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A question about long distance Watch

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    Opinions needed!

    How long after being in a long distance relationship do you think its appropriate to move in together? I.e- one of you moves hundreds of miles away from home to live with, or near, the other

    Just curious. I've only been with my boyfriend 4.5 months, but sometimes with a long distance relationship the only thing you can do is concentrate on a happy future together

    (we're both young adults, i'm at uni, he's not)
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    Four and a half months, is that been together or known each other?
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    i've already told you this, I don't want you to move in ffs, I'll visit u soon ok?
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    idk sometimes u find out the person is a serial killer
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    (Original post by Mockery)
    Four and a half months, is that been together or known each other?
    been together. We've known each other over a year
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    Depends a lot on circumstances. Is he able to get a job in the place? Also if you're at uni, are you going to move back to your home town? I think it also depends on your maturity and intensity of relationship as well. Good luck with whatever you decide though.
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    This is so much more than two people moving in together - and that's big enough a deal as it is without added matters. One person here is going to have to sacrifice their current life to be with the other. Not only will that be very difficult, but the person who makes the sacrifice will probably end up resenting the other person and this could cause a massive rift. How will you make the decision? Flip a coin? What about a job for the person who moves? What about the friends and family they will be leaving behind

    Another massive issue here is timing. You've been with this guy for four and a half months. That is no time at all. I can guarantee that you are still in the honeymoon period in which arguments are rare or non-existent and you think that everything about them is incredible. Added to that is the fact that you obviously don't see him very much because of the distance. This probably makes things more intense. If you guys had been together four and a half years, then fine. In that case your only worry would be what I talked about in my first paragraph. I don't mean to patronise you, but infatuation - because that's what 'love' after just a few months - can make you think that things that are very wrong are actually very right. Consider also whether you would be moving in together this early if you lived fairly close to each other. If the answer is no, living together is not the right thing to do. If this relationship is going to have some longevity you need to have a phase of seeing whether you work when seeing each other more frequently but not living together. Going from long distance to moving in together is a huge jump.

    I've never done long distance myself but from what I have heard, it usually only really works when the distance is temporary. From the sounds of it, the distance between you and your boyfriend is not temporary. I know you're aware of this. If you are convinced that the only way to make this relationship work is for you to move in together, and you have been together for four and a half months, then it's not looking good.
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    (Original post by Climbontoyourseahorse)
    This is so much more than two people moving in together - and that's big enough a deal as it is without added matters. One person here is going to have to sacrifice their current life to be with the other. Not only will that be very difficult, but the person who makes the sacrifice will probably end up resenting the other person and this could cause a massive rift. How will you make the decision? Flip a coin? What about a job for the person who moves? What about the friends and family they will be leaving behind

    Another massive issue here is timing. You've been with this guy for four and a half months. That is no time at all. I can guarantee that you are still in the honeymoon period in which arguments are rare or non-existent and you think that everything about them is incredible. Added to that is the fact that you obviously don't see him very much because of the distance. This probably makes things more intense. If you guys had been together four and a half years, then fine. In that case your only worry would be what I talked about in my first paragraph. I don't mean to patronise you, but infatuation - because that's what 'love' after just a few months - can make you think that things that are very wrong are actually very right. Consider also whether you would be moving in together this early if you lived fairly close to each other. If the answer is no, living together is not the right thing to do. If this relationship is going to have some longevity you need to have a phase of seeing whether you work when seeing each other more frequently but not living together. Going from long distance to moving in together is a huge jump.

    I've never done long distance myself but from what I have heard, it usually only really works when the distance is temporary. From the sounds of it, the distance between you and your boyfriend is not temporary. I know you're aware of this. If you are convinced that the only way to make this relationship work is for you to move in together, and you have been together for four and a half months, then it's not looking good.
    Thanks for the opinions. I definitely see where you're coming from. Everything you've just said has been whirling around in my head for weeks, i've contradicted and argued with myself, changed my mind a dozen times and wondered whether our relationship is ever going to work. But it all boils down to the fact that we've come this far long distance and we're not about to give up. I've even considered transferring universities to be at a uni closer to home- and therefore closer to him. But the uni I would want to transfer to is very hard to get into May give it a shot regardless.

    And I know 4 months isn't long at all and we're just young and all that, everyone tells me this piece of information as if I have no sense at all, but without love what are we? And yes, we may still be in the 'honeymoon' phase, but i've been friends with this guy much longer than i've actually been his girlfriend so we're pretty solid together. Its not some childish, naive infatuation, we're best friends. Its not about looks, charm or romance, its about how we communicate and make each other smile, we're a great team. Although we live hundreds of miles apart, i've never trusted anyone this much before and he's a genuinely lovely guy.

    But yes, you're right. If I still lived at home i'd not be moving in with him this soon, no way. And I certainly can't expect him to desert his family and friends, everything he's ever known, to be with his girlfriend. Its either a question of me transferring universities or us toughing it out across the miles.

    Thanks
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    if hes from your home town you are likely to move back there after uni anyway so.. however long you have left at uni.
 
 
 
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