Are dating websites worth it? Or is it me being a loser? (GIRLS answer please)

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 9 years ago
#1
I've been using a couple of dating websites for quite a while now (maybe around a year - not regularly, but everytime I had holidays I'd waste my evenings there for a week or so...)

So, being not ugly, rude or apparently-sex-obsessed, I've come to the following conclusion:

If I write to 100 girls looking from okay (3/5) to excellent (5/5):

--30% will look at my profile
--20% will read my message
--5-7% will answer to my message
--3-4% will answer to my answer to their answer
--1-2% will not stop responding after 10 messages
--1% might actually have an interesting conversation with me
--0% will want to meet

Is it me being such a loser, or are dating web-sites not worth it?

I never write something like "hey, you're hot" and never tell them "wow, you're a stunner!" - is that why? and what are girls expecting from these dating websites? Thanks
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Chr0n
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#2
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#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
...
Just imagine by how much your social skills would improve if you actually approached a hundred woman in real-life :P
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Anonymous #2
#3
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#3
I met my boyfriend on OkCupid and we've been together nearly a year now, so good things do happen. It does take some luck though- I'm female and bisexual so I got a lot of messages, a significant number of which were propositions for threesomes, comments on my attractiveness and other junk I would just never reply to in a million years. Then I had to filter out everyone who seemed boring, unintelligent or unattractive. So despite having a tonne of messages, I ended up properly having conversations with a handful of people and meeting up with four of them. The four I met up with all seemed nice, I have no horror stories- and the fourth was my boyfriend.

My boyfriend had a very different experience. He didn't get any messages, and only sent out a few himself. The only one that developed into a real conversation was me, we met up and that was it So for the both of us, it was very worth it, although neither of us were on it for very long- if you've got nothing after a year, mebbes it's not gonna work out.
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Mankytoes
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#4
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#4
Logic would suggest that all women on dating sites are keen to date men, so I can't believe it's as hard as people say. I'm assuming theres advice on the web on how to make your profile stand out. All I would suggest is focus on your more unique qualities.
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inmyhead
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#5
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#5
(Original post by Chr0n)
Just imagine by how much your social skills would improve if you actually approached a hundred woman in real-life :P
Just imagine how many restraining orders he would have...
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Anonymous #1
#6
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#6
(Original post by Mankytoes)
Logic would suggest that all women on dating sites are keen to date men, so I can't believe it's as hard as people say. I'm assuming theres advice on the web on how to make your profile stand out. All I would suggest is focus on your more unique qualities.
The words "logic" and "women" should not be used in the same sentence.
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gemmam
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
I've been using a couple of dating websites for quite a while now (maybe around a year - not regularly, but everytime I had holidays I'd waste my evenings there for a week or so...)

So, being not ugly, rude or apparently-sex-obsessed, I've come to the following conclusion:

If I write to 100 girls looking from okay (3/5) to excellent (5/5):

--30% will look at my profile
--20% will read my message
--5-7% will answer to my message
--3-4% will answer to my answer to their answer
--1-2% will not stop responding after 10 messages
--1% might actually have an interesting conversation with me
--0% will want to meet

Is it me being such a loser, or are dating web-sites not worth it?

I never write something like "hey, you're hot" and never tell them "wow, you're a stunner!" - is that why? and what are girls expecting from these dating websites? Thanks
What sort of things do you put in your messages? Also are you messaging girls in your area?

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Jelephant
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#8
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#8
The thing you have to remember is that it's probably not you- dating websites are a lot of hard work for women :p: I started an account out of curiosity, but without paying for it the website was pretty useless, so after about half an hour of setting it up and looking around I never logged in again. I have minimal information on my profile. I don't even have a profile picture. It states that I haven't logged in in months. Yet I still get dozens of email alerts every week since then telling me I have new messages... which of course I can't read because I need to buy a subscription first =P I'd have to devote half my life to the website if I answered every guy (and all his answers to my answers) that ever messaged me. Presuming any of the messages are more in depth than "Hey bbz" in the first place, of course.

Realistically, your only choice as a guy on these websites is to message as many girls as possible in the hope that some will reply to you, and in the process, increasing the problem of every girl getting too many messages to deal with. It's a vicious cycle :p:
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Anonymous #3
#9
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#9
I'm a girl that's been on a dating site for this year ..... still haven't met anyone

but from a girl perspective

- I DO read profiles and hate when a guy hasn't made that much effort with his.
- This includes firsts messages, I don't expect an essay but something to show that you've read my profile and that we have something in common maybe ?

I always do the same when I'm sending a message

I never reply back to people who just say HI
People who just pay a compliment " Your so hot" doesn't really do it for me.

BUt this is just me
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Kelly1987
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#10
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#10
I met my boyfriend on Plentyoffish. We've been together over 2 years now, and we're living together We lived about 25 miles apart / an hours drive. It was worth it for me
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Humbert Humbert
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#11
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#11
Around 101% of the women on dating sites are: Single mothers, illiterate care home/ nursery workers, lunatics, the genuinely hideous, obvious ****s and those there only for flattery.

You can quite easily get conversations with them by being complementary, asking them about something on their profile, and having attractive pictures on yours. This will never go anywhere however. Your time is wasted.
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Indo-Chinese Food
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#12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Then I had to filter out everyone who were boring, unintelligent or unattractive.
Are there really these filter options in online dating? Maybe ill give it a try one day
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member64211
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#13
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#13
You just have to realise most of the women on (free) dating sites aren't seriously looking for someone.
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NathanW18
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#14
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#14
The main issue is that there are way more guys on them than girls. You send her a message, but so did 10 other guys. She's not going to read all of those messages.

Then you also have the girls that aren't even on there to find anyone. They're just looking for a self esteem boost.

If you're a guy that isn't extremely attractive, you're probably wasting your time on them.
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Anonymous #2
#15
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#15
(Original post by Indo-Chinese Food)
Are there really these filter options in online dating? Maybe ill give it a try one day
If you're going to quote me, please don't screw up my grammar so badly
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tehFrance
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#16
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#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
Are dating websites worth it?
Yes, I was on JDate for a while and met a couple of women, slept with them too but in reality I would not date them (pictures were photoshopped or something as they were not as hot in reality). I actually continue to use JDate but to meet new people stateside so I have people I can meet when I go over there and not be alone. I am currently in a relationship thus dating is not on the cards but making friends is

But yes they are worth it but you need to take your best picture and use humour, humour is always a plus in profile
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CherryCherryBoomBoom
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#17
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#17
I used a dating site for a while but didn't have any luck on it either. I did actually answer every guy who messaged me, as I think it's nice to give people a chance. Had a few interesting conversations that didn't really lead to much. Did also manage to meet with one guy who seemed really cool, and the date went well, but afterwards online he stopped talking to me for some reason . I dunno what it is, but so many people on the internet seem to be ridiculously flaky, both men and women. It's probably not you, just them that's the problem.
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gemmam
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Jelephant)
The thing you have to remember is that it's probably not you- dating websites are a lot of hard work for women :p: I started an account out of curiosity, but without paying for it the website was pretty useless, so after about half an hour of setting it up and looking around I never logged in again. I have minimal information on my profile. I don't even have a profile picture. It states that I haven't logged in in months. Yet I still get dozens of email alerts every week since then telling me I have new messages... which of course I can't read because I need to buy a subscription first =P I'd have to devote half my life to the website if I answered every guy (and all his answers to my answers) that ever messaged me. Presuming any of the messages are more in depth than "Hey bbz" in the first place, of course.

Realistically, your only choice as a guy on these websites is to message as many girls as possible in the hope that some will reply to you, and in the process, increasing the problem of every girl getting too many messages to deal with. It's a vicious cycle :p:
Let me guess, is that match? I made a dummy account just to see if there were many people in my area on it as I was thinking of joining as I had bad luck on the free ones. I receive emails off them every day saying I've been "winked" at and added to favorites, my account has no picture and no details other than the very basic stuff like my age and town. Either its a scam or the men on that site are very desperate...

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gemmam
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#19
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#19
(Original post by CompactDestruction)
You just have to realise most of the women on (free) dating sites aren't seriously looking for someone.
Neither are the majority of men in my experience...

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sissoko46
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#20
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#20
(Original post by tehFrance)
Yes, I was on JDate for a while and met a couple of women, slept with them too but in reality I would not date them (pictures were photoshopped or something as they were not as hot in reality). I actually continue to use JDate but to meet new people stateside so I have people I can meet when I go over there and not be alone. I am currently in a relationship thus dating is not on the cards but making friends is

But yes they are worth it but you need to take your best picture and use humour, humour is always a plus in profile
You actually paid to join these sites right?
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