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    Most relationships don't work, some do. Out of the six people I knew who came to uni in relationships, five have now broken up. Sometimes I think people just think how much more convenient it would be if they could find someone at the same university as them. Throw into that the fact that you're meeting so many new people. I suppose it all depends how in love you are.

    I'm in my first year at uni and my boyfriend is still in my home town which is ten hours by coach/six hours by train away from me. I never wanted a long distance relationship, didn't think I could cope, but honestly so far it couldn't be going any better. He's usually rubbish at communicating via text and stuff but he's gotten so much better at it since I moved away. We see each other every four weeks or so (megabus is very cheap) and are in contact every day. Sometimes it is hard, especially when you've had a bad day and just want a hug. But I never doubt that it's worth it.

    I do think I've changed since I went to uni, as people above have said. I've definitely become more confident and independent and whatnot. But I haven't stopped loving my boyfriend.
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    I've been in a Uni LDR for 4 years, 1 to go (yay). I'm a medic, and I can say the workload isn't so shocking that occassional, or even frequent weekends can't be spared. Everyone needs a life.

    IMO, the success of an LDR depends a little more than usual on the personalities and the priorities that people have. I am not a relationship driven person, I just love my boyfriend. I think he is the same. Maybe that makes it easier, because there is basically no sacrifice in maintaining the relationship.

    I'm always irritated by those who aggressively insist that entering an LDR is foolish or futile. As I see it there is no loss in trying it out, the worst that can happen is you are unhappy or grow distant, and then end it (without having to see that person often again, I might add!).

    I also think that whilst a lot of couples at different unis break up, a lot of couples in the uni age group break up full stop. I'm not at all convinced the proportion is higher.
    Yet whenever it is involved, distance is exclusively blamed... even if the relationship was already seriously flawed. And nobody tells young people in "regular" relationships that they shouldn't bother because it won't last, even though that is probably just as true.

    OP I would accept the fact you may break up, just as you might break up even if you were staying close to each other. But I wouldn't prepare for it, or dwell on it, and I certainly wouldn't take any pre-emptive actions. Take life as it comes, and if the relationship does start to seriously falter, just don't do anything to be ashamed of.
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    Naw you'll in all likelihood break up, sorry.

    Your relationship was one of convenience, you were both in the same neighbourhood or school.

    Secondly you're growing up still, you may even think you've done as much as you can but you haven't. People change throughout their lives, especially in their adolescence.

    Uni itself effects about as much change as anywhere else with new people and ideas and concepts from around the world.


    Then there is the hell that is LDR. Many people just aren't cut out for it.


    And finally peer pressure. There is a lot of emphasis on being single, partying and um, 'loose morals'. I don't know your girlfriend maybe she is completely dependable and committed. maybe she is a bit weak and will cave in to some exciting new guy she meets. maybe she'll dump you with the intention of running after him, maybe she'll jump into bed with him without even sending that dump text who knows.


    But yeah.

    LDRs work by total and utter commitment of the two people involved to communicate and make time for each other, who are willing to live with the distance stresses.

    They also need a light at the end of the tunnel, a set end to the bull**** distance, and regularly scheduled meet-ups.

    Nothing beats meet-up sex, HOO DAWGY!
    Nothing feels worse than saying goodbye at the airport. Just recalling it makes me almost wanna weep...

    If the above is not possible, do the adult thing and part ways with civility at least.
    There is no shame in making the hard decisions when they need to be made.
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    (Original post by Studentus-anonymous)
    Naw you'll in all likelihood break up, sorry.

    Your relationship was one of convenience, you were both in the same neighbourhood or school.

    Secondly you're growing up still, you may even think you've done as much as you can but you haven't. People change throughout their lives, especially in their adolescence.

    Uni itself effects about as much change as anywhere else with new people and ideas and concepts from around the world.


    Then there is the hell that is LDR. Many people just aren't cut out for it.


    And finally peer pressure. There is a lot of emphasis on being single, partying and um, 'loose morals'. I don't know your girlfriend maybe she is completely dependable and committed. maybe she is a bit weak and will cave in to some exciting new guy she meets. maybe she'll dump you with the intention of running after him, maybe she'll jump into bed with him without even sending that dump text who knows.


    But yeah.
    I think this is overly negative.

    1: You mean to say "if your relationship is of convenience" it will not last. Certainly true, but of all relationships, not just those which occur at a distance. Nothing can be done about that, but the sentiment hardly applies to a relationship which is based on true compatibility.

    2: Not all LDRs are the same. Different unis is hardly the same as different countries, especially as the uni year is on average only 28-30 weeks tops - that's only just over 50% of your time at a distance for one. Different unis is hardly more LDR than same unis in honesty.


    (Original post by Studentus-anonymous)
    LDRs work by total and utter commitment of the two people involved to communicate and make time for each other, who are willing to live with the distance stresses.
    3: I can say in my case at least that this is a gross exaggeration - and I have been in a uni LDR for coming up to 4 uni years.

    I may do now, but on entering the LDR I did not have total and utter commitment, we had been dating for 6 months and that would be foolish. Obviously, it's sad to say goodbye, but can't say I ever felt that stressed by the relationship. And it didn't require hours of daily communication, merely what we both were naturally comfortable and happy with. Nor did we have the cash to see each other that often, with gaps of 5 or 6 weeks not unusual.

    Possibly I am an exceptional individual, and I won't deny it, personality does come into it (some personalities probably just could not suit it) - but I think I'm more unusual than exceptional, and happened luckily to be with the right person. Many people aren't with the right person - but then distance is hardly the reason for their break-up.

    What you say about light at the end of the tunnel is true though, at least for me. This is more difficult with 5 years of distance looming ahead of you - but as I have never not enjoyed the relationship, even if we split up on the day of my graduation I wouldn't regret a thing.
 
 
 
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