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Complicated feelings for a guy... Watch

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    I had an odd thing with a guy for around 8 months where we could just text loads but we never met. It was like some kind of weird LDR relationship. I think it's probably over now 'cause we haven't talked for about 6 weeks now. I kept waiting around for him to get in touch after our last convo, which was a somewhat good one, but he never did.

    I keep thinking that I've finally moved on but then on some days, I just end up crying. It's weird though 'cause I don't think I miss him. I think I've been crying about the way he treated me. I've also noticed that I no longer feel anything when I read his old texts. I don't get those same feelings that I used to have so that's why part of me thinks I'm over him, but then I can't stop bloody crying sometimes!!! I haven't tried to text him. Although he's never ignored a text from me before, I don't want to chance it this time. I don't think I would be able to handle the rejection but then part of me thinks that I should just do it so that I can confirm for sure that it's over 'cause I think I currently don't have the closure that I want so that I can move on.

    Can anyone understand or explain why it is I still cry over him, even though I don't think I miss him?! Would it be an awful idea to reach out?!
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    You haven't tried to contact him, rather you've waited for him to take that step.

    Maybe he got bored of chasing you around when you were never prepared to take a little risk and go after him?
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    (Original post by Nice Marmite)
    You haven't tried to contact him, rather you've waited for him to take that step.

    Maybe he got bored of chasing you around when you were never prepared to take a little risk and go after him?
    Yeah, I had a feeling that someone would say that. I would say that I have been taking some risks. Every time I thought that we got closer, he didn't seem to want to take then next step or something. Anyway, he was the one to end the last conversation. Well, actually, I felt like the conversation didn't end properly. He just stopped texting so that's why I haven't tried to text him 'cause I thought that I should just leave it up to him when he next wants to chat.
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    I agree with Marmite.. The fact that he's never ignored a text of yours gives me the impression he was often the first one to text, and made a lot of the effort. If you didn't reciprocate the effort he probably got bored with you. It's also possible that he got fed up of maintaining a text relationship if he wanted to meet you, or that he had to stop texting you because he got a real girlfriend. Who knows..

    With regards to closure, if he didn't actually do anything to upset you or whatever, then text him and literally ask why you've not spoken in so long. Without having met him it's probably a lot easier to move on, but maybe you're crying because you miss the attention he gave you, and you have no idea why it stopped. If only guys could understand why girls cry, there'd be a lot less problems in the world.
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    (Original post by fghi)
    Yeah, I had a feeling that someone would say that. I would say that I have been taking some risks. Every time I thought that we got closer, he didn't seem to want to take then next step or something. Anyway, he was the one to end the last conversation. Well, actually, I felt like the conversation didn't end properly. He just stopped texting so that's why I haven't tried to text him 'cause I thought that I should just leave it up to him when he next wants to chat.
    With something like a text relationship prior to meeting up, it's such a strange and warped version of real life interaction that you have to put in some serious effort to move it from one stage to another because texting just doesn't easily translate to real life.

    Do text this guy and try and quickly swing things round to the topic of meeting up. I think it would be good for you. Unless you aren't going to be able to meet up soon, in which case there's no point.
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    (Original post by RichyFrench)
    I agree with Marmite.. The fact that he's never ignored a text of yours gives me the impression he was often the first one to text, and made a lot of the effort. If you didn't reciprocate the effort he probably got bored with you. It's also possible that he got fed up of maintaining a text relationship if he wanted to meet you, or that he had to stop texting you because he got a real girlfriend. Who knows..

    With regards to closure, if he didn't actually do anything to upset you or whatever, then text him and literally ask why you've not spoken in so long. Without having met him it's probably a lot easier to move on, but maybe you're crying because you miss the attention he gave you, and you have no idea why it stopped. If only guys could understand why girls cry, there'd be a lot less problems in the world.
    Yeah, he initiated most of the conversations but I felt like it was a bit rude when he would just stop replying. I always tried to carry on the conversations. I felt a bit like he would only chat to me when he wanted 'something' as well. And he never asked to meet me. I was planning to ask him, actually, but then this happened. The last time we chatted, I 'helped' him and then he didn't say a proper goodbye. I felt cheap. This is what I meant when I say that I've been crying because of the way he treated me.
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    (Original post by fghi)
    Yeah, he initiated most of the conversations but I felt like it was a bit rude when he would just stop replying. I always tried to carry on the conversations. I felt a bit like he would only chat to me when he wanted 'something' as well. And he never asked to meet me. I was planning to ask him, actually, but then this happened. The last time we chatted, I 'helped' him and then he didn't say a proper goodbye. I felt cheap. This is what I meant when I say that I've been crying because of the way he treated me.
    You need closure then. Text him.
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    (Original post by Nice Marmite)
    With something like a text relationship prior to meeting up, it's such a strange and warped version of real life interaction that you have to put in some serious effort to move it from one stage to another because texting just doesn't easily translate to real life.

    Do text this guy and try and quickly swing things round to the topic of meeting up. I think it would be good for you. Unless you aren't going to be able to meet up soon, in which case there's no point.
    How can I ask about meeting up after that 6 week break?! The longest we've gone without chatting is like 1 or 2 weeks... It feels like this thing has died anyway... I just want to know somehow that it's definitely over. I think it's also my weird thing of not being able to let go of people. I like that I'm able to reach out to someone somehow, even if we haven't spoken in ages. I don't like the feeling of losing someone from my life. I'm probably stupid for saying this, but feel like I'd still like to be friends or something with him, even if he is with a new woman.
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    (Original post by RichyFrench)
    You need closure then. Text him.
    I want to but I'm just so scared of the rejection. Right now, it still feels fairly open. I feel like I'm crawling back to him or something as well if I were to text him.
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    (Original post by fghi)
    I want to but I'm just so scared of the rejection. Right now, it still feels fairly open. I feel like I'm crawling back to him or something as well if I were to text him.
    I just had a thought. Use tonight as an excuse! Wish him happy new year :five: haha. Sorry i got far to over excited after seeng the thread and couldnt be bithered pming it!

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    ah this sounds so complicated. What about a face to face conversation? What about being more upfront and making your intentions a little clearer? Chasing can get monotonous, especially if your efforts aren't reciprocated. I don't know about other guys, but I don't like it when people play with my emotions, I cut them off quickly. He might have felt like you were friendzoning him, and decided to get out.

    I don't know your situation, and clearly you would like to get with this guy. But these things shouldn't be complicated, so text him again. If he replies, try to make your intentions clearer, perhaps be a bit flirty, arrange to meet. If he doesn't reply, then try to move on.
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    I just had a thought. Use tonight as an excuse! Wish him happy new year :five: haha. Sorry i got far to over excited after seeng the thread and couldnt be bithered pming it!

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    Ah, I would text him at midnight but he's usually in bed before then! But I guess it'd be different for New Year's?! Or I could text on Tuesday morning instead...?!
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    (Original post by Pride)
    ah this sounds so complicated. What about a face to face conversation? What about being more upfront and making your intentions a little clearer? Chasing can get monotonous, especially if your efforts aren't reciprocated. I don't know about other guys, but I don't like it when people play with my emotions, I cut them off quickly. He might have felt like you were friendzoning him, and decided to get out.

    I don't know your situation, and clearly you would like to get with this guy. But these things shouldn't be complicated, so text him again. If he replies, try to make your intentions clearer, perhaps be a bit flirty, arrange to meet. If he doesn't reply, then try to move on.
    We've been flirting and doing naughty stuff all this time...! I don't know how much more obvious I could make it that I like him but he still didn't ask to meet for some weird reason...!
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    (Original post by fghi)
    Ah, I would text him at midnight but he's usually in bed before then! But I guess it'd be different for New Year's?! Or I could text on Tuesday morning instead...?!
    Phone signal goes rubbish nye anyway so text him whenever you want i got mine later on the next day last year :top:

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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    Phone signal goes rubbish nye anyway so text him whenever you want i got mine later on the next day last year :top:

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    I can't believe that I'm actually gonna do it...! I'll just be friendly and try to see what his reaction is; whether he flirts or not. Well, that's assuming that I get a reply anyway...
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    (Original post by fghi)
    I can't believe that I'm actually gonna do it...! I'll just be friendly and try to see what his reaction is; whether he flirts or not. Well, that's assuming that I get a reply anyway...
    Just say something casual like "happy new year. Hope you have a great year. You have any plans tonight?" or something

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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    Just say something casual like "happy new year. Hope you have a great year. You have any plans tonight?" or something

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    Cool, OK . I can't decide if I should just text him now and get it over with 'cause I'm somewhat excited/nervous right now!!!
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    (Original post by fghi)
    Cool, OK . I can't decide if I should just text him now and get it over with 'cause I'm somewhat excited/nervous right now!!!
    Impulse is always best! Ill most likely end up doing it later :/ do itttttt

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    (Original post by fghi)
    Cool, OK . I can't decide if I should just text him now and get it over with 'cause I'm somewhat excited/nervous right now!!!
    How did you get to know him? If its in school or something you could wait till you get back after holidays.
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    (Original post by sissoko46)
    How did you get to know him? If its in school or something you could wait till you get back after holidays.
    I've done it now; he's replied! But now I need to decide how I want to handle this.........
 
 
 
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