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Confused...more than friends?

Excuse me for writing so much but I wanted to make sure I had all the details in here!! For 4 months last year I lived with two lovely brothers, D & B. Had quite the crush on D before moving in with him but knew I'd have to forget anything ever happening between us now we were roomates. I put all thoughts of it out of my head pretty easily as the three of us became good friends, I still very much enjoy D as a person tho.

D returned home after 4 months of us living together, he spends summer @ home and winter in the town where I lived with him & his bro. B & I lived together for another 2 months. During that time we became even closer & I got a vibe off him being interested. One time we ended up laying in bed together after a night out. We were clothed, fairly drunk & we'd smoked some pot, only the second time I've smoked it & I was really buzzed and giggly. We were chatting & he made a few suggestive comment & then admitted that he was sorta interested in me. I enjoy him so much as a person, had been kind of wondering if I could be attracted & was a bit lightheaded from the pot. We kissed & touched, him with his hand up my shirt a few times & a definite hard-on. Neither of us pushed to take anything further (I didn't want to damage a good friendship, altho maybe a biit late!) so we said our goodnights & went to our seperate beds to sleep.

In the morning he seemed a bit embarassed & apologised for being so forward. I told him it was no problem & to forget about it & it wasn't mentioned again in the next few weeks before he also went home for the summer, I doubt he told D about it, but I'm not sure. B & I have stayed in constant email & phone contact & I visited him for a few weeks, nothing sexual happened, we really enjoyed each others company, he was very considerate (more so than when we lived together), went out of his way to keep me entertained and happy & was often a bit flirty with me. He also told me whilst I was there that our friendship means a lot to him & I said the same was definitely true for me & that I really would miss him, as I have done since I left.

This winter D returned to town & B stayed home as he has a new job. D & I spent alot of time together in the past few months & have got closer. A week ago we were drinking together on the couch before going out & he was being fairly flirty. He was finding excuses to touch my shoulder, my arm, leg & so on. Then he leaned in for a kiss & we made out for a short while. We went out & had a great night, kissed once more outside the club & I took a cab home to my place (he offered to walk me home & I said I'd cab it). He has called me twice in the past week & we have hung out 3 times with no mention of what happened, but a bit more touchy feeliness than used to be there.

Now what I want to figure out is what I should do next. Is it disrespectful to B to potentially get involved with his brother D after something happened between us? Is it just a really bad idea to get involved with either of them because of our friendships? Does D actually like me or was it the booze? I feel guilty to have done anything with D after what happened with his bro. But on the other hand that was 6 months ago and he didn't make a move when I saw him in Jan. Advice, comments, observations all most welcome.....thanks for reading. Oh and I write as anon because B is a bit of an internet junkie & poss uses the forum.

Reply 1

strawberry

hmmm complicated. who do you prefer? or who do you like more?

Reply 2

Redefined

Well it seems things only happen when your all drunk. How do you feel about either when you are sober? I also think that you shouldn't worry too much about what you done with D after what you had done with B as 6 months is a huge amount of time.

However, I guess there is the potential of awkwardness there if you involve yourself in a relationship with one, but that totally depends on how the other feels.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

If I were to chose who I prefer I'd go for D. I've always had a bit of a soft spot for him, I guess crushes will do that to you even after they are done!

I absolutely adore both of them, whether I'm drunk or sober. They are very dear to me and I'd hate to damage that.

Also another thing for consideration..D & B have another brother living in town, R. R is currently dating B's ex-girlfriend and B is still a little grumpy about it deep down, although he'd never say anything to R. Does it make me a horrible person to repeat the same pattern all over again?

Reply 4

username54863

It's difficult to say without knowing you and them but to be honest it sounds like you like D more so go for it, I'm sure B will understand, though he may not like it, besides it may not work out, then he'll get his chance anyway.

Reply 5

Angelharpist

To be perfectly honest, you're best off not pursuing either of them. Wouldn't be fair on either brother. How would you feel if someone who once had a flirtation with you suddenly started chasing after your sister?!

Just don't do it... :smile:

Reply 6

ChemistBoy

Don't play them off against each other - this thing can have a massive effect on their relationship.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

I'm not playing them off against each other..I'm being as careful as possible not to ruin my relationship with either of them or their relationship with each other.

How would you feel if someone who once had a flirtation with you suddenly started chasing after your sister?!

Well how about a person I'd once had a flirtation with but was no longer interested in? I'm fairly sure B isn't interested any more, otherwise he would have made a move when I visited him. He did have plent yof chances. It's impossible to put myself into the situation & think like a guy about it!!

Anyone else have advice for me please? I'm still confused. Oh and D & I are getting together to watch a movie on Monday night. Should I back off? Confess what happened with his bro? Go mad?!!