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I want this to work but hes not making the effort. Watch

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    I've been meeting up with this guy from Uni for about 2 and half months.
    We started out seeing each other, and kept it quite private so no one really knew. It started out quite casual too, but got more serious as we spent more time together.
    We've had a few disputes but not exactly rows over him making an effort, like not bothering to come round or reply to texts ect.
    Typical things girls moan about lol!
    We went home for Xmas but live just under an hour away from each other, so although I knew we both be busy with seeing old friends and family, (i also work) i thought we see each other a few times and atleast text.
    I've barely heard from him most the holidays, the issue isn't i miss him or i think hes wrapped up with other girls. Of course i miss him, but if hes with other girls i can't stop that being an hour away so i don't get jealous. It's just I'm not good at relationships myself, and tend to get wandering eyes and bored of people if they really put no effort in.
    Hes offered to come down to visit, then always changed the subject when I suggest it, so he hasn't been down except once when we argued and he wanted to sort things out.
    He said his phone was rubbish so he wasn't getting my texts, but now he has a new phone and nothing has changed.

    I don't want to sound like a moaning drowning woman, but theres only so many times Ill send a text or invite him over, before i just give up and call it off completely. I really am starting to like this guy, so I want to make it work, but I don't want to keep making an effort when it seems like he isn't bothered.
    He told me he likes me too...but all i ask for is a slight bit of attention.
    Am i asking too much?
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    You aren't asking too much, he can't expect you to continue liking him if he makes no effort to stay in touch or see you. Ask him if there is a particular reason why he doesn't want to come or suggest you go to him? If he turns that down for no real reason I'd be a bit worried...
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    If he's not putting the effort in then in all fairness don't put the effort in for him.

    A relationship is a two way street, give and take , if he's not giving...take yourself away.
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    I know petty games shouldn't be done. But if you like him and he says he likes you too then maybe give him a taste of his own medicine and not message him for a week. Maybe he'll make the effort when he realises you aren't. If that doesn't work either then just end it. There's no point in being in a relationship where you give more than the other person as it's likely it won't change further down the line.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's just I'm not good at relationships myself, and tend to get wandering eyes and bored of people if they really put no effort in.
    That's really not the impression you've made in the rest of your post...
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    Wow de ja vu... Having been in your position before I feel that there is not much else you can do other than perhaps back off a little and not pester him, might make him realise what he's doing! Though if he's like my ex he'll just dump you and then accuse YOU of not putting in the effort, when all you were doing was mirroring his behaviour in an attempt to perhaps make him happier and avoid being needy...:rolleyes:
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    He's not treating you right -_- why should you be the only one putting effort in? **** that!
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    Hey i would also agree and back up abit... But i think its cute that on the end he put effort to come and see u after an argument, dont u think tht shows he cares abt u? Boys are like tht..sometimes having a phase lol, and sometimes they dont even notice.. I would back up and see wht his next step is.. And i hope things settle done and then speak abt this topic.. Tell him wht u think and listen to wht he says.. I wouldnt jus break it of without having a proba talk with him, if he realy means something to you try to talk to him straight after things calm abit..


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