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    I was with my ex 5years (split up in March)- we had our ups and downs like most couples. (I was told a couple of times hed cheated but he always denied it)

    We went out for my mates birthday (as his mates and my mates wer all mates so we always went out as a group) had a silly arguement so i ended up going home - (he didnt come home that night) when he came home the next morning he told me it was over, his reason was 'he wants to be single'

    I was obviously upset that after 5 years his reason was he wants to be single.

    & now i find it really hard cos when my mates go out they invite his mates and him and tbh i really dont feel comfortable going out with him.

    My mates dont seem to understand although they have nothing to do with their ex's and never want anything to do with them, but expect me to have something to do with mine.

    A few weeks after we split up he was on facebook tagging his '**** buddy' on all his status's rubbing it in my face.

    But then when i met up with a guy when we were out and my ex was there they all had ago at me saying i was out of order.

    i have now been seeing this guy i met up with while we wer out but my 'friends' always invite my ex out and not this new guy..

    any advice?
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    **** ya 'mates' off

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    Get new friends tbh.
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    Your friends are ****. Really two-faced if they won't go out with their exes, yet expect you to. Should try looking for new friends
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    When they invite you out, bring your new guy with you. At least bring it up with them, if they are any sort of mates they will at least try to understand.
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    Think.ur mates are out of order and thoughtless

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was with my ex 5years (split up in March)- we had our ups and downs like most couples. (I was told a couple of times hed cheated but he always denied it)

    We went out for my mates birthday (as his mates and my mates wer all mates so we always went out as a group) had a silly arguement so i ended up going home - (he didnt come home that night) when he came home the next morning he told me it was over, his reason was 'he wants to be single'

    I was obviously upset that after 5 years his reason was he wants to be single.

    & now i find it really hard cos when my mates go out they invite his mates and him and tbh i really dont feel comfortable going out with him.

    My mates dont seem to understand although they have nothing to do with their ex's and never want anything to do with them, but expect me to have something to do with mine.


    A few weeks after we split up he was on facebook tagging his '**** buddy' on all his status's rubbing it in my face.

    But then when i met up with a guy when we were out and my ex was there they all had ago at me saying i was out of order.

    i have now been seeing this guy i met up with while we wer out but my 'friends' always invite my ex out and not this new guy..

    any advice?
    The key point here is that you and your ex have the same group of friends. Now that you two are no longer together, you want your friends to ditch their new friends and cut them out of their lives, the same way you want nothing to do with your ex. That is unfair. Yes you could say that they are your friends so should take your side but you must see it from their perspective. They don't want to upset your ex, who is also a friend.

    That's the trouble with sharing friends when you're a couple. When it's over - your friends have to take sides and they lose their friends too. Your friends see your ex as a friend too so when you bring your new fella along and he's there they would feel it was unfair as they'd think of him too.

    Yes he is parading his **** buddy around but that's very different to bringing him along to a gathering with your ex.

    Yes it could be double standards for them to expect you to be friends with your ex when they wouldn't. But they see your ex as part of the group and not just an ex.
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    I think your friends are being really harsh on you. I understand they don't want to get involved though, so can't you arrange to see them on nights without your ex being there? & similarly ask them not to invite you on nights out with your ex?
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    Ditch the friends.
 
 
 
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