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I know my parents will hate my boyfriend so can I keep it a secret ? Watch

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    My parents are vile Its not because im a spoilt brat who doesnt get my own way its because my mum suffers from mental health problems. She has biopolar and depression and is prone to angry rages. She get verbally and physically abusive over the slightest thing. She is also very clingy towarsd me she has no friends what so ever she only goes out with me and she struggles to accept im 20 not a little baby. She controls every aspect of my life. When I was younger around 16 I rebelled this resulted in the worst few years of my life I was physically punished by my mum for going out and having a boyfriend I.e being punched, hit kicked, she use to find it funny when my brother would sit on me and punch me while i couldnt breath. She would go mental she stole my phone and text my boyfriend at the time pretending to me be saying I hated him she phoned up his mum and called her a chav and a gyspy. She then snapped my sim and broke my laptop and as a result i never spoke to him again.

    Once I hit 18 i realised I needed to do as my mum pleased or I was going to have to suffer. If i do as she says and behaves like she wants life is just about bearable however life as she wants is me sitting with her constantly looking after her and basically turning in the sad lonely person she is. At 18 I met this amaxing guy and when im with him i feel normal im happy and I feel so amazing seeing him is like my escape to paradise he treats me like a human he doesnt hit me or abuse me or call me names or tells me he wishes me dead, i love just sitting with him and doing nothing and feeling happy and content. I have never loved anybody or recieved any love in my life and im head over heels for this guy. Im 20 now and weve been together 2 years and I can see myself marrying him. The only problem is my parents dont know my dad does whatever my mum says and I know if i tell her I have a boyfriend she will flip and the abusefullness and making my life hell will start, i also know for a fact i will loose my boyfriend and i couldnt cope with that. I know she wont like him because :

    1) Hes 4 years older she will know we are sleeping together something she said she'd kill me if she thought id had sex
    2) He's from a poorer family and didnt go to uni yet hes in a job earning over 30K a year his family is not wealthy. My mum is a snob I wont lie we are rich my grandad pays for everything for my mum we live in a big house she drives nice cars but as a result she looks down her nose on anybody who doesnt livei n a big house and calls them peasents
    3) I think hes drop dead gorgous but I know as my friends have pointed out hes not exactly brad pitt hes a bit shorter hes got thining hair but i really couldnt care I know shed be cruel and horrible about it
    4) I know she will be nasty to him and his family and she will not accept it

    Im at uni and whhile im there i can have a normal life and normal relationship he stays over and its great at home though i cant she wouldnt allow it and I know if i told her about him she'd make me move back home nad not live at uni.

    I cant just tell her as I dont want to suffer the consquences but I do not want to loose the guy im madly in love with so I finsih uni in 2 years and by then will have saved enough money to rent somewhere hopefully and wont be financial reliable on my family and its then that i want to tell them about him when they cant stop me or hurt me because of it. At the moment i lie and say im working when i see him but im terrified of being caught and im feeling guilty because i know lying is wrong but i know what will happen if i tell them the truth. So do you think what im doing is ok would you do it if you were in my position?
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    If I was in your position I'd try move out in all honesty, your mother sounds a bit overbearing to live with it. But yeah I see no problem in continuing to date him, and waiting until you finish university and move out of your house to tell your parents. Best of luck, hope it all works out.
 
 
 
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Updated: January 1, 2013
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