Ok so a new girl started working where I work about 6 months ago. At first I just ignored her because I thought I didn't stand a chance with her. Then one day I thought what the hell Iv got nothing to lose and spoke to her. During the first week of meeting her we spoke everyday and I had planned to ask her out but just before i asked her she stated she had a boyfriend for 4 years. Now everyday since that week we have spoken to each other for at least an hour everyday. When she went home to her own country for a week we spoke a lot more. I am sure this is because she wasn't with her boyfriend and when she came back to work she said she was happy to see me again. I am not the one who starts the conversation every time i would say i start the conversation about 55-60%. She has told me she likes speaking to me and says she wants me to go speak to her "just because" rather than if i need something.
As she is from another country she lives with her boyfriend over here. He is very protective of her and when i offered her a lift home from work and up to a shopping she could not because her boyfriend would not like it. When she went home for a week she told me about how she was not allowed to see any of her male friends without him and she wasn't allowed out to clubs without him. Even though i was speaking to her one night, when she wasn't "allowed" out because her bf wasn't going, and she couldn't get hold of her boyfriend until he turned up at 2 in the morning drunk because he had gone out without her. She wanted to go to London at xmas but he wouldn't take her, i offered but of course i can't because of him. She has once stated a good point about him, that he makes her laugh, this is the only time she has said anything good about him. She has also told me about when they were out one night he said to her face she wasn't as pretty as the other girls and called her fat. She told me that she thought it was great when anther guy came up to him and said "you don't deserve her". She also suspects him of cheating at some point, he wouldn't buy her some earrings for xmas because £30 was too much, but he brought himself a motorbike.
I have indeed brought her a birthday and xmas present. I got her a birthday present because he was on the verge of getting sacked at work and i hate seeing her sad. She is, in my eyes, the greatest girl iv ever met.
I have told her that many times and told her i was going to ask her out. I have told her all my feelings towards her and she loves it. She said that I am good looking, funny, intelligent and would make a great boyfriend and not to worry about her boyfriend because he doesn't care about her.
Now this is where it gets very tricky because she has been a great friend but i will always feel more than that. I can tell her anything and she has told me many secrets as well. Normally i don't speak to girls like her but something just told me i had to, now i wish i never had.
So do i keep on trying or give up, and how?! We work together speak daily, I think i will miss her greatly, also this is partly the reason I am applying to go to uni.
She has a boyfriend -_- Watch
- 02-01-2013 14:27
- 05-01-2013 00:38
- TSR Support Team
- 05-01-2013 00:48
She has a boyfriend so I am afraid you can't be anymore than friends with her.
- 05-01-2013 00:58
Kinda sounds like she just likes the attention from you.
If she was *that* unhappy about her relationship with him, she'd have done something about it by now.
I'd back off and let her come to you. If she doesnt, then you know she isnt really interested in that way.
- 05-01-2013 01:19
So... you've told her how you feel, she said you'd make a great boyfriend and don't worry about hers ... but doesn't do anything about it?!
She's stringing you along because she likes the attention. Back off/cut contact, tell her you don't want to be just her friend. She'll then be forced to choose.
... Unless you actually want to keep her as a friend?
- 05-01-2013 01:26
Steal her boyfriends motorbike. This will solve all your problems. And you'll have a free motorbike.
- 05-01-2013 01:32
Feel your pain son. We've all been there. Think we've met the girl of our dreams and it turns out she has a boyfriend. Sometimes, one would be forgiven for wishing that all boyfriends of the world would just drop dead. But that isn't going to happen, so you should move on, and not see this girl anymore. Don't let it drag down your 2013. Look alive sunshine.
- 05-01-2013 03:17
so what if she has a b/f? i got with girls who had a bf and so can u. its been 4 years, she mite be gettign bored or losing interest anywqays
- 05-01-2013 03:33
- 07-01-2013 00:04
Cheers for all the answers guys and girl.
I may just not speak to her for this week and see what she does but it's hard when I see and have spoke to her everyday.
I have thought about telling her I can't just be friends but she is a very close friend, but there of course will still be the fact I will be heart broken.
I think/ hope she is playing mind games but maybe doesn't know it. She said I don't have to worry about finding a girlfriend because i have found her. When I asked her about her marrying her bf she always says no, she wants to see what will happen.
Honestly sometimes I wish I had never met her, but she has helped me through some rough times with my depression.
**** it life's a ***** aye, hopefully I'll get into Uni and meet someone.