Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Do you think he fancies his (female) best friend? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I met this girl recently at uni and she invited me and a couple of my friends on a night out with her and her friends. I met this guy, he kept giving me lots of eye contact, being really nice to me, was checking me out etc. and in general pretty friendly. His best friend is a girl though and apparently she stays round his pretty much every night, sleep in the same bed most nights etc. and when I asked people if they have anything sexual I got a few don't knows and one person who said she might fancy him (but I don't know whether that's true)... anyway so at the end of the night we were pretty drunk and my house is pretty far away from this club and my friends who came with me had gone off to another club with some other people. So I was with this guy, his girl best friend and the girl who I met who originally asked me to come out with them (and some other people)... he said I was too drunk to go home so I should stay in his room (we had been talking throughout the night). I liked him so I said sure, then his girl best friend just said she would sleep in another girl's room (he didn't ask her). So when we get back to his room we got into bed, he didn't try to kiss me or anything (though I get the impression he has fake confidence and is a bit insecure) but he was hugging me and I fell asleep pretty quickly.

    They have asked me and my friends out again for when we go back to uni...

    Do you think this guy might like me or does he fancy his girl best friend? Because you always hear "guys and girls cannot be best friends, sex always gets in the way" and she sleeps at his place in his bed pretty much every night (because it's easier for her than her going home or something).. I don't like making the first move but I get the feeling this guy doesn't either... what to do? Should I bother making a move if he loves his best friend?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    i think you are reading far too much into their relationship.
    I bet if you asked him out you could see where things go from there.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    assuming he doesn't fancy her and they are just best friends. She stays at his regularly with out anything sexual just because its easier.He thought you were to drunk to let you make your way home and you slept in the same bed without anything sexual. Sounds pretty similar.. is there anything else hes done to make you think he fancies you.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by boba)
    assuming he doesn't fancy her and they are just best friends. She stays at his regularly with out anything sexual just because its easier.He thought you were to drunk to let you make your way home and you slept in the same bed without anything sexual. Sounds pretty similar.. is there anything else hes done to make you think he fancies you.
    Not really to be honest, it's just the way he kept looking at me. I am pretty certain he found me attractive but whether that means anything I don't know...

    He could have easily have ignored me and left me to go home with one of the other girls we were with or not cared at all.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    bump
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Well if you like him, get to know him more.

    But I don't think anything's going on between those two.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • Section Leader
    • Political Ambassador
    • Reporter Team
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Sexual attraction is a primary motivator of intergender friendships, and has been studied. Women are usually oblivious to the idea that their male friends secretly harbour feelings of attraction for them.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Maybe he's gay? Seriously he might be as it would seem normal for him to always be in bed with a girl who he's just friends with?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Gibb~)
    Maybe he's gay? Seriously he might be as it would seem normal for him to always be in bed with a girl who he's just friends with?
    yeah I had considered that and I asked 3 of my friends (who know him) what they thought about him being gay and they said no, apparently he got off with a girl last month.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Probably friends with benefits, ask him. Tell him you like him but are a bit creeped out about what him and this girl get up to. Listen to him explain himself and then you can work out whether he's bull****ting or not.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    To be fair he might just like the female attention. I've had literally the same thing with a guy at uni for over a year now and it hasn't gone anywhere. I used to think he liked me but later realised he acts exactly the same way with loads of other girls.

    At one point I crashed round this guy's after a party (along with a couple others) and we ended up cuddling up on the sofa to sleep, he literally put his arms around me and we linked hands etc so I thought it meant he might like me but then I remembered another time when I'd crashed at his house and I slept in the spare room whilst another girl shared with him so it probably didn't mean anything. I've since noticed he's just very female-friendly and I shouldn't take anything he says/does at more than face value cause I'm just being a woman and reading too much into it. Maybe you're doing the same thing? Especially if you already know he does the same thing with another girl.

    Either way if you don't know him that well you might as well say something to him. That way if it doesn't go the way you want it won't really matter cause it won't be damaging some long-term friendship.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Beige_Angel)
    To be fair he might just like the female attention. I've had literally the same thing with a guy at uni for over a year now and it hasn't gone anywhere. I used to think he liked me but later realised he acts exactly the same way with loads of other girls.

    At one point I crashed round this guy's after a party (along with a couple others) and we ended up cuddling up on the sofa to sleep, he literally put his arms around me and we linked hands etc so I thought it meant he might like me but then I remembered another time when I'd crashed at his house and I slept in the spare room whilst another girl shared with him so it probably didn't mean anything. I've since noticed he's just very female-friendly and I shouldn't take anything he says/does at more than face value cause I'm just being a woman and reading too much into it. Maybe you're doing the same thing? Especially if you already know he does the same thing with another girl.

    Either way if you don't know him that well you might as well say something to him. That way if it doesn't go the way you want it won't really matter cause it won't be damaging some long-term friendship.
    This girl, who is his best friend, is the only one he does it with as far as I'm aware. Everyone says he's a really nice guy and I know he is FAR from a player!
    • Offline

      3
      letting this girl sleep in his bed several times without having sex with her? he's probably gay
      Offline

      3
      ReputationRep:
      (Original post by Anonymous)
      This girl, who is his best friend, is the only one he does it with as far as I'm aware. Everyone says he's a really nice guy and I know he is FAR from a player!
      Oh no I'm not suggesting either of them are players, I don't think my guy sleeps around at all I'm just saying he's able to be physically close with girls without it meaning anything and it could be the same for you. Obviously this might not be the case and he might like you too; I was just giving you another side to think about.

      In fact the girl he shared with whilst I was round had a boyfriend at the time and I know they didn't do anything (well I think so anyway).
      • #1
      • Thread Starter
      #1

      (Original post by TheEssence)
      letting this girl sleep in his bed several times without having sex with her? he's probably gay
      He isn't gay.
      Offline

      16
      ReputationRep:
      My advice would be to stop dwelling on everything, go out with that group of friends again and see what happens.
      Offline

      1
      ReputationRep:
      (Original post by Aaron9890)
      Probably friends with benefits, ask him. Tell him you like him but are a bit creeped out about what him and this girl get up to. Listen to him explain himself and then you can work out whether he's bull****ting or not.
      No. The OP has met this guy once. She has absolutely no right to comment on the nature of his relationship with his best friend, nor imply that he must stop because she is jealous. If someone who I had met once before came up to me and told me that I should stop behaving in a certain way with a friend I would tell them where to get off. What this guy and his best friend get up to is nobody's business but theirs, and to be honest I think that telling someone you like them on the second meeting - with the implication that they as a result must break off anything they have with anyone else - is a little bit forward. It's fine to like the look of someone on the first meeting, but obsessing over them like this is not good. OP, put this guy to the back of your mind, go out, have fun, meet new people and then see what happens if and when you go out with them again in the new term.
      Offline

      0
      ReputationRep:
      (Original post by Anonymous)
      Not really to be honest, it's just the way he kept looking at me. I am pretty certain he found me attractive but whether that means anything I don't know...

      He could have easily have ignored me and left me to go home with one of the other girls we were with or not cared at all.
      well unfortunately there's no way for us to know your just going to have to get to know him more and find out for yourself if you like him. Sorry good luck!
      Offline

      0
      ReputationRep:
      There's nothing peculiar about sharing a bed with a female friend, I have done this several times. OP, i suggest you meet up with him again, he seems like a nice lad. All the best
      • #1
      • Thread Starter
      #1

      (Original post by Climbontoyourseahorse)
      No. The OP has met this guy once. She has absolutely no right to comment on the nature of his relationship with his best friend, nor imply that he must stop because she is jealous. If someone who I had met once before came up to me and told me that I should stop behaving in a certain way with a friend I would tell them where to get off. What this guy and his best friend get up to is nobody's business but theirs, and to be honest I think that telling someone you like them on the second meeting - with the implication that they as a result must break off anything they have with anyone else - is a little bit forward. It's fine to like the look of someone on the first meeting, but obsessing over them like this is not good. OP, put this guy to the back of your mind, go out, have fun, meet new people and then see what happens if and when you go out with them again in the new term.
      Um you need to get a grip? I never EVER once said he must stop nor do I want him to! If you must know my main concern is stepping on her toes and upsetting her OR making a fool out of myself! I'm not jealous of their relationship, I only met the guy once like you said so it's not like I'm emotionally invested in him, he just seemed like a really nice guy and we got on really well when talking... plus he SEEMED interested (I can usually tell)... but seeing as he has such a close relationship with a female it makes me doubt myself. I would never ask him to stop how he acts with his best friend! I am also not obsessing! I am just wondering whether it is worth flirting a bit more next time to see how it goes, or whether I would just be making myself look stupid.
     
     
     
    Reply
    Submit reply
    TSR Support Team

    We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

    Updated: December 30, 2012
  1. See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  2. Poll
    Will you be richer or poorer than your parents?
  3. See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  4. The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.