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Really don't want to go back to University after Christmas! Watch

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    Hello,
    I’m meant to be going back to University a week today and I’m dreading it. I’m a first year and I’ve not really made many friends. My flatmates are nice enough but I don’t really fit in with them, and I found out that the group of 'friends' from my course that had talked about houses with me have already gone and signed the contract on a house together without even mentioning it to me. Until I found this out I was loving university and I thought we were all good friends, but it felt like I’d been stabbed in the back when I found out. The last few weeks of term were spent counting the days until I could come home, and I'm sad to say that a lot of old issues/self harm problems resurfaced in those last few weeks.
    I’m worried sick about where I’m going to live next year, my parents keep asking me and I’m too ashamed to say that nobody wants to live with me. All my friends from home are having the time of their life at university and have made some amazing friends already, which makes me feel even more lonely. I’ve been the happiest I’ve been in ages being home for Christmas with my family and friends, but my heart drops every time I think about having to go back next week.
    I really don’t want to go back into halls next year; if I’m honest, before I went to university the thought of having a nice house with my mates in second year was one of the things that I was looking forward to the most.
    I haven’t told anyone how depressed the thought of going back there is making me, because I don’t want to be a burden on my friends or worry my parents. I’m seriously thinking about dropping out, but I have no idea what else I would do. I just feel like I worked so hard in sixth form to get into university, and it was for nothing. My course is pretty good, which is the main reason why I'm reluctant to drop out.

    There’s so many people posting on here saying that they can’t wait to get back to university, but am I the only person who's dreading it? Any advice for how to make next semester better?
    Thank you for reading this, if you did.
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    Im a year younger than yourself, but i have some sort of idea what you going through. The whole idea of being on your own and not really having the uni experience. Dont worry, its hard but you not the only person feeling like this, im pretty sure theres others just like you. I would you talk to your parent so you dont get too depressed. because trust me it will only making things worse.....and it does sound like its quiet bad. If i was you i would stay on for this year and then transfer, so all that work for a-level doesnt go to waste.
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    battle though, the grass will be greener, it will just fall together when you least expect it
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    Those "friends" of yours don't sound very considerate if they deliberately left you out of signing a contract for a house. I would look for a better group of people to live with.
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    Yeah I'm not really dreading it, because I've steeled myself from it, but I totally get where you're coming from. I too didn't have anyone to live with this past term and had to rent a house through an agency with some total strangers. All the people I knew from first year were off on their own renting places because I failed the term and took a term off.
    So I would normally feel ultra terrible. But somehow, I've steeled myself from these strong emotions since like 2 or 3 years ago. The good news is I made a bunch of new friends this last term and the people I live with are cool and I hang out with them often enough. I also am diving head first into sports and clubs so I don't have time to think about my terrible terrible luck. And the more sports and clubs I get into, the more I have fun and the more friends I automatically make. I'm getting to know more girls and chilling with some new friends. All because I took out my frustration and anger on the gym and swimming and productive things.
    So that is my advice to you. Hope this helps.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello,
    I’m meant to be going back to University a week today and I’m dreading it. I’m a first year and I’ve not really made many friends. My flatmates are nice enough but I don’t really fit in with them, and I found out that the group of 'friends' from my course that had talked about houses with me have already gone and signed the contract on a house together without even mentioning it to me. Until I found this out I was loving university and I thought we were all good friends, but it felt like I’d been stabbed in the back when I found out. The last few weeks of term were spent counting the days until I could come home, and I'm sad to say that a lot of old issues/self harm problems resurfaced in those last few weeks.
    I’m worried sick about where I’m going to live next year, my parents keep asking me and I’m too ashamed to say that nobody wants to live with me. All my friends from home are having the time of their life at university and have made some amazing friends already, which makes me feel even more lonely. I’ve been the happiest I’ve been in ages being home for Christmas with my family and friends, but my heart drops every time I think about having to go back next week.
    I really don’t want to go back into halls next year; if I’m honest, before I went to university the thought of having a nice house with my mates in second year was one of the things that I was looking forward to the most.
    I haven’t told anyone how depressed the thought of going back there is making me, because I don’t want to be a burden on my friends or worry my parents. I’m seriously thinking about dropping out, but I have no idea what else I would do. I just feel like I worked so hard in sixth form to get into university, and it was for nothing. My course is pretty good, which is the main reason why I'm reluctant to drop out.

    There’s so many people posting on here saying that they can’t wait to get back to university, but am I the only person who's dreading it? Any advice for how to make next semester better?
    Thank you for reading this, if you did.

    Firstly, I'd speak to your parents regarding the issues. There is no shame in it, trust me.

    Secondly, don't confront but speak to one of your friends. Due to my experience in work (part-time letting agent), tenancy agreements are always amendable to include another person. Its not the end of the world!
    I suggest not to go down the confrontational route, as it may ruin any future relationships with these people, thus be firm but fair when talking to them and go about it the right way. You'll see changes

    Thirdly, don't drop out this year. It would be a waste and your already half way through it. See it as somewhat character-building.

    If you need anybody to speak to, feel free to PM me.
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    dont drop out of your course because of some housing and friendship issues. like you say, the course is what you want to do and you worked hard in school to get to university, so dropping out of uni wouldnt help in anyway at all. Have you thought about talking to your friends about the situation? Also if the self-harming and personal problems are coming back i would encourage you to perhaps talk to a counsellor?
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    Do not worry, you do not need to get a house yet! It is not even 2013. A lot of time to worry about getting a house. If not live with strangers or stay on campus. No need to worry about it so much.

    University is not just about friends you know!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello,
    I’m meant to be going back to University a week today and I’m dreading it. I’m a first year and I’ve not really made many friends. My flatmates are nice enough but I don’t really fit in with them, and I found out that the group of 'friends' from my course that had talked about houses with me have already gone and signed the contract on a house together without even mentioning it to me. Until I found this out I was loving university and I thought we were all good friends, but it felt like I’d been stabbed in the back when I found out. The last few weeks of term were spent counting the days until I could come home, and I'm sad to say that a lot of old issues/self harm problems resurfaced in those last few weeks.
    I’m worried sick about where I’m going to live next year, my parents keep asking me and I’m too ashamed to say that nobody wants to live with me. All my friends from home are having the time of their life at university and have made some amazing friends already, which makes me feel even more lonely. I’ve been the happiest I’ve been in ages being home for Christmas with my family and friends, but my heart drops every time I think about having to go back next week.
    I really don’t want to go back into halls next year; if I’m honest, before I went to university the thought of having a nice house with my mates in second year was one of the things that I was looking forward to the most.
    I haven’t told anyone how depressed the thought of going back there is making me, because I don’t want to be a burden on my friends or worry my parents. I’m seriously thinking about dropping out, but I have no idea what else I would do. I just feel like I worked so hard in sixth form to get into university, and it was for nothing. My course is pretty good, which is the main reason why I'm reluctant to drop out.

    There’s so many people posting on here saying that they can’t wait to get back to university, but am I the only person who's dreading it? Any advice for how to make next semester better?
    Thank you for reading this, if you did.

    I feel EXACTLY everything you're feeling right now. Which university are you at OP?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    x
    With regards to them not looking for a house with you, it is a **** thing to happen, and something you need to get to the bottom of.

    When my group looked for a house in second year there was one guy we didn't talk to about it (and I believe he was ditched by another group too). It was because he was an arrogant prick, to put it quite frankly, and really disgustingly dirty. That, plus a misogynist who expected girls to do all the cleaning. Taking a house is a big step and no-one wants to live with someone that will make their life a misery, it is their home.
    After a year living with random coursemates he assembled that also couldn't find a house his ego had deflated substantially, everyone liked him more and he was invited to live with them in third year.

    Similarly, we took on someone last year who couldn't find a house and he turned out to be a totally socially retarded ****er.

    In my experience, there is always a reason, and you need to talk to them about why.

    On the other hand they could just be a bunch of heartless *****, in which case you need to get out and join some societies and make some more friends! Preferably ones who are nice.
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    Aww, I went through exactly the same thing years ago! So I started afresh with a new group of friends and never looked back. The advice above about clubs and societies to meet new people is good. There will be lots of people who haven't found people to live with yet, it happens every year. Does your Student Union or welfare service have any contacts or meetings for people to get together who haven't found housemates yet? If all else fails, remember that house-sharing, when it works, can be fun, but more often than not (from mine and my friends' experiences) it can get bloody annoying and I enjoyed living in halls the best out of my many years at uni - way more privacy and not as much nagging!
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    OP, I went through exactly the same thing last year and it was horrible. I even suspended my year because of it. Have a look on accommodation websites as there are always places and rooms looking to be filled by other students. Hope you get it sorted. Don't give up hope! Also, I would sincerely talk to your tutor about it because they are there to help. Chin up
 
 
 
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