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    From a young age I have loved and admired art, drama, creative writing and poetry. Throughout my school years Art and Design has been the subject I truly enjoyed and excelled in. I chose my secondary school for the well-equipped and diverse curriculum of the arts department. It was whilst in 6th form studying for my AVCE in Art and Design that I was able to gain a greater knowledge of different innovative ways to work with textiles, ceramics, metal, wood, painting, 3D and computer aided design, my hard work and dedication resulting in an A and a B. I am currently studying at Manchester Metropolitan undertaking an Art and Design BTEC Foundation Course. Working with different people was very inspiring and resulted in giving me new ideas. Nevertheless, I have also had to work independently and under pressure at times, as there have been deadlines to be met. I have enjoyed working as a team, especially showing our resulting “maquette” to an audience together with a lighting and music production. I was enthralled with our trips to London visiting many art galleries such as the Tate (turner prize), Tate Modern, Zandra Rhodes Fashion and Textile Museum and the British Museum. I was particularly intrigued with the Saachti Gallery, which had a unique, ultramodern character to all its exhibitions. I am immensely inspired by Pop Art and some of my briefs have been influenced along the lines of Roy Lichtenstein, Andy Warhol, James Rosenquist, Vivienne Westwood and Zandra Rhodes.

    Fortunately I have had the opportunity to travel to various countries. Kwa Zulu Natal in South Africa impressed me particularly, as I experienced a different world such as indigenous tribal life, African wild life in huge Game Parks, breathtaking scenery, poverty etc. African culture permeates into mainstream society and influences design throughout the world.

    I have high ambitions, and in the future I hope to be successfully involved in the fashion and textile industry. Studying at degree level would give me the chance to gain more experience by exploring more hands on textiles, which would be an amazing chance in furthering my knowledge.
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    what youve got is very good, but it just doesnt sseem long enough.. you havnt included a lot about what you take part in in school, and what you can contribute to university life (sports, clubs etc)
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    (Original post by carlabentele)
    From a young age I have loved and admired art, drama, creative writing and poetry. Throughout my school years Art and Design has been the subject I truly enjoyed and excelled in. I chose my secondary school for the well-equipped and diverse curriculum of the arts department. It was whilst in 6th form studying for my AVCE in Art and Design that I was able to gain a greater knowledge of different innovative ways to work with textiles, ceramics, metal, wood, painting, 3D and computer aided design, my hard work and dedication resulting in an A and a B. I am currently studying at Manchester Metropolitan undertaking an Art and Design BTEC Foundation Course. Working with different people was very inspiring and resulted in giving me new ideas. Nevertheless, I have also had to work independently and under pressure at times, as there have been deadlines to be met. I have enjoyed working as a team, especially showing our resulting “maquette” to an audience together with a lighting and music production. I was enthralled with our trips to London visiting many art galleries such as the Tate (turner prize), Tate Modern, Zandra Rhodes Fashion and Textile Museum and the British Museum. I was particularly intrigued with the Saachti Gallery, which had a unique, ultramodern character to all its exhibitions. I am immensely inspired by Pop Art and some of my briefs have been influenced along the lines of Roy Lichtenstein, Andy Warhol, James Rosenquist, Vivienne Westwood and Zandra Rhodes.

    Fortunately I have had the opportunity to travel to various countries. Kwa Zulu Natal in South Africa impressed me particularly, as I experienced a different world such as indigenous tribal life, African wild life in huge Game Parks, breathtaking scenery, poverty etc. African culture permeates into mainstream society and influences design throughout the world.

    I have high ambitions, and in the future I hope to be successfully involved in the fashion and textile industry. Studying at degree level would give me the chance to gain more experience by exploring more hands on textiles, which would be an amazing chance in furthering my knowledge.

    I personally think that too many PSs begin with "from a young age" or "ever since i was young" etc.
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    They've heard the "from a young age thing" so many times it becomes cliché. Also make some specific comments about an artist you admire, or a piece of work you did.
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    (Original post by carlabentele)
    From a young age I have loved and admired art, drama, creative writing and poetry. Throughout my school years Art and Design has been the subject I truly enjoyed and excelled in. I chose my secondary school for the well-equipped and diverse curriculum of the arts department. It was whilst in 6th form studying for my AVCE in Art and Design that I was able to gain a greater knowledge of different innovative ways to work with textiles, ceramics, metal, wood, painting, 3D and computer aided design, my hard work and dedication resulting in an A and a B. I am currently studying at Manchester Metropolitan undertaking an Art and Design BTEC Foundation Course. Working with different people was very inspiring and resulted in giving me new ideas. Nevertheless, I have also had to work independently and under pressure at times, as there have been deadlines to be met. I have enjoyed working as a team, especially showing our resulting “maquette” to an audience together with a lighting and music production. I was enthralled with our trips to London visiting many art galleries such as the Tate (turner prize), Tate Modern, Zandra Rhodes Fashion and Textile Museum and the British Museum. I was particularly intrigued with the Saachti Gallery, which had a unique, ultramodern character to all its exhibitions. I am immensely inspired by Pop Art and some of my briefs have been influenced along the lines of Roy Lichtenstein, Andy Warhol, James Rosenquist, Vivienne Westwood and Zandra Rhodes.

    Fortunately I have had the opportunity to travel to various countries. Kwa Zulu Natal in South Africa impressed me particularly, as I experienced a different world such as indigenous tribal life, African wild life in huge Game Parks, breathtaking scenery, poverty etc. African culture permeates into mainstream society and influences design throughout the world.

    I have high ambitions, and in the future I hope to be successfully involved in the fashion and textile industry. Studying at degree level would give me the chance to gain more experience by exploring more hands on textiles, which would be an amazing chance in furthering my knowledge.

    hi. i tried to reply to this yesterday but the server was too busy blah blah blah...
    anyway!! i think what you've got is good but too short. you need to make some direct references to the course/courses you're applying for. what appeals to you about the course or if any of it extends from your previous studies.
    your point about african culture being a big influence on design is valid but how does it relate to your work? always try to bring it back to the work you have done or the person you are that will attract them to you (or you to them-so that they want you is what im trying to say!!)

    pm me when you've reworked it and i'll re-read if you like. hope i've helped. dearyxxx
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    I agree with the earlier post that 'from a young age' is not the most brilliant beginning, and also your second sentence doesn't sound quite right - mixed tenses? (also the 'there have been deadlines to be met' )

    I'm not sure you can get away with saying you picked your secondary school for the arts - at 11 i'm not sure you're really that dedicated to the idea ( though your parents may have chossen it for that reason)

    Just a general point it sounds a little forced - I tried to make mine something that I would be comfortable reading aloud.
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    (Original post by carlabentele)
    I am currently studying at Manchester Metropolitan undertaking an Art and Design BTEC Foundation Course.
    I think this should be somewhere on your UCAS form already.

    (Original post by carlabentele)
    I have enjoyed working as a team, especially showing our resulting “maquette” to an audience together with a lighting and music production.
    This would be a really interesting event to expand on.

    (Original post by carlabentele)
    I am immensely inspired by Pop Art and some of my briefs have been influenced along the lines of Roy Lichtenstein, Andy Warhol, James Rosenquist, Vivienne Westwood and Zandra Rhodes.
    I know virtually nothing about pop art so I've got no idea how you'd go about it, but how about picking one or two of these people and talk about their work specifically?

    You've got lots of good stuff in there, just try and draw a bit more attention to it and really make the most of all your interests and experiences, they're worth more than a sentence or two!
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    (Original post by carlabentele)
    From a young age I have loved and admired art, drama, creative writing and poetry. Throughout my school years Art and Design has been the subject I truly enjoyed and excelled in. I chose my secondary school for the well-equipped and diverse curriculum of the arts department. It was whilst in 6th form studying for my AVCE in Art and Design that I was able to gain a greater knowledge of different innovative ways to work with textiles, ceramics, metal, wood, painting, 3D and computer aided design, my hard work and dedication resulting in an A and a B. I am currently studying at Manchester Metropolitan undertaking an Art and Design BTEC Foundation Course. Working with different people was very inspiring and resulted in giving me new ideas. Nevertheless, I have also had to work independently and under pressure at times, as there have been deadlines to be met. I have enjoyed working as a team, especially showing our resulting “maquette” to an audience together with a lighting and music production. I was enthralled with our trips to London visiting many art galleries such as the Tate (turner prize), Tate Modern, Zandra Rhodes Fashion and Textile Museum and the British Museum. I was particularly intrigued with the Saachti Gallery, which had a unique, ultramodern character to all its exhibitions. I am immensely inspired by Pop Art and some of my briefs have been influenced along the lines of Roy Lichtenstein, Andy Warhol, James Rosenquist, Vivienne Westwood and Zandra Rhodes.

    Fortunately I have had the opportunity to travel to various countries. Kwa Zulu Natal in South Africa impressed me particularly, as I experienced a different world such as indigenous tribal life, African wild life in huge Game Parks, breathtaking scenery, poverty etc. African culture permeates into mainstream society and influences design throughout the world.

    I have high ambitions, and in the future I hope to be successfully involved in the fashion and textile industry. Studying at degree level would give me the chance to gain more experience by exploring more hands on textiles, which would be an amazing chance in furthering my knowledge.
    Everything in bold is useless and doesn't really tell them anything. The rest is really good, although I think you should write more.
 
 
 
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