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Meetin' up with Bf's mate

I like my bf's mate who also likes me back. I tried speaking to my bf telling him i wanted to break up, but he really likes me so he didn't want to do that. I told the friend that I like him and he said to me he can't go out with me because my bf won't take it well if i dump him and go out with him.
The thing is I want a secret thing to happen between me and the friend. How can I convince him? Should I play an innocent role or tell him the truth, that I want a secret relationship with him? I don't think this guy will mind the secret relationship as he likes me and clearly wanted me to break up with my boyfriend. How can I try and see if the mate will meet up with me?

Please don't tell me it's wrong, just try and give me advice if you can. Thanks.

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are you sure you'd be able to live with the guilt? i know i wouldnt, no matter how exciting it sounds
Reply 2
Your bf clearly likes you, and you going behind his back shows you have no real feelings for him, if you really cared for him, even as a friend, you wouldn't hurt him.

You tried to break up with him, and that didn't work, now that on his part is stupid. He should of accepted it, because then your just in a relationship which isn't really based on anything. Try to break up with him again, actually don't try, just do it, he has to accept it, he can't force you to go out with him.

If you really like his friend, then well AFTER you break up, you can take it from there, but really don't hurt him, and btw form what it seems like that boy doesn't seem much of a friend if he's willing to have this 'secret' relationship. In my opinion, boyfriend's friends are off limits! it's a 'no-no'! You shouldn't get involved! but hey it's up to you!
Reply 3
The friend is just scared of losing his mates if he goes out with me.. but if we have this secret thing then I'm guessing no one will get hurt? Will the friend think badly of me afterwards?
Reply 4
The truth always comes out in the end..trust me.
I don't know if he will think badly of you, as I can't talk for him, but I'm assuming he would, because I mean your basically cheating on your boyfriend with his mate! (sorry to put it like that, but it's true) and that sounds bad. He might think, if you can do it to his mate, then you can do it to him. Anyway, do you genuinly like this guy? or do you just want some fun?
Reply 5
I think i like him AND want some fun and excitement.(no not a sexual relationship i'm a virgin)
Reply 6
Hmm I think it's just a crush you got on him, and as you said you just want fun. In that case, why don't you just go out with some one else if your're 'bored' of your b/f, that way atleast you won't hurt him!
Reply 7
God, why bother if you don't want to have sex. There's no fun in a non sexual secret affair.
you gotta remember that your bfs mate will always choose his mate in the end, you may only want fun now, but if you start to feel somthing more, then your going to get hurt. and from what i know about boys (and thats quite alot since most my mates are boys), they aways stick together.
Anonymous
I like my bf's mate who also likes me back. I tried speaking to my bf telling him i wanted to break up, but he really likes me so he didn't want to do that. I told the friend that I like him and he said to me he can't go out with me because my bf won't take it well if i dump him and go out with him.
The thing is I want a secret thing to happen between me and the friend. How can I convince him? Should I play an innocent role or tell him the truth, that I want a secret relationship with him? I don't think this guy will mind the secret relationship as he likes me and clearly wanted me to break up with my boyfriend. How can I try and see if the mate will meet up with me?

Please don't tell me it's wrong, just try and give me advice if you can. Thanks.

Are you mad? Don't even go there, love. It'll all end in tears. These things always do. Go ahead and tell the mate if you want but if he says yes, run, he is obviously no decent mate and therefore will probably not be a decent boyfriend.
Reply 10
But the 'friend' asked me to go cinema with him a few days ago and said we're just friends isn't it normal to go out together? So what does that say?
Ok i know you didn't want people to tell you it's wrong and I'm sorry. I'm amazed to see hardly anyone has a problem with that fact that your asking for advice on how to cheat on your boyfriend! Who did he kill? He says he likes you so you should give him respect and at least break up with him before you start seeing anyone else. Many people would kill for someone to like them and hang on. Sorry, rant over, it just made me a bit angry. I would advise that you break up with your bf then start seeing the other guy, in secret at first perhaps.

Anyone agree?
Reply 13
St. Jimmy
Ok i know you didn't want people to tell you it's wrong and I'm sorry. I'm amazed to see hardly anyone has a problem with that fact that your asking for advice on how to cheat on your boyfriend! Who did he kill? He says he likes you so you should give him respect and at least break up with him before you start seeing anyone else. Many people would kill for someone to like them and hang on. Sorry, rant over, it just made me a bit angry. I would advise that you break up with your bf then start seeing the other guy, in secret at first perhaps.

Anyone agree?



I know it's wrong to do this, other people do too but I specifically asked them NOT to tell me this/have a go at me etc. Because I know what I want to do, and I just need some advice on how to go about it. What you are saying is right but I can't break up with my boyfriend now, and I really like the other guy.
yeh i agree with that totally with st.jimmy!
I don't think you DO think it's wrong, as you're seriously considering doing it. I'm not normally the preachy type of person but what you want to do is horrible. I'm quite shocked noone else has agreed with me. Maybe it is true that actions speak louder than words - I've never met you but I don't like you.
Anonymous
I know it's wrong to do this, other people do too but I specifically asked them NOT to tell me this/have a go at me etc. Because I know what I want to do, and I just need some advice on how to go about it. What you are saying is right but I can't break up with my boyfriend now, and I really like the other guy.



People don't want to give you advice on how to go about it, because it's such a horrible thing to do.

And why can't you break up with your boyfriend?? Do you actually think he'd prefer you to stay with him (to later find out you cheated) just because he likes you so much?

I get the feeling it's your own insecurities that mean you "can't" break up with your boyfriend.

Deal with it, and consider his feelings too.
Reply 17
Stop your posts now please St.Jimmy I don't need to hear any of that.
Reply 18
lmao. to the OP.

i have been there, seen it, got the t-shirt and his mate is definatly doing the right thing. so you want a secret thing, so what. life is full of dissapointments and if yer bf realli likes you, me MIGHT forgive you but he wouldnt foregive his friend and also his other mates will turn against him. you will also gain a very bad reputation and no you cannot keep it all quiet forever because it isnt hard to find out that something is going on if it was.

3 words. DONT DO IT
Reply 19
Anonymous
Stop your posts now please St.Jimmy I don't need to hear any of that.


it aint that you dont NEED to hear any of that because St Jimmy is speaking a lot of sense. its just that you dont WANT to hear it. you strike me as someone that always gets what you want withoutr any thought for anyone else. your bf should finish with you now because you obviously dont have the same feelings for him and just will end up hurting him