Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

I don't think my friend likes me anymore, should i stop trying to make an effort?? Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I was at this high school from 1st year until 5th year (my GCSE's) and became good friends with a guy i knew from my primary school. I was in a group of friends but he was one of my best mates during school at this time and we always had a good laugh together, we occasionally went out with each other during weekends, to the cinema and stuff but he wasn't the kind of guy that liked going out to much so it was difficult to persuade him the odd time. Anyway i didn't do that well in my GCSE's in 5th year and didn't get the grades to get back into this school so i had to move schools to do my A Levels. I told him i would keep in touch and he agreed along with my other mates that we would still see each other outside of school .

    Since i left the high school (In August 2011) i have seen him 3 times. One of these times was when i came across him at a university open day and we just had a quick chat, other times he went to the cinema with me and some other mates, however i often try to contact him on Facebook to organise stuff and he doesn't bother messaging back that much. With this new facebook chat thing, i can see that he has seen my message but he never messages back. Yet when i looked at a photograph of another guy at my previous school (of him out with his mates during Christmas) he (my supposedily mate) commented saying "thanks for the invite". It just seems to me that he couldn't be bothered with me now i have left. Either that or he just contacts me back when he feels like it. It's quite annoying because he was a really good mate and i had a lot of fun with him. I still try and contact him on Facebook but he doesn't reply .

    Should i bother trying to keep on contact with him or should i just conccentrate on my new mates in my current school (who reply to me and who i am going out with this weekend). It is frustrating because i want to stay friends with him but he obviously doesn't with me, what do you think?? What would you do??
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Aaron9890)
    I was at this high school from 1st year until 5th year (my GCSE's) and became good friends with a guy i knew from my primary school. I was in a group of friends but he was one of my best mates during school at this time and we always had a good laugh together, we occasionally went out with each other during weekends, to the cinema and stuff but he wasn't the kind of guy that liked going out to much so it was difficult to persuade him the odd time. Anyway i didn't do that well in my GCSE's in 5th year and didn't get the grades to get back into this school so i had to move schools to do my A Levels. I told him i would keep in touch and he agreed along with my other mates that we would still see each other outside of school .

    Since i left the high school (In August 2011) i have seen him 3 times. One of these times was when i came across him at a university open day and we just had a quick chat, other times he went to the cinema with me and some other mates, however i often try to contact him on Facebook to organise stuff and he doesn't bother messaging back that much. With this new facebook chat thing, i can see that he has seen my message but he never messages back. Yet when i looked at a photograph of another guy at my previous school (of him out with his mates during Christmas) he (my supposedily mate) commented saying "thanks for the invite". It just seems to me that he couldn't be bothered with me now i have left. Either that or he just contacts me back when he feels like it. It's quite annoying because he was a really good mate and i had a lot of fun with him. I still try and contact him on Facebook but he doesn't reply .

    Should i bother trying to keep on contact with him or should i just conccentrate on my new mates in my current school (who reply to me and who i am going out with this weekend). It is frustrating because i want to stay friends with him but he obviously doesn't with me, what do you think?? What would you do??
    Don't worry about it and try have a good new year! It doesn't seem like he wants to bother anymore and may find it hard to say but you can make other friends. It's always hard to lose a friend but in life you will find they always change so just enjoy what you can and don't miss out on the experience with your new mates. Also don't take it personally as you have new mates who like you!!!!!!
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Some people are great at keeping in touch with people even though their social link has been disrupted (sounds like you're one of those - the people who will stay in touch via Christmas cards for years). Other people are terrible at keeping in touch if life doesn't keep them crossing paths with their friends (sounds like your mate is one of those). It doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't like you any more - just that he isn't someone prepared to invest in friendships when daily contact isn't presented to him on a plate.

    You could continue to make the effort, but it sounds as though it is already getting you down. Although I'm very good at keeping in touch with people, as I've grown up I've concluded that friendship needs to be two-way. It won't always be equally two-way, but I do need to see a bit of give and take. When a friendship has become a total one-way street I usually drop it because I find it hurtful when friendship efforts aren't reciprocated. That then gives me the time to invest my friendship in those who demonstrably want to be my friend.

    It's a new year - make this the time to do a friend-cull. You may pick up again with your mate if he decides to reply to your messages, or you end up at the same university. But in the meantime invest your emotional efforts into having fun with your new friends who actually know what being a friend means.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 1, 2013
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
    Useful resources
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.