I went out new years to a club. I got hit on a bit but I think its mostly because guys were a bit drunk, I had others grinding against me aswell.
I never know what to say or do - most were unattractive to me and mainly as I'm pretty tall and they were alot shorter, I don't have a boyfriend and I'm going back to uni soon anyway. I say 'I have a boyfrend' just to get them away - some go away straight away and others continue to grind and say stuff like 'I'm alone' and when I tell them the same thing they say you've already said that and continue grinding, I try push them away but then I notice them trying to get close to me -_- I wouldn't mind as much if I were with a bigger group but it was just me and my sister so it made things difficult. I just have this thing where I think guys just pick up girls in clubs to hook up for the night? I dont know if most guys are like this or some are just interested in finding someone they like, getting there number before doing anything drastic. I've never been interested/involved with guys (probably out of shyness but now a bit more confident) until now so I don't know about this sort of thing.
The thing is two guys approached us and one of them I found pretty cute, he was also taller than me Except of course I just thought that he was interested in hooking up so I was like I have a boyfriend and he was like oh okay but he was dancing with us and then his friend went off because I didn't find him attractive and neither did my sister. Then we were talking except I couldnt hear him half the time and we were laughing because we had to spell our answers in the air, anyway I felt bad for my sister cos she was just dancing there. He asked if my sister had a boyfriend (she doesnt) but I was liker erm yeah (it sounds mean but she is alot more naive than me and lets guys grind on her and stuff because she doesnt know what to make of these situations despite me telling her and i dont want her to be taken advantage of). Anyway so us 3 were sort of dancing and then me and the guy talked a bit though couldnt hear much and then he was like do you really have a boyfriend? then i panicked because i didnt really know what to say like my brain fastforwarded and i was like oh what if he likes me im going uni soon then i still wasnt sure if he was just wanted a hook up, and i did find him cute but dont know whether it was just because i had a bit to drink and then i was like arghh i dont know so i was like yeah then he was like well where is he? so i was like at uni and then he was like okay. Then i was confused and my sister was just dancing awkwardly while we talked so I felt like I was leaving her out so I said there's loads of other girls here aswell to him and then felt like poo because that was really rude and couldnt believe I said and he said that was quite rude and then I said. Yeah that was I'm sorry. Anyway he continued dancing with us.
Then I needed the toilet so I told him and then he was like can I have your number so I don't know why but I said yeah but I gave him my phone and told him I'd text him so he did, then I went off even though I felt really bad because I didn't give him mine. So reflecting on this I sent him my number soon after.
Anyway he approached us later on an danced with us again and then dance with somebody came on and he said oh one of you is going to have to dance with me so i was refleting thinking that i was being too flirty considering i had a 'boyfriend' so i told my sister to dance with him so i watched them awkwardly at the side. And she let him get really close to her - i.e leaning close and she smiled at him I wasn't jealous just annoyed because she didnt act like she had a boyfriend and then I was like oh hhe knows I've probs lied about having bfs then I felt bad because she doesnt have much experience with guys and it was a little bit of innocent dancing.
After though I think we went to get drinks - I can't remember what happened but yeah that was it. From the text he sent it said happy new year x so i sent happy new year to you too but didnt put a kiss at the end because I didn't know whether to? so put a smiley face.
I actually didn't think he'd text me or anything sfter but yesterday he sent me a text saying did you have a good night last night? x and i sent one back saying 'yeah i had a good time, did you? then put a smiley face because wasnt sure whether to put a kiss or not.
Can someone tell me if I approached this whole situation right? I don't think I did anything right but I don't usually get approached by guys I find attractive and I dont have enough experience to know how to tell what they want? Tell me what I could have done differently? I don't know what to do now? What if he asks me for facebook or something he's going to know I haven't got a boyfriend?
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Not sure what to do when approached in club - did approach this situation wrong? watch
- Thread Starter
- 02-01-2013 14:03
- 02-01-2013 14:05
Getting hit on in a club.
- 02-01-2013 14:41
You approached it wrong if you wanted something more to happen with him. You shouldn't have pretended to have a boyfriend. You could have just danced with him or kissed or whatever, you didn't have to sleep with him. He sounds like a nice guy.
Next time, just try not to panic as much.
- 02-01-2013 16:58
Generally speaking and it's a common if illogical problem, but acting like you;re not interested and finding ways to sabotage yourself does not lend to good flirting.
* Fanny-blocking your sister was mean. Trying to justify it is nonsense, if she is old enough to go to a club she should be old enough to make her own decisions, she doesn't need you policing her vagina.
* Your sister probably isn't naive, no-one grinds and does it naively.
* Of course guys are in clubs to hook up, but ironically the guys probably less likely to be creepers are the ones who didn't approach you/went away the moment they figured they weren't welcome.
* The cute guy was looking to hook up to.
If you're looking for throw-away flings, clubs are fine, if not, it doesn't matter if you didn't get with someone in a club.
- 02-01-2013 20:35
If you aren't interested in someone just tell them. If you had a good time and enjoyed yourself i don't see any reason why not to call him, go to a different themed place like the movies or for a coffee and get to know him better. If he turns it down then you know he's only interested in a hook-up