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My boyfriend wants to leave me because of his ex.

Hey guys, my boyfriend told me two nights ago that he wants a break because he's still thinking about his ex (who dumped him over eight months ago) and all new things that he never told me cropped up in the conversation. He's been thinking about her a lot while we've been in a relationship together and in tr summer he went on holiday with her that "changed his life". Me being upset tried to resolve it but he's having none of it, he wants to talk to me face to face (he told me all of this via text btw) but I'm not sure if I want to have the conversation because I have modules in January. Can anyone help
Me? I love him, and he still texts me :frown: and tells me not to be upset :frown: x


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Reply 1
Sorry but hes a dick, I don't think you should talk to him until hes got himself sorted out. If you can bring yourself to do it then block his number on your phone for a bit, getting texts that remind you of him is only gonna make things worse. Good luck x
Original post by Lizzie232
Sorry but hes a dick, I don't think you should talk to him until hes got himself sorted out. If you can bring yourself to do it then block his number on your phone for a bit, getting texts that remind you of him is only gonna make things worse. Good luck x


I wouldn't say he's a dick, its not his fault he's confused. He probably thought he was over his ex than realised he wasn't later.

I would talk to him. I know you say you have modules but do you really think not talking about it and not knowing where you stand will be any less damaging. You're not the only on to think about here. The best outcome needs to be reached for both of you. Its not fair to not allow him to talk about it because you're scared of how he feels. Its not fair on you that he feels like this, but thats not his fault. The whole situation isn't fair, but at least hes talking to you and trying to do the right thing. You can't resolve it because you can't block his feelings. I do agree that he needs to sort himself out and I don't think your approach will help that.
Reply 3
Ouch. What a bummer. I assume he went on holiday with her whilst still with you, right? That's not on. If it wasn't for that... if he hadn't been spending time with her but had ONLY been contemplating it, then I wouldn't say that he's been a douche, because at least he's owned up now.

But since he HAS (pressumably) taken his thoughts to the next level by acting on them, yes, he's been a douche. And why would you want to chase down a douche, hmmmmm?

You have to get it in your head - as painful as it is - that everytime he was looking in your eyes, he could have been thinking about hers. Everytime you went out on a date, he could have been wishing it was with her instead. Everytime you had sex....

When you stop and think about what it really means that he wants to leave you because he's not over his ex, you'll stop wanting to be with him. You'll still be upset, but the last thing you'll want to do is 'resolve things'. You must realise that you have no control in this anymore. Perhaps you did at one point; perhaps you yourself are not perfect and behaved in ways that made him think of her more - but all in all, it sounds like he was gonna be thinking of her regardless of how you behaved. So what can you do? Nothing.

I don't see the point in talking face to face; how many times do you really need to hear 'I want to be with another girl; in my view, another girl is better for me than you'? What's to talk about? He's already made his decision. I reckon if you meet up, he'll only be doing so to alleviate his own guilt - do a bit of damage control. You, on the other hand, won't really get much out of it. Do it if you feel you have to for 'closure' reasons, but for heaven's sake don't see him hoping you can change his mind. Remember: every time you had sex...

If I were you I would simply cut contact. It's the most personally challenging option, but it's also the best way to turn the attention back onto yourself; you need to take care of YOU now. You've got exams coming up - get on with it. Do the things that make you happy and do not stalk him on FB - in fact, delete him. After all, he did screw you over. In six months from now you'll be well over it. And you never know; he may come to regret his decision, and by then it'll be his problem.
focus on yourself right now. It's clearly upsetting you a lot, so drop contact with him until after exams maybe?

Sorry to hear about that, sounds terrible :frown: x
Reply 5
Sounds like you dodged a bullet to be fair... if he is still thinking about his ex then he obviously won't give you the attention or care that you deserve, no matter how "confused" he may be he has no excuses really...
Reply 6
Everyone days to move on and my friends have made it worse by voicing their own opinions without consulting me first which I'm kinda mad about :frown:


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