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Rejected a girl last night, feel awful.. Watch

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    Hi,

    Hoping to get a bit of advice,

    Last night i went to my local pub for a new years party. Ive been going to that pub regularly for like the last 6 months. I've got to know one of the barmaids quite well. I've never really flirted with her but just talked and cracked jokes with her every time i've gone in.

    So then last night, towards the end of the night, i was at the pub having a good time. I was drinking lots, buying this barmaid drinks here and there when i went to get a round in. Towards the end of the night she comes up to me and asks if i could give her a hand collecting the glasses from outside. I thought that she was just drunk and genuinely needed a hand. So i went out with her. Then without saying anything she just throws herself at me. Now, im not used to attractive girls throwing themselves at me so my first reaction was to question it. So i sort of kissed her back but then stopped and just made a stupid flippant comment about how i thought she had had too much to drink (which is weird considering i had had way more). Then she storms off upset and goes behind the bar and upstairs and that was the last i seen of her.

    Now i feel terrible, but also in what can only be described as a constant state of just cringe. How do you think i should approach this when (if) i next go back into that pub?
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    Depends if you want something out of it

    If in doubt blame the drink and say you panicked
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    do you want a relationship with her? pretty sure you can still win her back.
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    send her post it notes, oooh leave them all over the pub apologizing for being a absolute knob, I'm sure she'll come around..:L
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    No im not really looking for a relationship with her. Shes nice and attractive but theres never really been that sort of spark between us..
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    So do you like her..?
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    (Original post by -Fraser-)
    No im not really looking for a relationship with her. Shes nice and attractive but theres never really been that sort of spark between us..
    Oh...So explain it to her and say sorry. Nothing complicated I think.
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    Go to her house and tell her you love her and want to marry her and have babies together.
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    Say you got cold feet?
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    (Original post by -Fraser-)
    No im not really looking for a relationship with her. Shes nice and attractive but theres never really been that sort of spark between us..
    Could still bang brah, sounds like she wants you

    Tell her that you were worried she was too drunk and it wasn't what she wanted. Day dere white knighting will get you the poontang brah
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    (Original post by -Fraser-)
    No im not really looking for a relationship with her. Shes nice and attractive but theres never really been that sort of spark between us..
    in that case I don't think you should do anything. If you apologise then she might 'forgive you' and start coming on to you again. The only thing is it might be awkward if you go to that pub again..you could just not go there again and then you probs won't see her again.
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    (Original post by Londonburger)
    Oh...So explain it to her and say sorry. Nothing complicated I think.
    Its just going to be really awkward though, and i tend to shy away from awkward moments. Maybe i am over thinking it though.
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    A good explanation would be that she was drunk and as such you didn't want to react to it, because you know that drunk girls don't always know what they're doing. That would make you look respectable, assuming that you are and that's part of the reason you backed off. Say it like that, and you give her an opportunity to save face by saying that yeah she was silly, and she was glad you were looking out for her. Maybe try that. Try and make it into a little joke. It will at least dissipate some of the awkwardness.

    And do not worry. You have done a lot better than the sort of guy who would go along with it despite lack of interest. The fact that you didn't take advantage despite admitting she's attractive, means that you have some element of common decency.
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    (Original post by -Fraser-)
    Its just going to be really awkward though, and i tend to shy away from awkward moments. Maybe i am over thinking it though.
    You don't have any fault in this circumstance. But in the place of a lady, it must be very very awkward to be rejected. So just to be a gentleman, you can go to say sorry, or at least post a card instead.

    Or maybe buy her a drink next time when you be there.
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    (Original post by -Fraser-)
    Hi,

    Hoping to get a bit of advice,

    Last night i went to my local pub for a new years party. Ive been going to that pub regularly for like the last 6 months. I've got to know one of the barmaids quite well. I've never really flirted with her but just talked and cracked jokes with her every time i've gone in.

    So then last night, towards the end of the night, i was at the pub having a good time. I was drinking lots, buying this barmaid drinks here and there when i went to get a round in. Towards the end of the night she comes up to me and asks if i could give her a hand collecting the glasses from outside. I thought that she was just drunk and genuinely needed a hand. So i went out with her. Then without saying anything she just throws herself at me. Now, im not used to attractive girls throwing themselves at me so my first reaction was to question it. So i sort of kissed her back but then stopped and just made a stupid flippant comment about how i thought she had had too much to drink (which is weird considering i had had way more). Then she storms off upset and goes behind the bar and upstairs and that was the last i seen of her.

    Now i feel terrible, but also in what can only be described as a constant state of just cringe. How do you think i should approach this when (if) i next go back into that pub?
    Yeah.. well I kissed a few random girls last nite too, it was nye. But I didnt say to them " heeey girl, you look really pis**d!"

    Rookie mistake
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    Thanks for the advice, feeling better about it just getting if off my chest.

    I will go back in and apologise. But i dont know whether to say it was because i thought she was too drunk. I do have in my mind that i should never get with a drunk girl, but should that apply if im as drunk or even more drunk than the girl is?

    In any case i wouldn't of slept with her that night as i dont particularly find the idea of having sloppy drunken sex with someone i don't really know that well appealing.
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    (Original post by 100hundreds)
    Yeah.. well I kissed a few random girls last nite too, it was nye. But I didnt say to them " heeey girl, you look really pis**d!"

    Rookie mistake
    She wasn't just some random girl, and obviously it was a mistake. I wouldn't be on here looking for advice if it weren't.
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    Don't get too hung up on it. Even if you kissed her, it doesn't have to mean anything. But if you feel that you led her on, you could try and get across your shame about it in a light-hearted way. People don't always want to be reminded about scenarios they feel awkward or embarrassed about.
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    (Original post by -Fraser-)
    Hi,

    Hoping to get a bit of advice,

    Last night i went to my local pub for a new years party. Ive been going to that pub regularly for like the last 6 months. I've got to know one of the barmaids quite well. I've never really flirted with her but just talked and cracked jokes with her every time i've gone in.

    So then last night, towards the end of the night, i was at the pub having a good time. I was drinking lots, buying this barmaid drinks here and there when i went to get a round in. Towards the end of the night she comes up to me and asks if i could give her a hand collecting the glasses from outside. I thought that she was just drunk and genuinely needed a hand. So i went out with her. Then without saying anything she just throws herself at me. Now, im not used to attractive girls throwing themselves at me so my first reaction was to question it. So i sort of kissed her back but then stopped and just made a stupid flippant comment about how i thought she had had too much to drink (which is weird considering i had had way more). Then she storms off upset and goes behind the bar and upstairs and that was the last i seen of her.

    Now i feel terrible, but also in what can only be described as a constant state of just cringe. How do you think i should approach this when (if) i next go back into that pub?
    She's going to be more embarrassed than you, on the off chance she brings it up just say it took you by surprise.
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    Just hope you don't get too worried about this. Let's imagine that you did really kiss her. That still would not be about you giving her a guarantee of your interest. It is each person's responsibility to find out where someone stands before jumping on them, or else be prepared to face the consequences. Be respectful to her and nip it in the bud if she seems too attached.
 
 
 
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