Hey all, I know that generally there is generally a negative stigma with ex partners, they are exes for a reason - because something didn't work out. And i've had talks for AGES with friends and it makes *sense* to try and move on because there ARE plenty of other people out there. Now I don't by any means obsess over my ex, think about her over the day but at the same time, get the feeling that things were so nice when you were with them so why is it you aren't with them now?
Just trying to summarise my last relationship, we met up and it went pretty well, but it was a LDR. I did visit every 2 weeks generally though for a couple days so I did what I could to see her and it didn't bother me at all. Emotionally we are different though - while she was very open about how she missed me while I was away, I can cope with distance - i'm a student so i'm used to time away and independence isn't a new concept for me - but I couldn't show this emotional side that she had because I didn't have it. Nonetheless, we were together for a good half year and I cared for her deeply - not meaning to sound arrogant but I was a good boyfriend; I always put her forward, tried to motivate her to do better and respected her. Albeit i'm a lazy individual which is a major flaw but we both kinda helped each other in different respects.
A first relationship for us both so it was a learning curve, but I got attached. Now my problem is *love*. My emotions baffle me in all honesty - I wanted to know how I felt for her. I cared for her so much and still do, always looking out for her wellbeing, but we just showed our emotions differently. I wouldn't say i'm a rock, I have no problem saying how I feel, but down to the gut, I don't know if I could compare to a level she was. At the same time, I always felt I wanted to be with her. But I didn't feel my heart sink when we parted ways from our visit - yet i'd always have her on the top of my priority list to make sure she's okay - just another reason I have confusion with my emotions.
Anyway, we broke up under pretty weird circumstances...it involved a misunderstanding acting as a trigger, a bit of emotional trauma under some other circumstances, and me being confused about how I felt. If I compared how I showed my feelings to her, like when we're apart - then how i feel seems insignificant. But if I compare how I treat her to *anyone else* - then would that be love? Felt alot about her and even got so comfortable with the family that it was like I had a second family...THAT close, was scary in fact.
But half a year on and it's been a bit weird. I supported her over the breakup since she had no-one else (weird I know, alot of stuff was going on). She's seen a few other guys who treated her like crap and in my eyes I too wonder why, makes her feel like crap about herself and wants me to be her hero I guess (nearly took that out due to cornyness but kept it in anyway) and take the place I think only I could really take.
We spaced out a bit, but always end up talking again and I guess I just want back to what we had.
Apologies for the wall...never any good at summarising...but will try.
With girlfriend for half a year, goes very well but ended up breaking up mutually. Supported her but spaced on and off for another half year. Still dormant feelings between both of us but we're both too aware that it could go either way and parents would be wary of course (her end, mine'd be fine probably).
What kind of experiences do you all have with getting together with ex's again?
I'm thinking i'd give it another year or two when I finish my studies...fix myself a bit...better myself...both live out our lives a bit, mature and see how things go then. We may meet other people but I feel like it's an option at least.
As a side...knowing people who can help me with these emotional confusions would be great too...basically looking for people who handle their emotions a little stronger better...and being with people who don't handle it as well.
Thanks and hope some people take the time to give an opinion.
Getting back together with an Ex / Confusing Emotions? Watch
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- 03-01-2013 19:36