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My date/ his new year resolutions...what does he mean? Watch

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    There was this guy I met about 5 years ago when I was 16 and at sixth form. He was older than me and left for uni before me.
    We didn't really know eachother to talk to but I had him added on bebo (social networking 4 years ago) and we use to talk a bit on there.

    3 months ago I saw him for the first time in 4 years on a night out. He reckonised me and even remembered my name. He invited back to his friends for a after party, nothing happened but he tried and I'm certain he would have, I had to keep on reminding him he had a gf. He'd been with her for 3 + years and they were at a on/off stage.
    About 2 months ago they mutually decided to break up, the romance etc had fizzled between them and they are now friends.

    Beween seeing him on the night out 3 months ago and now he's wanted to go out and been in touch quite a lot. It's taken me a year to get over my ex and I've only just got over him and started being interested in dating others.

    He asked me if I wanted to do something the other night and I decided to go for it...i sugggested we went for drinks and a walk and that's what we did. I could tell he was nervous, but he was also really nice and a lot better looking than I remembered. I could tell he liked me a lot, we talked about our messages we use to send when we were younger and jokingky proclaimed that he use to stalk my bebo. He was too nervous to show any affection, e.g hold my hand or give me a kiss. I ended up making the move and going in for the kiss when we said our goodbyes. He suggested that NEXT TIME we do something more fun, I agreed.
    He's 23 and doing his Masters, I'm 21.
    Since the date on Suday we've been texting quite a lot and had a few phone conversations.

    ---last night during our text conversation I asked what his new years resolutions were. He said they were all boring/awks like alcohol and studies... I asked what was the one which was awkward, it took me a while to get it out of him but he said the awkward new years resolution was about me but wouldn't tell me what. I jokingly said 'haha what is it?! To sh*g me' he said 'no not at all, I'm not like that...'
    what on earth could it be???
    I already told him mine on our 'date' try harder at uni, be nicer to my family and end contact with ex and that the third one was awkward...I didn't tell him what the awkward one was but it was actually to get a boyfriend during 2013, he presumed it was about 'one of my other boy's' which there isn't.
    I have a feeling hes eventually wanting a relationship, although I like him I don't really see that spark there but he is a really nice guy.
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    he's diving headfirst into the friendzone
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    He likes you and was garnering attention, most likely in the hope of some offhand talk about a relationship. As soon as you said 'no spark' and 'but he is a really nice guy', I can tell that a relationship probably won't work. I think you need to be express in your thoughts or it may be more painful and drawn out than it has to be! That's what sounds like the most reasonable explanation to me anyway. Good luck!
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    (Original post by ForKicks)
    He likes you and was garnering attention, most likely in the hope of some offhand talk about a relationship. As soon as you said 'no spark' and 'but he is a really nice guy', I can tell that a relationship probably won't work. I think you need to be express in your thoughts or it may be more painful and drawn out than it has to be! That's what sounds like the most reasonable explanation to me anyway. Good luck!
    Thanks for your reply. Twist of story and I don't know what to think anymore... I asked him today about what his new years resolution was about me he relied 'I was drunk, it was probably something rude' I wasnt too happy that his new years resolution was to basically sh*g me Im now presuming. I joked at about it at the time but, that's actually the case.. seriouslyyyy:confused:
    I went in a bit of a mood and he said 'I didn't say it though' and then 'Its ok to have the thoughts, just not say it' I was going on a bit and he started to ignore what I was saying, In all honesty I wasn't really explaining myself too good, I was also hungover and whining a bit...oops! As soon as I realised I'd been doing this I sent one last message 'I'm pretty sensitive when you say **** like that because of the way my ex treat me. Not replying and saying 'hmmm' when I confront it really isn't the best way to be if you are still wanting to see me again. Think its best if we end this conversation here...Still needing to pack anyway, such an unorganised explorer' (going away for a bit) he said 'I apologise, it was all meant to be in tongue and cheek.' and then 'Yes you do need to pack, time is running out'

    Should I be wary? Or am I being too serious?

    when we went on our date on Sunday he was hungover and first suggested something along the lines of 'im feeling pretty hungover, do you want to do something easy tonight, come to mine or go to the cinema etc'

    Thats not the first time he's mentioned me going to his too.

    I think he does like me considering 4 years ago he use to 'stalk my bebo'
    And he still remembered my name and face after 4 years of complete nothingness. But it has got me questioning his intentions. What do you think?
    I wouldnt introducing him to my family and see us going that far, ever.. but I could see myself liking him and just dating/ casual thing...
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    I liked the way you explained what Bebo was
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    "I asked him today about what his new years resolution was about me he relied 'I was drunk, it was probably something rude' I wasnt too happy that his new years resolution was to basically sh*g me"

    Yeah he doesn't mean it, if it was the drink he would have said it on the night. He's regretting saying anything in the first place and only said that to make you stop asking
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    Wait I'm confused, have you friendzoned him yet? If not, surely the guy you've started to go out with is right to want to sleep with you sometime this year? You're 21 for gods sake... :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Hal.E.Lujah)
    Wait I'm confused, have you friendzoned him yet? If not, surely the guy you've started to go out with is right to want to sleep with you sometime this year? You're 21 for gods sake... :rolleyes:
    Agreed that's the funny part, don't prat about with him tell him for goodness sakes , its unfair on him, don't lead him on. TBH he don't sound that great for a date but don't lead him on.

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    (Original post by Hal.E.Lujah)
    Wait I'm confused, have you friendzoned him yet? If not, surely the guy you've started to go out with is right to want to sleep with you sometime this year? You're 21 for gods sake... :rolleyes:
    I know but who basically says there nyr is to sh*g someone.
    I'm not against sex or a virgin, I just want to know what his deal is... I'm confussed.
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    (Original post by daisy136)
    I know but who basically says there nyr is to sh*g someone.
    I'm not against sex or a virgin, I just want to know what his deal is... I'm confussed.


    But he Erm.... Didnt actually say that... You made that part up...
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    (Original post by Hal.E.Lujah)
    But he Erm.... Didnt actually say that... You made that part up...
    Yeah he didn't deny it though.
    On the other hand I'm thinking that he just saying that, when he was drunk he said it's about me and it would be awks telling me, if it was sex he would just say when he was drunk.
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    (Original post by daisy136)
    Yeah he didn't deny it though.
    On the other hand I'm thinking that he just saying that, when he was drunk he said it's about me and it would be awks telling me, if it was sex he would just say when he was drunk.
    Hmmm, well its obvious he likes you, don't be like one of those people, tell him you'd never want that kind relationship with him its unfair on him otherwise.

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    (Original post by daisy136)
    We didn't really know eachother to talk to but I
    had him added on bebo (social networking 4
    years ago) and we use to talk a bit on there.

    I have a feeling hes eventually wanting a
    relationship, although I like him I don't really see
    that spark there but he is a really nice guy.
    Bebo wasn't social networking 4 years ago! :lol:

    Don't string him along. If you don't want a relationship with him just make it blunt. It hurts less when feeling have yet to develop strongly.

    (Original post by daisy136)
    I think he does like me considering 4 years ago he
    use to 'stalk my bebo'
    And he still remembered my name and face after
    4 years of complete nothingness. But it has got
    me questioning his intentions. What do you
    think?


    I wouldnt introducing him to my family and see
    us going that far, ever.. but I could see myself
    liking him and just dating/ casual thing...
    The part in bold. That's really not that special TBH.

    His intentions aren't clear but he might just be looking for some 'fun'.

    'I wouldnt introducing him to my family and see
    us going that far, ever.. but I could see myself
    liking him and just dating/ casual thing...'

    But if you could see yourself 'liking him' couldn't that turn into a long-term relationship and eventually lead to him meeting your parents?

    If you want a 'casual thing' then just tell him, most guys won't mind being FWB.
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    I really don't want to sound mean but despite the on/off thing, he was willing to cheat on his g/f of 3 years with you and you're naive enough to think he wont do the same to you?
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    (Original post by daisy136)
    Thanks for your reply. Twist of story and I don't know what to think anymore... I asked him today about what his new years resolution was about me he relied 'I was drunk, it was probably something rude' I wasnt too happy that his new years resolution was to basically sh*g me Im now presuming. I joked at about it at the time but, that's actually the case.. seriouslyyyy:confused:
    I went in a bit of a mood and he said 'I didn't say it though' and then 'Its ok to have the thoughts, just not say it' I was going on a bit and he started to ignore what I was saying, In all honesty I wasn't really explaining myself too good, I was also hungover and whining a bit...oops! As soon as I realised I'd been doing this I sent one last message 'I'm pretty sensitive when you say sh*t like that because of the way my ex treat me. Not replying and saying 'hmmm' when I confront it really isn't the best way to be if you are still wanting to see me again. Think its best if we end this conversation here...Still needing to pack anyway, such an unorganised explorer' (going away for a bit) he said 'I apologise, it was all meant to be in tongue and cheek.' and then 'Yes you do need to pack, time is running out'

    Should I be wary? Or am I being too serious?

    when we went on our date on Sunday he was hungover and first suggested something along the lines of 'im feeling pretty hungover, do you want to do something easy tonight, come to mine or go to the cinema etc'

    Thats not the first time he's mentioned me going to his too.

    I think he does like me considering 4 years ago he use to 'stalk my bebo'
    And he still remembered my name and face after 4 years of complete nothingness. But it has got me questioning his intentions. What do you think?
    I wouldnt introducing him to my family and see us going that far, ever.. but I could see myself liking him and just dating/ casual thing...
    It sounds reasonable to be wary over his intentions, but if you can never see the two of you going far, what would your intention for the relationship be? It would be wasted time which you could spend with someone you can potentially have a future with. It does sound like he has one thing on his mind though...
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    (Original post by ForKicks)
    It sounds reasonable to be wary over his intentions, but if you can never see the two of you going far, what would your intention for the relationship be? It would be wasted time which you could spend with someone you can potentially have a future with. It does sound like he has one thing on his mind though...
    I know, I think I've decided I'm not going to see him again... I dont really see a relationship with him anyway.
    Although we only had one date, how can people go from texting for months to nothing... Is it normal to get attached to some from simplying texting? Maybe I might just go casual with him...it's not like weve fallen out.
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    You seem to twist everything OP. First you used to talk to each other on bebo, then suddenly he was "stalking" you. YOU claimed his resolution was to shag you, he denied it, and now you're trying to make some issue out of it. You seem to be looking for a problem that's not really there. Issues from your ex perhaps? Either way it's a lot of hassle so, as you say you're not that into him, just leave it and spare you and him the drama.
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    (Original post by xmarilynx)
    You seem to twist everything OP. First you used to talk to each other on bebo, then suddenly he was "stalking" you. YOU claimed his resolution was to shag you, he denied it, and now you're trying to make some issue out of it. You seem to be looking for a problem that's not really there. Issues from your ex perhaps? Either way it's a lot of hassle so, as you say you're not that into him, just leave it and spare you and him the drama.
    When he drunk he denied it but then I asked him the next day what his NYR that included me and he said 'probably something rude' I had a little go at him, he wasn't denying it..and said 'you can think it...just not allowed to say it' ie having thoughs about ****ing me is fine but just not allowed to say it...hmm!
    Did I mention he cheated on his ex gf - they did go out 3/4 years and he was away at uni over the other end of the country and I don't know there previous relationship problems.
    I think I like the attention more than I like him. It takes my mind off my ex / we've were only going out 3 months and it's been 8 months since that and there's no chance of us getting back together.
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    (Original post by daisy136)
    I know, I think I've decided I'm not going to see him again... I dont really see a relationship with him anyway.
    Although we only had one date, how can people go from texting for months to nothing... Is it normal to get attached to some from simplying texting? Maybe I might just go casual with him...it's not like weve fallen out.
    Wait so one minute you say you're not interested, the next you repeat to us in painstaking detail a load of the things he has said to you, and now you think you're emotionally attached...
    There was only an implication that his resolution was to have sex with you, and why are you so het up about him expressing desire to have sex with you anyway? If you actually fancied him you'd probably have dismissed it as banter or flirted back with something equally suggestive. You can hardly get annoyed at that and then claim that you want to be 'casual' with him, and if you're going to be 'casual' with him you need to stop obsessing over everything he says.
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    (Original post by daisy136)
    When he drunk he denied it but then I asked him the next day what his NYR that included me and he said 'probably something rude' I had a little go at him, he wasn't denying it..and said 'you can think it...just not allowed to say it' ie having thoughs about Fu*cking me is fine but just not allowed to say it...hmm!
    Did I mention he cheated on his ex gf - they did go out 3/4 years and he was away at uni over the other end of the country and I don't know there previous relationship problems.
    I think I like the attention more than I like him. It takes my mind off my ex / we've were only going out 3 months and it's been 8 months since that and there's no chance of us getting back together.
    Yeah I know right its evil that he tried flirting with you:rolleyes:

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