be friends, just people i have to hang around with to pass the time. looking forward to university too, thats the only thing keeping me going at the moment. not long now, just hang on there. :smile: feel free to pm me if you wanna chat. :smile:
I went to uni in pretty much the same positions, nothings changed, I advice councelling and antidepressants, thats whats seems to be working for me anyway. Might be different for you, might not, you can't tell till you get there, just smile, do your best and see what happens. Good luck anyway.
Reply 11
To the OP: I know exactly how you feel though my best friend is not like yours though.:rolleyes: It does get me down quite a bit and I really hope that Uni will be different but I am scared about the socialising as I find that hard. Atm, I just cope by concentrating on what is important to me and what I can control like studying for a worked example:p: and what music I listen to etc for a more relaxing example.
Reply 12
Anonymous
I went to uni in pretty much the same positions, nothings changed, I advice councelling and antidepressants, thats whats seems to be working for me anyway. Might be different for you, might not, you can't tell till you get there, just smile, do your best and see what happens. Good luck anyway.


:hugs:
To the OP: i feel exaclty the same as you at my school - i don't have much in common with my friends anymore, and i feel like i can't even be part of their conversations, so i end up sitting away from them anf then they accuse me of attention seeking! i just can't win whichever way i act. Also i've overheard them b****ing about me behind my back, and one of them has even b****ed about me on TSR! feel free to pm me if you want - i know exactly how you feel and how utterly horrible it feels.
Yer I also feel like that. Surprising that there are so many people who do feel like that. Also thinking about the Uni thing but also what I'm doing is make the most of the few friends who I do feel are really close. You say you have a couple of friends where you can be yourself, just try and be content with the friends you do have. I know its hard because you feel too reliant on them but you've just got to think yourself lucky that you have those couple of friends there. Also if you try not to think about it too much its good because otherwise you'll find it hard to be yourself when your worrying about friends. I understand its easier said than done.
Reply 15
University is a great place to meet friends, i've had such an amazing time here and met without doubt some of the most amazing people i've ever met in my life. It's obviously not guarenteed that everyone's going to but I honestly believe that if you make the effort with people and go out of your way to be friendly (and open minded, even if someone doesn't seem like "your type" of person) then you'll have loads of friends, easily.

Try not to worry! x
At one point, I spent a week at home, everyone else had gone away. I didn't answer the phone or door all week. I didn't talk to a single person, and it wasn't till I started to enjoy that isolation that I got a bit worried. Thankfully, now, I'm over all that, and have the best girlfriend ever. Things will imrpove :biggrin:
Reply 17
silence is a scary sound
To the OP: i feel exaclty the same as you at my school - i don't have much in common with my friends anymore, and i feel like i can't even be part of their conversations, so i end up sitting away from them anf then they accuse me of attention seeking! i just can't win whichever way i act. Also i've overheard them b****ing about me behind my back, and one of them has even b****ed about me on TSR! feel free to pm me if you want - i know exactly how you feel and how utterly horrible it feels.


Exactly the same has happened here. :hugs:Yes, even to include the TSR bit!:mad: :frown:
Reply 18
My best friend's great but I hate most of the people at my college...:rolleyes: I used to be friends with one girl at high school but for the last two years at 6th form she had made it blatently obvious that I'm not "good enough" for her and hasn't bothered speaking to me even when I've sent her texts and stuff. Also another girl has acted the same because she's also part of their stupid happy clappy "oh aren't we cool because we go out every Friday and Saturday night and drives our own cars and get off with each other" crew. The funny thing is that someone crashed into the girl in question's car, which is quite amusing. :evil:

I really hope I do meet people who are a bit more like me at uni! I like having fun but it's just the immaturity of people at my college that annoys me. They seem so afraid of not following the herd and are just so shallow.