I have never had a boyfriend, or kissed anyone, or done anything like that at all. I've had crushes, sure, but usually on celebrities or teachers. I'm shy and not very confident, and it takes me a long time to make any friends (like months, even when we're in the same class). Still, I have a few close friends, including one guy, and have never really felt the need or desire for any romantic relationship. Once on a cruise I danced with a man and on deck he stood behind me with his hands on my stomach, but I didn't feel anyting special and when he got too "touchy" I left. Thats my experience, just about.
About a week ago I met a guy. We were in a big group of people but pretty soon we started hanging out and got along well. Big groups are slow, and so we'd end up walking a ways ahead of most people usually, just talking. I very seldom talk much to people I don't know well, I just don't know what to say. With this guy I had no such problems. We'd talk about everything and everything, more or less. After a few days I was even talking some about myself and my life, which I hardly ever do unless I really trust someone. He just seemed to understand what I meant, and I think I understood what he was saying. If this were all, then I wouldn't be posting this. Making a friend fast is unusual for me, but not totally unthinkable. But I don't think this was "only" a friendship.
Once when walking he took my hand. Once he said I was pretty (and I'm not- I'm not ugly, but far from good-looking). Once he kissed my cheek. We hugged a few times. Other people in the group tell me that he definatly liked me, and thats the impression I got too. But why would he like me? I made no effort with dressing nicely or putting on much make up besides concealer, I'm not attractive. I don't think I'm that fun to talk to either, or have a great personality, at least not at first, and week isn't very long. Is it possible that he really did like more or is it more plausible that there was some other reason why he spent so much time with me?
I knew him for a week. I have no illusions that I love him or anthing like that. I am just slightly... not exaclty scared, but unsure about the whole thing though. I felt like I was blushing whenever I looked him in the eye, or got too close to him. Normally I dont like people in my personal space, but once he stood pretty close to me and it didn't feel like an intrusion at all- it felt rather good, in fact. I liked hugging him, and don't know if I'd have broken them off so quickly if the other people hadn't been around. Is that all my hormones or something though? I did really like him as a person too, but I really like my guy friend too and when he's around my body doesnt start feeling strange. What was going on?? Is it normal?
I'm not really sure what the purpose of writing this whole (long) thing is. Just mostly feels good to get it out. If anyone else has been thorugh anything similar I'd love to hear!