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Getting to know a girl
Hi i have been talking with this girl for a couple of months now and we go to the same school i am in year 11 and she is in year 10. We have been talking on msn just chatting and stuff and she has told me that she would go out with me if she got to know me more because she said she would like to know me better. She has said i am quite good looking and i have a nice personality. Although her jealous friend laughed when she told her she thought i was good-looking. 
The trouble is i can never talk to her at school because 1. i am too shy to and do not know what to say to her and 2. one of her friends i think is a bit jealous and i don't think she likes me because she doesn't understand why i fancy this girl and not her. So i cannot talk to her when she is with her friends. Well trouble is i cannot talk to her anyway because i don't know what to say, i am one of those people that just blanks infront of girls, except on msn where i have time to think, it's wierd.
Have you very helpful people got any advice on how to get to know her more, how to talk to her more and stuff like that, because it seems hard to just blurt out a question that asks about her. for example. going up to her and saying "what's your favourite type of music?" just seems totally wierd so i don't know how to get to know her.
Thank you so much for any help will be really helpful. Cheers.
The trouble is i can never talk to her at school because 1. i am too shy to and do not know what to say to her and 2. one of her friends i think is a bit jealous and i don't think she likes me because she doesn't understand why i fancy this girl and not her. So i cannot talk to her when she is with her friends. Well trouble is i cannot talk to her anyway because i don't know what to say, i am one of those people that just blanks infront of girls, except on msn where i have time to think, it's wierd.
Have you very helpful people got any advice on how to get to know her more, how to talk to her more and stuff like that, because it seems hard to just blurt out a question that asks about her. for example. going up to her and saying "what's your favourite type of music?" just seems totally wierd so i don't know how to get to know her.
Thank you so much for any help will be really helpful. Cheers.
Anonymous
Hi i have been talking with this girl for a couple of months now and we go to the same school i am in year 11 and she is in year 10. We have been talking on msn just chatting and stuff and she has told me that she would go out with me if she got to know me more because she said she would like to know me better. She has said i am quite good looking and i have a nice personality. Although her jealous friend laughed when she told her she thought i was good-looking.
The trouble is i can never talk to her at school because 1. i am too shy to and do not know what to say to her and 2. one of her friends i think is a bit jealous and i don't think she likes me because she doesn't understand why i fancy this girl and not her. So i cannot talk to her when she is with her friends. Well trouble is i cannot talk to her anyway because i don't know what to say, i am one of those people that just blanks infront of girls, except on msn where i have time to think, it's wierd.
Have you very helpful people got any advice on how to get to know her more, how to talk to her more and stuff like that, because it seems hard to just blurt out a question that asks about her. for example. going up to her and saying "what's your favourite type of music?" just seems totally wierd so i don't know how to get to know her.
Thank you so much for any help will be really helpful. Cheers.
The trouble is i can never talk to her at school because 1. i am too shy to and do not know what to say to her and 2. one of her friends i think is a bit jealous and i don't think she likes me because she doesn't understand why i fancy this girl and not her. So i cannot talk to her when she is with her friends. Well trouble is i cannot talk to her anyway because i don't know what to say, i am one of those people that just blanks infront of girls, except on msn where i have time to think, it's wierd.
Have you very helpful people got any advice on how to get to know her more, how to talk to her more and stuff like that, because it seems hard to just blurt out a question that asks about her. for example. going up to her and saying "what's your favourite type of music?" just seems totally wierd so i don't know how to get to know her.
Thank you so much for any help will be really helpful. Cheers.
Just say 'hi, how are you doing?' then maybe things will go from there. Don't plan out the conversation; it would sound fake.
Sezkin
If you can't talk to her at school, just use MSN to get to know her. Me and my ex asked each other questions over msn to get to know each other, like about music and films and family, or just really random stuff like do you sing in the shower, etc. The more you get to know her the easier it will get to talk to her at school, or you could try asking her to hang out after school or at weekends, just casually.
Reply 3
tell this girl over msn that you are a quieter person face to face, then she'll make allowances for it - I wouldn't be surprised if she says the same thing, many people are at your age
when you see her dont stress if the conversation seems a bit static at first, it will improve with time and practice as you become more comfortable with each other - just say you'd like to spend a bit of time talking to her properly face to face as part of the getting to know process
when you see her dont stress if the conversation seems a bit static at first, it will improve with time and practice as you become more comfortable with each other - just say you'd like to spend a bit of time talking to her properly face to face as part of the getting to know process
Reply 5
Thanks for the replies so far people.
Sezkin, i just can't seem to face myself to do that when i see her in school, my stomach lurches because i get nervous when i see her, and when she is with her friends who i don't even know very much, it just seems near impossible. The only thing i can manage to say to her in the school canteen is "Hello, are you coming to the field tonight?" (she likes playing football). And i can only ask her that if she is sitting at the table right next to me.
Teh samby, yeah i find it a little easier to talk over msn but how would i go about asking those sort of questions? If i just ask them outright it will sound really strange.
MagicMedicine i have already told her actually than i am a shy person and she just said she didn't mind but i'm not sure if she really actually does mind or not.
Thanks for advice people, any more advice on these questions i have asked would be really helpful, cheers.
Sezkin, i just can't seem to face myself to do that when i see her in school, my stomach lurches because i get nervous when i see her, and when she is with her friends who i don't even know very much, it just seems near impossible. The only thing i can manage to say to her in the school canteen is "Hello, are you coming to the field tonight?" (she likes playing football). And i can only ask her that if she is sitting at the table right next to me
.Teh samby, yeah i find it a little easier to talk over msn but how would i go about asking those sort of questions? If i just ask them outright it will sound really strange.
MagicMedicine i have already told her actually than i am a shy person and she just said she didn't mind but i'm not sure if she really actually does mind or not.
Thanks for advice people, any more advice on these questions i have asked would be really helpful, cheers.
Anonymous
Teh samby, yeah i find it a little easier to talk over msn but how would i go about asking those sort of questions? If i just ask them outright it will sound really strange.
Teh samby, yeah i find it a little easier to talk over msn but how would i go about asking those sort of questions? If i just ask them outright it will sound really strange.
Well when I did it we did it like we were playing a game, e.g. "okay, since we want to get to know each other better, how about we take it in turns to ask each other stuff? it can be anything at all..." It might sound strange but it works!
Reply 8
It sounds like you're already SOMEWHERE with getting to know her... at least you both know you're inclined, so that's a step forward!
If she wants to get to know you, don't think she'll give up soon. But don't make her wait forever, either. Quite honestly, if she likes you and WANTS to get to know you, there are no rules. You can be random, it's ok. ask her bizarre questions (bizarre excluding ANYTHING sexual or pervy... but you knew that). in fact, if it's slightly out of the ordinary, it's better because it's exciting and new. that's how beginning of relationships are: exciting and new, and almost anything -as long as decent- is fresh and a good omen.
And keep in mind that she might be just as freaked out as you are (just hiding it better!). Her friends seem daunting... when she's in a group, go up to her and tap her shoulder (lightly!) and ask her a class related question as an excuse to speak with her. maybe her friends will keep walking forward, so then she'll be alone. if that's the case, ask her whether she's free that afternoon. you said she goes to the field often? maybe you can offer to go for coffee right after, just for an hour or so, casual. choose somewhere you're comfortable.
if they DON'T walk forward, maybe if YOU start walking away a little bit, she'll follow you and you can continue the conversation. or just quietly ask her to move away from them a bit so you can talk.
if her friends are jealous... that's ok! in fact, it's actually BETTER. you can bet your [butt] she's probably DOUBLY flattered by your attentions because of it! She got the guy, not them! So make it to your advantage: you have every right to like her, you shouldn't feel guilty for not choosing her friends, and she's worth every bit of your attention!
anyways, this is long... but if you ever feel like the awkwardness will never end, let me reassure you: it will. it's GOING to be uncomfortable in the beginning, but it's worth every moment that WON'T be uncomfortable. you've just got to make that first step and realise you don't look like a fool doing it. even if you stumble and go bright red in the face, you're NOT looking like a fool, you're making her feel better (because she realises she's not alone in being nervous) and more inclined to help you (by accepting your invitation!). besides, she'll probably be so nervous herself wondering if she's acting the right way that she won't even notice.
If she wants to get to know you, don't think she'll give up soon. But don't make her wait forever, either. Quite honestly, if she likes you and WANTS to get to know you, there are no rules. You can be random, it's ok. ask her bizarre questions (bizarre excluding ANYTHING sexual or pervy... but you knew that). in fact, if it's slightly out of the ordinary, it's better because it's exciting and new. that's how beginning of relationships are: exciting and new, and almost anything -as long as decent- is fresh and a good omen.
And keep in mind that she might be just as freaked out as you are (just hiding it better!). Her friends seem daunting... when she's in a group, go up to her and tap her shoulder (lightly!) and ask her a class related question as an excuse to speak with her. maybe her friends will keep walking forward, so then she'll be alone. if that's the case, ask her whether she's free that afternoon. you said she goes to the field often? maybe you can offer to go for coffee right after, just for an hour or so, casual. choose somewhere you're comfortable.
if they DON'T walk forward, maybe if YOU start walking away a little bit, she'll follow you and you can continue the conversation. or just quietly ask her to move away from them a bit so you can talk.
if her friends are jealous... that's ok! in fact, it's actually BETTER. you can bet your [butt] she's probably DOUBLY flattered by your attentions because of it! She got the guy, not them! So make it to your advantage: you have every right to like her, you shouldn't feel guilty for not choosing her friends, and she's worth every bit of your attention!
anyways, this is long... but if you ever feel like the awkwardness will never end, let me reassure you: it will. it's GOING to be uncomfortable in the beginning, but it's worth every moment that WON'T be uncomfortable. you've just got to make that first step and realise you don't look like a fool doing it. even if you stumble and go bright red in the face, you're NOT looking like a fool, you're making her feel better (because she realises she's not alone in being nervous) and more inclined to help you (by accepting your invitation!). besides, she'll probably be so nervous herself wondering if she's acting the right way that she won't even notice.
Reply 9
Approach, and go out with, other girls. You're most probably already in the friend-zone.
The only way out = jealousy & "what's he hiding" plotlines that you can install.
The only way out = jealousy & "what's he hiding" plotlines that you can install.
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