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The Describe The Person Above You Generation IX Watch

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    (Original post by L'Evil Fish)
    :lol: think of a question? and number of marks and I'll spoiler a response

    Just steal some from the English Study help section


    Ergh I should probably do some marking in there. Haven't since winning study thingy... would be crummy to not
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    (Original post by Hal.E.Lujah)
    Just steal some from the English Study help section


    Ergh I should probably do some marking in there. Haven't since winning study thingy... would be crummy to not
    Effort how about...

    How is the the theme of isolation explored in TKaM? How many marks would that be? :dontknow:

    You should :rofl: I'm tempted to send you something that had been marked, but I thought should have been higher... :mmm:
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    (Original post by L'Evil Fish)
    Effort how about...

    How is the the theme of isolation explored in TKaM? How many marks would that be? :dontknow:

    You should :rofl:

    Probably 24 marks why not. Section B.

    Gogo! Remember, Point Example Explanation, maybe a few Links for easy marks

    And please use introduction with conclusion, I actually enjoy giving full marks out every now and again.
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    (Original post by Hal.E.Lujah)
    Probably 24 marks why not. Section B.

    Gogo! Remember, Point Example Explanation, maybe a few Links for easy marks

    And please use introduction with conclusion, I actually enjoy giving full marks out every now and again.
    I'll put in a full response now... remember, it should be better in the exams :mmm: this is off the head typing

    Spoiler:
    Show

    To Kill a Mockingbird explores the theme of isolation in numerous ways, both in a social and prejudicial manner. Isolation occurs when an individual or group of people are singled out and segregated in this context. Maycomb as a county was highly prejudicial towards black people due to slavery, despite the abolition, the white population still had the ideology that they were superior, which causes them to isolate the black community.
    One form of severe isolation, is the case of Arthur Radley, he is referred to as "Boo" throughout the novel which is often associated with phantoms, which are also outcast beings and cut out from the world. Boo is a social recluse due to prior events in his childhood, he has a child like mentality and is perpetually stuck in this mindset. This is a result of his isolation from the community. Maycomb refer to the Radley's as abnormal, due to the fact they keep their windows and doors shut. In turn this leads to Arthur being outcast and due to a lack of integration with society he doesn't mentally develop.
    There are stories surrounding Boo, which build up a horrid persona, a malevolent phantom and the children begin to pick up on these. As a result they act peculiarly around the Radley house.
    Boo attempts to create a friendship between himself and Jem and Scout by leaving presents in the hole in the tree. Each time they found a gift, Boo must have felt his relationship develop. Until his father sealed the hole with cement. This to me signifies the cut off to thr outside world, the hole in the tree was the door to social interaction.
    Another major form of isolation which occurred between groups of people was the split between the communities of black and white. The blacks had their own church deemed unworthy to attend with white folk, this display of prejudicial isolation is prominent throughout the novel, Tom's death was a tragic one. He represents one part of the Mockingbird. Isolated. Convicted. Killed. A sin was committed. ( I'm grasping at straws here )

    One form of isolation that was quite sad to see, was that of Mayella Ewell, due to economical circumstances she was also outcast by society, her father, a raging alcoholic (like ranbow :mmm:) was looked down upon. As a result, Mayella must have felt inferior to society too.
    We see the extent as to which she felt isolated due to her approaching Tom in such a way. She'd sink so "low" as to lust for a black man, to feel wanted, a part of something.

    Isolation is quite a key feature in order to allow the reader to empathise with character and engage. In a way we also see Scout, the author being isolated from Jem as he grows up, this signifies that everyone was affected by a form of isolation, every single character. Whether it be due to social, economical or racial grounds, or even as a result of past actions.


    Shall I write more?

    Imagine I wrote about Dolphus Raymond, and how he pretends to consume alcohol, to isolate himself (after marrying a black Woman) as he believes isolation is better and that we don't need society's opinions imposed on us.
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    (Original post by ranbow99)
    OMG!! Then I can meet..... :mmm:



    But your name was first if I recall correctly :fyi:

    It was a mix between SuBo and Pete Burns, with a dash of Ann :sexface:
    You can meet Simon Cowell >_>

    Men always come first :smug:

    Wow, I am jelly >_> I forgot who SuBo was mixed with but it was Pete Burns :mmm:
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    (Original post by The Epicurean)
    Men always come first :smug:
    :sexface:
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    (Original post by Hal.E.Lujah)
    in.
    Done... Shall I,write more? I feel it's quite **** actually :lol: but yeah..
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    (Original post by L'Evil Fish)
    To Kill a Mockingbird explores the theme of isolation in numerous ways, both in a social and prejudicial manner. Isolation occurs when an individual or group of people are singled out and segregated in this context. Maycomb as a county was highly prejudicial towards black people due to slavery, despite the abolition, the white population still had the ideology that they were superior, which causes them to isolate the black community.
    One form of severe isolation, is the case of Arthur Radley, he is referred to as "Boo" throughout the novel which is often associated with phantoms, which are also outcast beings and cut out from the world. Boo is a social recluse due to prior events in his childhood, he has a child like mentality and is perpetually stuck in this mindset. This is a result of his isolation from the community. Maycomb refer to the Radley's as abnormal, due to the fact they keep their windows and doors shut. In turn this leads to Arthur being outcast and due to a lack of integration with society he doesn't mentally develop.
    There are stories surrounding Boo, which build up a horrid persona, a malevolent phantom and the children begin to pick up on these. As a result they act peculiarly around the Radley house. [Build this point up further?]
    Boo attempts to create a friendship between himself and Jem and Scout by leaving presents in the hole in the tree. Each time they found a gift, Boo must have felt his relationship develop. Until his father sealed the hole with cement. This to me signifies the cut off to thr outside world, the hole in the tree was the door to social interaction.[Very good, but a bit oddly phrased and very personally involved. You could pick up another mark here easily just by structure being stronger]
    Another major form of isolation which occurred between groups of people was the split between the communities of black and white. [Drifting away from the novel.]The blacks had their own church deemed unworthy to attend with white folk, this display of prejudicial isolation is prominent throughout the novel, Tom's death was a tragic one. He represents one part of the Mockingbird. Isolated. Convicted. Killed. A sin was committed. [Not liking the stylistic choice here, and it feels like Tom's death is just rammed in here in a discussion of the church. Try to say more about church maybe, and the spiritual signifigance explored in the novel 'All men equal in God's eyes'/hypocrisy, then move on to Tom]( I'm grasping at straws here )

    One form of isolation that was quite sad to see,[It's usually more effective to make a point without it being personal. Imagine it was a debate on TSR, right now it's implied you're playing the role of 'Well I did this once so I know all about it' ] was that of Mayella Ewell, due to economical circumstances she was also outcast by society, her father, a raging alcoholic (like ranbow :mmm:) was looked down upon. As a result, Mayella must have felt inferior to society too.
    We see the extent as to which she felt isolated due to her approaching Tom in such a way. She'd sink so "low" as to lust for a black man, to feel wanted, a part of something. [Was her isolation necessary for her to escape the cultural constraints?]

    Isolation is quite a key feature in order to allow the reader to empathise with character and engage. In a way we also see Scout, the author being isolated from Jem as he grows up, this signifies that everyone was affected by a form of isolation, every single character. Whether it be due to social, economical or racial grounds, or even as a result of past actions.

    That's actually really good :awesome:


    Orange means I think you should rephrase or move this
    Purple means it doesn't make sense
    Red and crossed out means cut it out
    Green is an addition or change


    Overall, I'd say there isn't much to change, especially from the intro/first paragraph. I lost you a bit in the middle and towards the end your points felt much weaker, perhaps implying evidence that you've not done many practice essays

    Try to really stick to that style you opened with, ticking all the boxes and racking up the marks.

    Everything I've said is probably self explanatory, apart from the conclusion. Try to avoid making points in the conclusion, examiners are explicitly told not to award any marks for them. Also, it definitely could be longer, but you'll fill up quite quickly if you expand where I've advised.

    Hope helps a bit, try writing another on something else tomorrow sometime. No rush really.



    P.S.

    Wasn't my most thorough mark, but I think most important parts covered.
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    (Original post by Hal.E.Lujah)
    That's actually really good :awesome:


    Orange means I think you should rephrase or move this
    Purple means it doesn't make sense
    Red and crossed out means cut it out
    Green is an addition or change


    Overall, I'd say there isn't much to change, especially from the intro/first paragraph. I lost you a bit in the middle and towards the end your points felt much weaker, perhaps implying evidence that you've not done many practice essays

    Try to really stick to that style you opened with, ticking all the boxes and racking up the marks.

    Everything I've said is probably self explanatory, apart from the conclusion. Try to avoid making points in the conclusion, examiners are explicitly told not to award any marks for them.

    Hope helps a bit, try writing another on something else tomorrow sometime. No rush really.



    P.S.

    Wasn't my most thorough mark, but I think most important parts covered.
    I also edited a tiny bit after the spoiler so how low a mark?

    10? 12!
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    ^ Referred to me in his essay :ahee: But as a raging alcoholic

    (Original post by The Epicurean)
    You can meet Simon Cowell >_>

    Men always come first :smug:

    Wow, I am jelly >_> I forgot who SuBo was mixed with but it was Pete Burns :mmm:
    Simon Cowell eww :yucky:

    I agree with you :yep:
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    (Original post by L'Evil Fish)
    I also edited a tiny bit after the spoiler so how low a mark?

    10? 12!

    Hard to say, it's a made up question without a mark scheme for me to work on. I'd give it a tenuous 14, but that doesn't really mean anything, just giving it the tick the boxes grading :dontknow:

    Like I said, can pick up loads more marks with just little additions here and there.
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    ^ :rofl: I couldn't resist :mmm:
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    (Original post by L'Evil Fish)
    ^ :rofl: I couldn't resist :mmm:

    :eek: Did you use an example answer? If so my heart will be broken.
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    (Original post by Hal.E.Lujah)
    :eek: Did you use an example answer? If so my heart will be broken.
    Example answer?
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    (Original post by L'Evil Fish)
    Example answer?

    What I was saying before, people in the study help posting answers that they had the marks for already (Such as one that's been given 12/20) and posting it online when it's not their own work
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    (Original post by Hal.E.Lujah)
    What I was saying before, people in the study help posting answers that they had the marks for already (Such as one that's been given 12/20) and posting it online when it's not their own work
    Nope, I just made that up on the spot if it had been set by the teacher it'd be much better than what I just wrote.

    I have an example waiting if you want creative writing, I supposedly scored 18/20
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    ^did not just have his tower fall down :emo:

    (Original post by ranbow99)
    Simon Cowell eww :yucky:

    I agree with you :yep:
    Nobody can pull off whites tees like he does :sexface:

    Huh, agree with what?
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    ^ jenga tower?
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    (Original post by The Epicurean)
    ^did not just have his tower fall down :emo:



    Nobody can pull off whites tees like he does :sexface:

    Huh, agree with what?
    :console:

    And high trousers :mmm:

    Agree that men come first, seeing as I am a fine male specimen :smug:
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    ^likes men who wear their trosuers high >_>

    (Original post by ranbow99)
    :console:

    And high trousers :mmm:

    Agree that men come first, seeing as I am a fine male specimen :smug:

    High trousers :sexface:

    Are you male again? :awesome: Now I can ask you the typical male questions like....If you could tap any female member in this thread, who would it be and why? :pierre:
 
 
 
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