Turn on thread page Beta
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 2ndClass)
    I'm sure neither me or the her "boyfriend" are crying themselves to sleep because of this preference. In actuality it just shows how desperate you are. Old fashioned? meh so be it. And you are white knighting, even when girls themselves agree with that said preference you're still trying to wriggle out Excalibur.
    Its an excellent means of self-selection, if a guy is actively put off by a girl that actively enjoys sex, it not only tells you something about his own psychological sexual inadequacies, but he deserves everything he's going to get later on. Its amazing how many guys are actually terrified of meeting a girl who actually enjoys sex. Poor scared little boys.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by py0alb)
    Its an excellent means of self-selection, if a guy is actively put off by a girl that actively enjoys sex, it not only tells you something about his own psychological sexual inadequacies, but he deserves everything he's going to get later on. Its amazing how many guys are actually terrified of meeting a girl who actually enjoys sex. Poor scared little boys.
    What's he going to get?, not her? well that's certainly not a loss to him. And I think we can safely discern between "psychological sexual inadequacies" ( :rolleyes: )and moral preferences. And he wasn't terrified, he just doesn't see her as relationship material. I was actually reading this the other day, I think it rings true tbh
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 2ndClass)
    What's he going to get?, not her? well that's certainly not a loss to him. And I think we can safely discern between "psychological sexual inadequacies" ( :rolleyes: )and moral preferences. And he wasn't terrified, he just doesn't see her as relationship material. I was actually reading this the other day, I think it rings true tbh

    If you think a girl enjoying sex means she is no longer "relationship material" then you're not only a hypocrite, but you're also going to have some ****ing **** sexless relationships.

    Please, don't let me get in your way on the way back to the 1950s.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by py0alb)
    If you think a girl enjoying sex means she is no longer "relationship material" then you're not only a hypocrite, but you're also going to have some ****ing **** sexless relationships.

    Please, don't let me get in your way on the way back to the 1950s.
    Oh is there hypocrisy amongst men? absolutely, does it change a single thing? afraid not..... The world is unequal and we're all held to double standards. Though I'm not a hypocrite and don't do the ONS stuff.

    But yes, the world needs a lot of less of us old fashioned ghouls and more of you modern manginas.

    What's the divorce rate again?
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    Well me and my girlfriend had sex before our first date, and are still together after nearly 20 months, so I don't think it's necessarily a problem. However, when I told my friends I was going on a date (well, for a pint) with a ONS girl, most of them said they found that strange. Statistically, it's probably a bad idea if you are looking for a long term thing, but there are a lot of guys out there who aren't judgemental about these things. You wanted to have sex and it it felt right- I respect that, if there is one area of our lives where we should go with our hearts over our heads, surely it's our love lives?

    On the other hand, you are clearly a worrier, and I don't know if the likely drama this approach will lead to is going to be fun for you. It's your decision, just don't let the sexist hypocritical ****ers, who hark back to the glory years when women would stay in abusive marriages because of the brutal social stigma around divorce, influence it.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 2ndClass)
    Oh is there hypocrisy amongst men? absolutely, does it change a single thing? afraid not..... The world is unequal and we're all held to double standards. Though I'm not a hypocrite and don't do the ONS stuff.

    But yes, the world needs a lot of less of us old fashioned ghouls and more of you modern manginas.

    What's the divorce rate again?
    Woh woh woh, don't try to normalise your personal level of hypocrisy and misogyny by claiming that its a common phenomenon.

    Its really not. Most men grow out of virgin obsessing around the age of 16, or at the very latest when they get laid. The majority of the rest either end up getting arrested for child grooming, or hopefully restrict themselves to making bitter posts on TSR about how empowered sexually active women are "not relationship material".
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by py0alb)
    Woh woh woh, don't try to normalise your personal level of hypocrisy and misogyny by claiming that its a common phenomenon.

    Its really not. Most men grow out of virgin obsessing around the age of 16, or at the very latest when they get laid. The majority of the rest either end up getting arrested for child grooming, or hopefully restrict themselves to making bitter posts on TSR about how empowered sexually active women are "not relationship material".
    Except the girls on this thread, most guys and most importantly her 30 year old boyfriend agrees. Your white knighting is embarrassing and you won't win this argument no matter how hard you try to rep whore. Just give up already, it's getting silly now.

    :yawn:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 2ndClass)
    Except the girls on this thread, most guys and most importantly her 30 year old boyfriend agrees. Your white knighting is embarrassing and you won't win this argument no matter how hard you try to rep whore. Just give up already, it's getting silly now.

    :yawn:
    her boyfriend agrees the OP is not relationship material because they slept together on their first date?

    I think you need to carefully reconsider the logic of your post.

    Hint: "boyfriend"... "not relationship material"...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by py0alb)
    her boyfriend agrees the OP is not relationship material because they slept together on their first date?

    I think you need to carefully reconsider the logic of your post.

    Hint: "boyfriend"... "not relationship material"...
    So you're being pedantic now? could you get any more desperate? :rolleyes:

    whatever he is bozo
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    Well me and my girlfriend had sex before our first date, and are still together after nearly 20 months, so I don't think it's necessarily a problem. However, when I told my friends I was going on a date (well, for a pint) with a ONS girl, most of them said they found that strange. Statistically, it's probably a bad idea if you are looking for a long term thing, but there are a lot of guys out there who aren't judgemental about these things. You wanted to have sex and it it felt right- I respect that, if there is one area of our lives where we should go with our hearts over our heads, surely it's our love lives?

    On the other hand, you are clearly a worrier, and I don't know if the likely drama this approach will lead to is going to be fun for you. It's your decision, just don't let the sexist hypocritical ****ers, who hark back to the glory years when women would stay in abusive marriages because of the brutal social stigma around divorce, influence it.
    You say that, but of all my friends who are married or in long term relationships, I would say 80% of them met through ONS's as compared to old fashioned courting over the course of three dates with a chaste kiss at the end of each one.

    It may seem strange to TSR's population of 20 year old virgins and assorted inexperienced but arrogant teenagers, but this is how dating works in the 21st century.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 2ndClass)
    So you're being pedantic now? could you get any more desperate? :rolleyes:

    whatever he is bozo
    Its not really being pedantic, its just demonstrating that you're quite patently talking self-contradictory nonsense.

    No-one here agrees with you.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by py0alb)
    Its not really being pedantic, its just demonstrating that you're quite patently talking self-contradictory nonsense.

    No-one here agrees with you.
    ok

    :yy:
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by py0alb)
    You say that, but of all my friends who are married or in long term relationships, I would say 80% of them met through ONS's as compared to old fashioned courting over the course of three dates with a chaste kiss at the end of each one.

    It may seem strange to TSR's population of 20 year old virgins and assorted inexperienced but arrogant teenagers, but this is how dating works in the 21st century.
    I think that's unusual, most couples seem to meet through friends, and most ONS's are had with the mutual understanding that there is unlikely to be further contact. Of course, there's a difference between a ONS from a nightclub, I mean once I had a girl come back with me after five minutes (not meaning to brag. Well maybe slightly, but she was crazy) of meeting her, and going on a proper date that ends in a shag, like the thread starter.

    Well as this is The STUDENT Room, I think people are more interested in how things work for people who are teenage/early twenties, than older people, which I believe you are.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    I think that's unusual, most couples seem to meet through friends, and most ONS's are had with the mutual understanding that there is unlikely to be further contact. Of course, there's a difference between a ONS from a nightclub, I mean once I had a girl come back with me after five minutes (not meaning to brag. Well maybe slightly, but she was crazy) of meeting her, and going on a proper date that ends in a shag, like the thread starter.

    Well as this is The STUDENT Room, I think people are more interested in how things work for people who are teenage/early twenties, than older people, which I believe you are.
    Yes, but the relationships I'm talking about all started at university.

    By ONS, I simply meant any occasion when two people have sex upon a first proper meeting.

    Therefore I would quibble with two things:

    Just because you are introduced by friends does not mean its not still a ONS if you only have sex with them once.

    It is not my experience at all that "most ONS's" start with the understanding that there is unlikely to be further contact. In fact, quite the opposite. If the sex is any good and the attraction was mutual, its likely that at least one partner will be interested in continuing the relationship.

    Put it like this: statistically the earlier on in a relationship couples sleep together, the more likely the relationship will become long term.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by py0alb)
    Yes, but the relationships I'm talking about all started at university.

    By ONS, I simply meant any occasion when two people have sex upon a first proper meeting.

    Therefore I would quibble with two things:

    Just because you are introduced by friends does not mean its not still a ONS if you only have sex with them once.

    It is not my experience at all that "most ONS's" start with the understanding that there is unlikely to be further contact. In fact, quite the opposite. If the sex is any good and the attraction was mutual, its likely that at least one partner will be interested in continuing the relationship.

    Put it like this: statistically the earlier on in a relationship couples sleep together, the more likely the relationship will become long term.
    I think I'd agree with that. My boyfriend of over a year was meant to be my FWB....... it escalated :L
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by py0alb)
    No offence, but are you a virgin? Its just that the only people who ever seem to care about such weird considerations are virgins.

    Now whether they're weird because they're virgins, or virgins because they're weird, I couldn't tell you.


    You meet the funniest, sexiest, smartest, nicest girl in the world and she wants to date you. Oh wait, she's not a fellow virgin. Images of porridge and rice pudding flood your mind like blood out of the elevator in The Shining. Nevermind then, back to mum's basement.
    Some offence taken.... i'm not a virgin, and although i see what you mean. I was talking more about dating a girl who has had sex with many many people, some of which i could know. This is when it becomes a problem.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Worst case scenario is that he does turn out to be a player/jerk then you can try thinking of the 'event' in a more positive light. You've learnt from your mistake and you can try thinking of it as an interesting story to tell your close friends.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by py0alb)
    It may seem strange to TSR's population of 20 year old virgins and assorted inexperienced but arrogant teenagers, but this is how dating works in the 21st century.
    I am a teenager, and I may be inexperienced but I wouldn't say arrogant. I mostly agree with what you are saying but I think it is unfair for you to be prejudiced against "20 year old virgins" and teenagers.

    I think it is great for a woman to be confident in herself sexually but definitely should not be expected to have sex on the first date (neither should men). It should be a decision made by those involved and not influenced entirely by tradition or new ways of thinking.

    To all those people saying they wouldn't want a long term relationship with someone they slept with on the first date should realise that they also had sex on the first date! What makes you different? If having sex on the first date colours your opinion of a woman so much then maybe you shouldn't let things go that way! What about there opinions of you, do you assume that just because you are a man that you should be in charge?



    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Bipolarb3ar)
    Some offence taken.... i'm not a virgin, and although i see what you mean. I was talking more about dating a girl who has had sex with many many people, some of which i could know. This is when it becomes a problem.
    WHY does it become a problem? Do you constantly think about man porridge whilst you're having sex with this girl? Do you secretly think about porridge a lot in general? Do you eat porridge? What do you imagine you're eating?

    I wouldn't find it a problem. Why would I? Its 2013, not 1913.

    Surely there are more important attributes to judge a girl on than her sexual history.
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by py0alb)
    WHY does it become a problem? Do you constantly think about man porridge whilst you're having sex with this girl? Do you secretly think about porridge a lot in general? Do you eat porridge? What do you imagine you're eating?

    I wouldn't find it a problem. Why would I? Its 2013, not 1913.

    Surely there are more important attributes to judge a girl on than her sexual history.
    Not as much sexual history as morals, i wouldnt want to be with a girl that has had a full rugby team at once, its just not the sort of girl i go for, if you like the town bike then thats your choice, it worked for your dad...


    For the record i eat toast.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 3, 2013
Poll
Do you think parents should charge rent?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.