Why can't other guys just accept...

When I'm chattin to my friends, they can boast a lot about how many girls they've "had" and when I tell them I'm a virgin they just look at me like I'm some sorta alien. Unlike most guys I don't need sex to keep me happy etc. prob coz I have a low sex drive or something, but they think they're comforting me by saying that yeah I'll get a girlfriend and have sex if I just go to parties with them , but it just pisses me off since I don't want that, and they odn't seem to understand that life's more than just gettin laid and they always point out the girls they have had sex with and rate them with each other. Maybe I should just get some new friends because these people are considered the "cool" people and they really are starting to make me pissed off and their so shallow and annoying. Seems like every other guy I talk to is like this and I cant really find a decent guy friend whos into philosophy and actually has a personality.
Sorry this was just a general rant, any other guys in this situation?

Cheers.

Reply 1

SciFi25

1

Its life, its what guys do!!

Reply 2

That artistic one

1

im not a guy! but im just curious, how did u get in2 the 'cool' group of people? i never was in that group and never wanted to be. i just feel most of those type of people are idiots, unless like you they dont really fit into that group.

Reply 3

Shakespeare1

11

sex is actually pretty good........philosophy in particular IS interesting but sex is quite important...ull be suprised....but i think you seem to be a nice lad - not shallow at all so thats an excellent quality to have- girls will love this but you should get some action!

Reply 4

Flank Runner

Good on you man, your right, i personnally hate it when guys start boasting about their 'conquests', you are a fine individual and will find an equally fine young lady, when you are both ready, so just take your time and live life to the full, sex isnt everything and to be honest its not all that good unless your doing it with someone you truly love, so tell those guys there immature idiots and need to get a life

Reply 5

Ili

13

Anonymous

When I'm chattin to my friends, they can boast a lot about how many girls they've "had" and when I tell them I'm a virgin they just look at me like I'm some sorta alien. Unlike most guys I don't need sex to keep me happy etc. prob coz I have a low sex drive or something, but they think they're comforting me by saying that yeah I'll get a girlfriend and have sex if I just go to parties with them , but it just pisses me off since I don't want that, and they odn't seem to understand that life's more than just gettin laid and they always point out the girls they have had sex with and rate them with each other. Maybe I should just get some new friends because these people are considered the "cool" people and they really are starting to make me pissed off and their so shallow and annoying. Seems like every other guy I talk to is like this and I cant really find a decent guy friend whos into philosophy and actually has a personality.
Sorry this was just a general rant, any other guys in this situation?

Cheers.

It's hard to find decent guys like you. I actually prefer guys that I can talk to about life and argue about certain issues. You sound like a really cool guy for not being shallow, and whoa...you're into philosophy?! that's great stuff. reminds me of what we do in TOK.

With regards to your friends, well you can't do anything about it. It's difficult to change a person and even if you do manage to change one, it's really rare. Why not try and change their views about "girls" and "sex" by using your own philosophical arguments? That might do the trick, and it might put some sense into them.

Reply 6

*sazzy*

You sound like a really great guy i have to say, most of the ones i know are like your "friends", except for the odd exceptions of course :rolleyes:

But seriously, the fact that you stand up for what you believe in and not just go along with what they say is great. Girls aren't just sex objects to be "had" and compared, and one day they'll realise that when no female will so much as look at them...

Anyhoo, just keep doing what you're doing hun, and the rest will just fall into place as people will actually respect you for being you...not just a "reputation" :smile:

xx

Reply 7

Eien

16

I'm in a very similar situation to you, and I despise the sex-obsessed culture, and because I never mention anything about me wanting to "get laid" or my sexual desire, most people seem to believe I am some kind of asexual freak. More mature people will value deeper, emotional connections between people (and not just for relationships!), where sex is not top of the agenda. The only opinions worth listening to are from mature, like minded people who can be true friends. I don't see why people view the opposite sex as some kind of unsolvable mystery where the opposite sex have different values, and one has to change their personality and "rehearse" ways to approach them - gender is a spectrum with mere tendencies, (with socially constructed differences, yes, but this is weakening in the 21st century) nothing more. When I sociall approach somebody, I approach them as the individual, not by the gender - if I don't know them, it will be how I initially perceive them. However, I constantly hear that men who are not obsessed with the "getting laid" type of sex are rare - is it really true that the true number of men who are not this way is THAT low?

Reply 8

fuglyduckling

2

Yeah - agree with you there. There's too much emphasis on 'getting laid' at uni. It doesn't offend me or anything, but I just don't subscribe to it myself ...

Reply 9

TomaDamons

i am also someone that finds talking about getting laid annoying as well. well i cant talk about getting laid as i am also a virgin. but when i have had anything decent with anyone. i have hated it when people ask me about what has happened with them because i just want to keep that sort of stuff to myself. i go to work where my mates are and they all ask me who i fancy. i trust them, i just dont wanna tell them.

Reply 10

Hana_1987

1

ah they're probably lying about the number of girls they've had..remember american pie? :wink:

Reply 11

zoea85

2

Hey, good for you for sticking to your decent values, don't change the way you are, its true that a lot of guys are just out to get laid, it is a real shame there isn't more guys that think the way you. I'm sure there are at least some like minded guys that you will be able to find to be mates with that won't be 'rating' their gfs against eachother cos I know lads can be lads that does sound a bit extreme, I would be mortified if any boyfriend did that about me! Just don't let them get to you and try to find some like minded mates that are a bit less shallow!

Reply 12

username54863

11

You don't have to play their game to be accepted, I wouldn't want to be one of 'da lads' though I'm not a virgin. Basically guys are bastards...

Reply 13

MagicNMedicine

20

mate half of them guys who are looking down on you are virgins themselves, I had some great stories of sexual conquests which I used to tell everyone while I was still a virgin, I'd done things in them tales which I've never dared to do since

Reply 14

strawberry

13

Anonymous

When I'm chattin to my friends, they can boast a lot about how many girls they've "had" and when I tell them I'm a virgin they just look at me like I'm some sorta alien. Unlike most guys I don't need sex to keep me happy etc. prob coz I have a low sex drive or something, but they think they're comforting me by saying that yeah I'll get a girlfriend and have sex if I just go to parties with them , but it just pisses me off since I don't want that, and they odn't seem to understand that life's more than just gettin laid and they always point out the girls they have had sex with and rate them with each other. Maybe I should just get some new friends because these people are considered the "cool" people and they really are starting to make me pissed off and their so shallow and annoying. Seems like every other guy I talk to is like this and I cant really find a decent guy friend whos into philosophy and actually has a personality.
Sorry this was just a general rant, any other guys in this situation?

Cheers.

dude, I'll go out with you. LOL. having slept with [insert number here] girls doesn't necessarily mean you're cool. I think it's even cooler when a guy tells me that he's never slept with a girl before because he can overcome peer pressure and demonstrates to me that he's strong :smile:

Reply 15

Ili

13

strawberry

dude, I'll go out with you. LOL. having slept with [insert number here] girls doesn't necessarily mean you're cool. I think it's even cooler when a guy tells me that he's never slept with a girl before because he can overcome peer pressure and demonstrates to me that he's strong :smile:

Reply 16

anjurdsg

11

if they make you feel uncomfortable ALL the time, you need new friends...

no seriously

these type of people can turn into a pain in the butt

i've had those type of friends before...and i had to change my friend circle to fit into a better one... to make things worse, it was a very small school with a small number of people ... so it was kinda hard to avoid them wherever i went :frown:

but i managed...

so first think about it, and let them go if you can..

Reply 17

puppy

Well they're teenage boys and teenage boys like sex and talk about it all the time so you will struggle to find friends at this age who don't. I'm 21 and still spend most of my time talking about sexs with my friends!

I still don't understand this 'well done for not caving to peer pressure and having sex' attitude. Surely it's a lot harder to have sex than to just not have sex? When I was a teenager I tried to get laid for years and it never happened- I had to wait 'til I was 18 because no one would have sex with me; that was nothing to do with peer pressure because my friends were pretty much all virgins and had no real interest in sex.

Reply 18

L i b

19

*sazzy*

Girls aren't just sex objects to be "had" and compared, and one day they'll realise that when no female will so much as look at them...

I think you're giving your gender far too much credit there.

Reply 19

strawberry

13

not really. on a scale of 0 - 10, I agree with her at 6

Why can't other guys just accept...

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