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REALLY lonely
i've always hung around with about 15 of my friends at school, but never actually considered them to be 'friends' as i didn't connect with any of them, since i started my new school 2 years ago.
its really really getting me down. i've started to isolate myself from the group now, i spend my lunchtimes in the library on the computer, or doing work, because i feel as though they purposely alienate me from the group.
theres been many times where i've felt so distant from this big group, and theres so many little separate cliques within this group that it is just impossible to let myself get involved, because nobody lets me in.
so i spoke to one of my friends about this on saturday night & she seemed a bit upset that i had felt that way. but ALL this week, no one has hardly spoken to me from my group, and so i purposely alienate myself even more.
is it impossible for me to say how i feel? i am so emotionally sick, i just feel like crying because i feel i have nobody at all. i'm going to uni this year & i honestly cannot wait. i have 3 weeks of school left but i still somewhat feel very lonely.
i know i won't be keeping in touch with anybody from school.
sorry, i just needed to let this out because i'm feeling very low.
its really really getting me down. i've started to isolate myself from the group now, i spend my lunchtimes in the library on the computer, or doing work, because i feel as though they purposely alienate me from the group.
theres been many times where i've felt so distant from this big group, and theres so many little separate cliques within this group that it is just impossible to let myself get involved, because nobody lets me in.
so i spoke to one of my friends about this on saturday night & she seemed a bit upset that i had felt that way. but ALL this week, no one has hardly spoken to me from my group, and so i purposely alienate myself even more.is it impossible for me to say how i feel? i am so emotionally sick, i just feel like crying because i feel i have nobody at all. i'm going to uni this year & i honestly cannot wait. i have 3 weeks of school left but i still somewhat feel very lonely.
i know i won't be keeping in touch with anybody from school.
sorry, i just needed to let this out because i'm feeling very low.
Reply 1
I'm really sorry that you feel this way, and want to let you know that you're NOT alone - I can totally empathise with a lot of what you said. I've really felt myself drifting from my friends over the past year and, like you, cannot wait until university to make a fresh start.
Look at it positively, if you can. You have three weeks left of school, which is next to nothing (working in the library at lunchtime just before the exams can only be an advantage, anyway!) If you don't regard these people as your true "friends," then seriously, don't waste time worrying about them. It's not like you're facing another three years of it - you're off to uni soon, and that means new people, new environment, and a new life.
In the meantime, concentrate on your studies and getting the grades you actually NEED to get to uni, and before you know it, you'll be there having the time of your life, and wondering how you ever let yourself get worked up about 15 people you don't care about and will never see again!
Hope you feel better hun. xxxxxxxx
Look at it positively, if you can. You have three weeks left of school, which is next to nothing (working in the library at lunchtime just before the exams can only be an advantage, anyway!) If you don't regard these people as your true "friends," then seriously, don't waste time worrying about them. It's not like you're facing another three years of it - you're off to uni soon, and that means new people, new environment, and a new life.
In the meantime, concentrate on your studies and getting the grades you actually NEED to get to uni, and before you know it, you'll be there having the time of your life, and wondering how you ever let yourself get worked up about 15 people you don't care about and will never see again!
Hope you feel better hun. xxxxxxxx
Reply 2
i felt a little similar to you in my last year of 6th form as 80% of my friends didnt even go 6th form and the other 20% left after the 1st year and the people who became the "clique" in my 6th form, i thought were ******s anyway and didnt talk to them. i spent alot of my freetime on computer doing work while evryone else was in the common room. But my motivation for sticking with it was the reward of going to uni and the ppl there are soooo different from the ppl in my 6th form and the funny thing is, is that none of the ppl who were in my 6th form are at uni. i recon they are all mummy's boys and were all too scared!
Reply 3
yep feeling pretty simmilar. Drifting apart from every1 at skool. It feels like i try to be nice to peeps n i seem just as alienated as b4. 2bh im nt bothered. Theres v few peeps from there id even consider keeping contact with. N like u my hope remains uni. A few peeps from my coll r going there bt i still dnt care too much cos im hoping i wont c them there. Ill have no regrets leaving my coll. Been there 15 years (ages) dnt get me wrong im glad i stayed there bt i dnt feel ne nostalgia (sp) 4 the place n want to move on.
Reply 4
Honey, I don't mean to sound rude, but like you are upset cos you feel left out so you alienate yourself more. that's so illogical, has it occured to you that maybe the reason noone spoke to you all week is cos you have been pushing them away so they thought you didn't want to spend time with them. You can't simultaneously push somebody away and at the same time get upset that they are becoming distant. You said your friend got upset when you told her how you feel, so obviously she cares about you and wanted you to feel included
sara
xxx
sara
xxx
Reply 5
OP -
This 'sarax' character seems to be giving you pretty good advice. You should make a really big effort to spend time with them if it's really getting you down this much. Or, alternatively, shut down all emotions temporarily until you get to uni so that it stops upsetting you. Just make sure you do SOMETHING because I honestly believe that lonliness is the worst feeling in the world and MUST BE OBLITERATED.
PS. Sarax - Apparently you tried to make a voodoo doll of your friend and then like sacrificed it as part of some weird cult rituel thing. Is that true?
This 'sarax' character seems to be giving you pretty good advice. You should make a really big effort to spend time with them if it's really getting you down this much. Or, alternatively, shut down all emotions temporarily until you get to uni so that it stops upsetting you. Just make sure you do SOMETHING because I honestly believe that lonliness is the worst feeling in the world and MUST BE OBLITERATED.
PS. Sarax - Apparently you tried to make a voodoo doll of your friend and then like sacrificed it as part of some weird cult rituel thing. Is that true?
Reply 6
15
explosionsinthesky
PS. Sarax - Apparently you tried to make a voodoo doll of your friend and then like sacrificed it as part of some weird cult rituel thing. Is that true?
^o)
Reply 7
explosionsinthesky
OP -
PS. Sarax - Apparently you tried to make a voodoo doll of your friend and then like sacrificed it as part of some weird cult rituel thing. Is that true?
PS. Sarax - Apparently you tried to make a voodoo doll of your friend and then like sacrificed it as part of some weird cult rituel thing. Is that true?
nope its not... that might have been my friend liz though...
where did you hear this?
sara
xxx
Reply 8
sarax
nope its not... that might have been my friend liz though...
where did you hear this?
sara
xxx
where did you hear this?
sara
xxx
Don't go off-topic. It's really annoying for everyone else. You'll get the thread closed.
Reply 9
explosionsinthesky
Don't go off-topic. It's really annoying for everyone else. You'll get the thread closed.
does anyone know this girl... is she loopy... sorry anonymous, I posted with refernce to your thread and she (randomly) brought up voodoo so i responded. I didn't mean to hijack it.
but what is wrong with you EITS???
sara
Reply 10
sarax
does anyone know this girl...
but what is wrong with you EITS???
sara
but what is wrong with you EITS???
sara
Shhh - I've told you about giong off topic!
OP, maybe you should try going out with them for a really fun night? Y'know, try to find something to bond over? I sometimes find that there's a turning point with friendships. Then again, if you don't like them that much maybe it's not worth the effort, you'll have to decide i suppose. Good luck anyway.
Reply 11
hey at the end of the day anon, uni's all about meeting new people, and it's not far now, so don't worry too much. There's a much more diverse range of people at university so you're more than likely to find some good mates you click with there
big smiles
sara
big smiles
sara
Reply 12
sarax
Honey, I don't mean to sound rude, but like you are upset cos you feel left out so you alienate yourself more. that's so illogical, has it occured to you that maybe the reason noone spoke to you all week is cos you have been pushing them away so they thought you didn't want to spend time with them. You can't simultaneously push somebody away and at the same time get upset that they are becoming distant. You said your friend got upset when you told her how you feel, so obviously she cares about you and wanted you to feel included
sara
xxx
sara
xxx
oh i have tried a lot, trust me. i have spent 2 years trying to form friendships with people, trying to fit in etc. but the more people pushed me away & the more they didn't let me in, the more i alienated myself.
its not like i haven't tried, i don't alienate myself on purpose - i do it because they make me feel upset & so i'd rather spend my lunchtime doing something productive rather than getting upset when i get home. this has been really tough for me, as i don't think i've ever felt so lonely, but its not merely because i spend my time alone.Reply 13
well ok, but did you see my second post about unis?
I think you should just relax a little ok? what uni are you going to?
you say people alienate you, but you also mentioned your friend seemed upset when you said you felt that way, just relax a little, don't try so hard ok?
and smile!!!
since nothing in life can be made to please everyone, all you have to do is be the best you can and those worthy of your friendship will love you and accept you. and since those who dont like you wont ever be satisified let them enjoy their own misery
I think you should just relax a little ok? what uni are you going to?
you say people alienate you, but you also mentioned your friend seemed upset when you said you felt that way, just relax a little, don't try so hard ok?
and smile!!!
since nothing in life can be made to please everyone, all you have to do is be the best you can and those worthy of your friendship will love you and accept you. and since those who dont like you wont ever be satisified let them enjoy their own misery
Reply 14
sarax
well ok, but did you see my second post about unis?
I think you should just relax a little ok? what uni are you going to?
you say people alienate you, but you also mentioned your friend seemed upset when you said you felt that way, just relax a little, don't try so hard ok?
and smile!!!
since nothing in life can be made to please everyone, all you have to do is be the best you can and those worthy of your friendship will love you and accept you. and since those who dont like you wont ever be satisified let them enjoy their own misery
I think you should just relax a little ok? what uni are you going to?
you say people alienate you, but you also mentioned your friend seemed upset when you said you felt that way, just relax a little, don't try so hard ok?
and smile!!!
since nothing in life can be made to please everyone, all you have to do is be the best you can and those worthy of your friendship will love you and accept you. and since those who dont like you wont ever be satisified let them enjoy their own misery
yeah i read it, ty it made me feel better.
i'm gonna be going to Warwick hopefully, grades permitting.
she did seem upset but then all this week, she hasn't spoken to me because of some of the things i may have said. they were only the truth, i was just being honest with her.
i know, keep smiling..
Reply 15
i think as most people have said, its not long till uni! everyone will be in the same boat, and you can make a fresh start. and its something to look forward to.
pm me if yas wanna say hi!
hold out and everything will be fine in the end!
pm me if yas wanna say hi
!hold out and everything will be fine in the end!
Reply 16
Anonymous
i've always hung around with about 15 of my friends at school, but never actually considered them to be 'friends' as i didn't connect with any of them, since i started my new school 2 years ago.
its really really getting me down. i've started to isolate myself from the group now, i spend my lunchtimes in the library on the computer, or doing work, because i feel as though they purposely alienate me from the group.
theres been many times where i've felt so distant from this big group, and theres so many little separate cliques within this group that it is just impossible to let myself get involved, because nobody lets me in. so i spoke to one of my friends about this on saturday night & she seemed a bit upset that i had felt that way. but ALL this week, no one has hardly spoken to me from my group, and so i purposely alienate myself even more.
is it impossible for me to say how i feel? i am so emotionally sick, i just feel like crying because i feel i have nobody at all. i'm going to uni this year & i honestly cannot wait. i have 3 weeks of school left but i still somewhat feel very lonely.
i know i won't be keeping in touch with anybody from school.
sorry, i just needed to let this out because i'm feeling very low.
its really really getting me down. i've started to isolate myself from the group now, i spend my lunchtimes in the library on the computer, or doing work, because i feel as though they purposely alienate me from the group.
theres been many times where i've felt so distant from this big group, and theres so many little separate cliques within this group that it is just impossible to let myself get involved, because nobody lets me in.
so i spoke to one of my friends about this on saturday night & she seemed a bit upset that i had felt that way. but ALL this week, no one has hardly spoken to me from my group, and so i purposely alienate myself even more.is it impossible for me to say how i feel? i am so emotionally sick, i just feel like crying because i feel i have nobody at all. i'm going to uni this year & i honestly cannot wait. i have 3 weeks of school left but i still somewhat feel very lonely.
i know i won't be keeping in touch with anybody from school.
sorry, i just needed to let this out because i'm feeling very low.
It might seem that they don't like you, that they're being insensitive but you have to realise that it's not necessarily all their fault. It can be hard to be within a group and still be inclusive of everyone. That's the whole drawback of groups. If someone doesn't seem to stick in, it can be hard to keep them in. Personally, I'm glad that I no longer have to deal with that kind of stuff.
Having seen the dynamics of groups that size, it rarely is about very close friendship and more about social image: people wanting to convey a certain image and within that group you'll find many people such as yourself who are more in the group because it's socially comfortable and they don't have to stand up for themselves: the group does that for them.
It's not healthy to stay in that kind of situation and indeed, you should see uni as an opportunity to make a fresh start, create a new you. Don't become delusional and think you can just transform yourself completely but you can definitely choose how you want people to perceive you. In your situation you have no control over that any longer. You probably need to learn to stand up for yourself and then you won't have to worry about groups or cliques or anything stupid like that.
Reply 17
sarax
does anyone know this girl... is she loopy... sorry anonymous, I posted with refernce to your thread and she (randomly) brought up voodoo so i responded. I didn't mean to hijack it.
but what is wrong with you EITS???
sara
but what is wrong with you EITS???
sara
okay FINE. Since people are making such a fuss...
Iman told me on the I.L.P forum. I'm ever so sorry if I offended you it's just that my cat died a few years ago and we suspect that it might have been a victim of a random voodoo attack so that kind of thing really gets on my nerves. HOWEVER, if you say you didn't, then I will believe you. To be honest Iman is a bit of a tw@ and he didn't really sound like he knew what he was talking about.
Sorry about that Anonymous 1. Back to the topic. You'll be ok, and well done for at least talking to your friend about that. That was brave and (at the risk of sound like a tw*t) I really respect that.
Reply 18
explosionsinthesky
okay FINE. Since people are making such a fuss...
Iman told me on the I.L.P forum. I'm ever so sorry if I offended you it's just that my cat died a few years ago and we suspect that it might have been a victim of a random voodoo attack so that kind of thing really gets on my nerves. HOWEVER, if you say you didn't, then I will believe you. To be honest Iman is a bit of a tw@ and he didn't really sound like he knew what he was talking about.
Sorry about that Anonymous 1. Back to the topic. You'll be ok, and well done for at least talking to your friend about that. That was brave and (at the risk of sound like a tw*t) I really respect that.
Iman told me on the I.L.P forum. I'm ever so sorry if I offended you it's just that my cat died a few years ago and we suspect that it might have been a victim of a random voodoo attack so that kind of thing really gets on my nerves. HOWEVER, if you say you didn't, then I will believe you. To be honest Iman is a bit of a tw@ and he didn't really sound like he knew what he was talking about.
Sorry about that Anonymous 1. Back to the topic. You'll be ok, and well done for at least talking to your friend about that. That was brave and (at the risk of sound like a tw*t) I really respect that.
erm has anyone ever read an iman post, he certainly doesn't know my name, he probably doesn't know what voodoo is, and he rarely makes any sense, but he does call people devils a lot? are you iman or something? I've certainly never brought up voodoo, maybe it was someone else ???
oh well
its not really important
sara
Reply 19
objectively it may ostensibly be an illogical move to alienate oneself some more but this response to that situation is human nature - i've seen it lots - that's just what happens - good luck at uni though
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