The Student Room Group

I can't help but feel I'm a consolation

Aaages ago, a friend introduced me to her male friend. We instantly got on really well, and after a few months of "harmless flirting" I guess I pretty much fell for him. The only thing which held me back was that he has a bit of a bad track record, with people saying he gets new girlfriends every week or so.

Eventually he asked me out, but I hesitated and in the end said no. He seemed slightly upset.. but he obviously soon got over this. And continued to go out with two of my friends, including my best friend. :smile:

It's almost two years later now, and I've started to rebuild things with him.. or rather pretty much have rebuilded things. He seems to have changed slightly, as he kept his last girlfriend for the past five months. In fact he just dumped her yesterday.. and told me all about it over MSN, but I'm not sure why he told me this..

Anyway, I still do have strong feelings towards him. I just feel that I'm just a conquest to him, as I was one of the few girls who said no to him. That, or I'm a consolation prize because my friends dumped him. Either way I really don't know where we are..
Reply 1
im not sure why you feel like that :confused:
if you like him and your sure he feels the same i don't see why
Reply 2
Um, because I think she's not sure if he likes her genuinely- the way he asked her out, and when she said no, instantly moved onto her friends one by one makes me a bit wary.
Reply 3
oh i see. wouldn't that make her friend the second choice if he went to them after
Reply 4
But I think I might be just like a conquest to him really. Not many girls say no to him, and I think he sees me as a challenge which has lasted 3 odd years.
How old is this bloke? Because if he is under, say, 28, then people change - if you like him, if your instinct tells you he's not as much of a player now, then give it a chance. (28 is a pretty random figure, but all I'm saying is that a man who behaves like that in his late 20s may be less likely to change than a teenager)
Reply 6
He's a teenager, and I do see your point. :smile:

But I wonder why he told me that he told me about him and his girlfriend? I asked him how he was, and he said to me that things weren't that good, because he had to dump his girlfriend. He stayed on MSN to me throughout the phone conversation and was telling me how she was crying and everything. I was sympathetic as a friend, but slightly puzzled as to why he told me. It's not been long since we weren't talking at all.
Reply 7
I meant I wonder why he told me about him and his girlfriend rather, sorry. :smile:
He might have been telling you in order to drop a big hint that he is about to be single. On the other hand, he might have been telling you because you were there and he needed someone to talk to. Why don't you hang out with him a bit more for a few weeks and see what happens? Tbh it might be better to wait until the dust has settled on his previous relationship before going out with him anyway.
Reply 9
Very true. If I was to do anything, it would have to be in a bit of time. I'm not even sure if I ever will do anything though, what with the situation with my best friend having gone out with him. She tells me she absolutely doesn't like him at all, and the relationship means nothing, and always jokes how me and him are going to get married.. (funnily enough he jokes with me about it too). I'm not sure though, it really is an unspoken rule that you can't date people your friends have dated.
Anonymous
Very true. If I was to do anything, it would have to be in a bit of time. I'm not even sure if I ever will do anything though, what with the situation with my best friend having gone out with him. She tells me she absolutely doesn't like him at all, and the relationship means nothing, and always jokes how me and him are going to get married.. (funnily enough he jokes with me about it too). I'm not sure though, it really is an unspoken rule that you can't date people your friends have dated.



There's obviously something there between you or you wouldn't even be posting here about it. I think it would be fine to go out with him - even if he did go out with your friend(s), it would only be weird if he hopped from one friend to another to another consecutively!
Yea i think you should go out with him but dont feel like your a consolation if you do. Take a bit of a risk, might turn out to be very worthwhile!
Reply 12
Thank you so much everyone! :smile:
Reply 13
Anonymous
He's a teenager, and I do see your point. :smile:

But I wonder why he told me that he told me about him and his girlfriend? I asked him how he was, and he said to me that things weren't that good, because he had to dump his girlfriend. He stayed on MSN to me throughout the phone conversation and was telling me how she was crying and everything. I was sympathetic as a friend, but slightly puzzled as to why he told me. It's not been long since we weren't talking at all.

Bad form!!