Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Hi,

    I am a male mature student aged 32 at uni and I seem to have (against my better judgement) fallen for one of the non-mature students on my course (who's aged 20) and I'm a bit conflicted about what to do about it. We get on well, have stuff in common, etc etc and I'd say she's pretty grown-up for 20 (a lot more than I was at her age) and normally I wouldn't hesitate in asking someone like her out.

    Having said that I really don't know what she'd say - probably no as I suspect she'd be out of my league even if you took the age gap out of the equation, although that wouldn't usually stop me as I think it's better to get rejected and move on rather than nurture an unrequited crush in silence.

    So, I just wondered whether people thought it would be appropriate to ask her out or not, and what they'd do in my situation...

    cheers mdears
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    She's 20 and you say she's mature. A 12 year age gap when you're both adults isn't really a problem in my opinion. There's no harm in asking her - as you say, you'll regret it if you don't.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Go for it.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Rascacielos)
    She's 20 and you say she's mature. A 12 year age gap when you're both adults isn't really a problem in my opinion. There's no harm in asking her - as you say, you'll regret it if you don't.
    Thanks for the reply - assuming I ask her out, if you were in her situation and you weren't interested, how do you think you'd react? I really don't want to get a reputation as a kind of sleazy older dude hitting on the young students which I guess if she took it the wrong way would be how it looked.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ansolon)
    Thanks for the reply - assuming I ask her out, if you were in her situation and you weren't interested, how do you think you'd react? I really don't want to get a reputation as a kind of sleazy older dude hitting on the young students which I guess if she took it the wrong way would be how it looked.
    It depends on what basis I'm not interested. I've been asked out (of sorts!) by someone much older than me before - but he did act like a sleazy older dude hitting on young students (I don't think asking me which underwear I'm currently wearing is a great start to a serious relationship!) - so that's why I wasn't too keen and didn't react all that well when he kept pestering me.

    But if you ask her out politely, gentlemanly and seriously (not too much to ask, I hope!) and don't give any hint of being a sleazy older bloke looking for a quickie with a young[er] girl, then I don't think she would have any reason to turn you down on that basis, let alone start spreading rumours about you.

    Of course she might still turn you down without thinking you're a sleazeball but everyone faces that possibility!

    In short, if I were her, I would treat you just as I do any other guy who asks me out... Fairly and definitely no rumours. But obviously you know much more about her than I do. She might react differently but that's a risk you have to take.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 2, 2013
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Did TEF Bronze Award affect your UCAS choices?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.