Jealously?

Guy liked me. However due to some circumstances (on both our parts) we can't be together. So we are friends. Quite good friends I say. We talk about alot of stuff, we're pretty open with eachother. Maybe he's a bit too open with me though. He tells me about girls he flirts with and likes, and when he does I feel a pang of jealously. I'm unsure whether it's because he's over me and can talk about other girls like it's nothing and that I was like nothing to him too.
Maybe it's because I'm jealous because he has something going for him while my love life has been going down the pan. Or maybe I am jealous because I secretly want him, and when I console him when it doesn't work out with these various girls I'm like the girl mate shoulder to cry on, who will eventually be there at the end of the day.
Thing is, I'm not really sure if I even want to be with him. He claims that when he's with me, he's different than with his other mates. And the circumstances, won't go too much into them, but I find them just to be his excuses, I mean lots of people have had to go through more in relationships. Maybe he values our friendship alot and doesn't want to hurt me, or wants to make sure that we really are just meant to be friends.
So confused.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

Ah doesn't anyone have anything to say? I know it's a bit long. But please.

Reply 2

Jenna Leicester

Maybe he is telling you these things to try and make you jealous? To try and get a reaction? I have certainly been guilty of doing it in my younger years to make sure he had feelings for me. I think you need to have an honest talk. And if you can elaborate on the circumstances it might help more in our understanding...?

Reply 3

peaches_and_cream

Maybe your relationship could only ever be platonic, if he says he's different around you than with his other friends, he obviously thinks highly of you but maybe because of that he just thinks you are a good girl-mate so you can be the sort of person to give him advice on girls. Other possibilities could be that he's not very perceptive of womens' feelings and is completely oblivious to your sentiments, or he's a manipulative **** who enjoys seeing women get in a fluster over him because it makes him feel good about himself. And if you're not even sure that you'd want to be with this guy anyway, steel yourself to your emotions and don't let him get to you, however hard it may be. Good luck x

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

See I thought that. But I don't want to assume that kind of thing. Plus we talk about it sometimes but we kind of go in circles a bit. And I don't want to bring it up randomly because then he will think I do like him. When I'm still unsure of mine and his feelings.
Circumstances = we don't live that close, when he liked me he was still kind of rebounding off another girl, and I'm not the type he would usually go for and vice versa. When he describes what kind of girl he likes, I'm like the opposite.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

peaches_and_cream

Maybe your relationship could only ever be platonic, if he says he's different around you than with his other friends, he obviously thinks highly of you but maybe because of that he just thinks you are a good girl-mate so you can be the sort of person to give him advice on girls. Other possibilities could be that he's not very perceptive of womens' feelings and is completely oblivious to your sentiments, or he's a manipulative **** who enjoys seeing women get in a fluster over him because it makes him feel good about himself. And if you're not even sure that you'd want to be with this guy anyway, steel yourself to your emotions and don't let him get to you, however hard it may be. Good luck x

Wow, I've never thought of it like that. That's the problem. Too wrapped up into thinking what I want to think, forget to think about what the other possibilities might be.