Feeling down and letting people get to me

I've had a really rough few months, dealing with family problems, depression and very low self esteem. Lately ive been feeling better about myself but a few days ago I started feeling really low and ugly again.

One of my friends invited me to her birthday party and although not many people i knew were going to be there, I went anyway as Im trying to get out of the cycle of staying at home because i feel so bad etc. One of the blokes there was a real idiot, making very personal comments about everyone - it was obvious that alot of people were uncomfortable with it and were trying to avoid him. He was talking to one of my friends and asked how old we both were, and she told him that we're both 18. He then said loudly "oh really, your friend is about 5 years old than i thought! She looks 13/14". I pretended I hadnt heard but now its started making me feel insecure and horrible again. It didnt help that this girl, who is meant to be my friend, found it really funny and kept bringing it up and laughing at everything he said. I think its because she has a compelx about looking young herself so maybe it made her feel better?

I dont know why I let total strangers get to me like this but Im really feeling down now. I feel like nobody will ever take me seriously and that they'll always think i look really young. Im thinking of buying loads of new makeup to make myself look older. I just feel like never bothering going to parties or whatever again as someone will make a nasty remark. I just feel so low and i dont know what to do :frown:

Reply 1

freshestkid

1

**** em, people only say stuff like that because they're insecure and want to feel better about their own shortcomings by belittling others.

This friend of yours was obviously worried about what the ******** was gonna say about her so when he said you looked young she was probably really relieved and kept on referring to it to keep the focus off her.

It's a bitch when you get into a rut like this, but try and improve things for yourself, maybe by introducing something new into life (join a gym, go to dance classes, whatever) you might spark some more positive feelings, and a change is always good. It might help give you some more control over things, which in turn will boost your confidence. Good luck chick. D

Reply 2

PaddyK

I agree with freshestkid you should just think about yourself more. Just believe in yourself that guy has got to be really insecure to do that, and a real jerk.

Reply 3

Vampyrcorn

14

What he said was ridiculous anyway, when you look at 18 year olds they all look different it's near impossible to judge how old we are. I'm 18 and separate people have told me that I look 14 and 21. It just depends on what you're wearing or how confident you're acting I think.

Try not to let it get you down, what he said was stupid.

Reply 4

Kernel

1

He's not necessarily insecure, he could be trying to be funny. He probably wasn't being serious anyway, so dont worry aout what he said. And even if you do look 14, so what? At least you don't act it likethat guy.

Reply 5

freshestkid

1

Yeah, he was trying to be funny, but the way he went about shows how he truly felt. You will notice that confident people are funny in a positive way, maybe being self-depreciating as well. Those without some kind of axe to grind very rarely put others down to make themselves look good. Being funny and being a ******** aren't mutually exclusive.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks for the advice. Yeah he was trying to be funny but in a derogatory way (ie he kept making sexual comments about another person's sister who is disabled and has been bullied) which they really felt uncomfortable about. Bit of a nasty piece of work really.
I do feel better now though so thanks

Reply 7

Kate.

15

A couple of people I used to hang out with sometimes were like that, it really used to get to me, although I couldn't care less now...so I know how you feel. Don't worry about it, he's an idiot.
I'm 16 and don't really look that much younger than I am but most my friends look older than 16 - they can all get served for alcohol while I still get ID'd for fags - so it kinda makes me look younger, haha.

Reply 8

lou p lou

2

i know you have to try and ignore him, but i appreciate it's hard. i remember getting totally worked up when i got my nails done 2 days after my 18th and the girl constantly saying i had tiny hands and she thought i was about 13... let's just say i never got my nails done there again.

you have to try and rise above it, and just smile to yourself that in 30 years time they'll regret that they didn't look young.

lou xxx

Reply 9

puppy

Looking younger than you are isn't exactly a bad thing. I'd be flattered if someone thought I was that age. You'll be glad of it in ten years time.

Reply 10

love2learn

4

As everyone above said, ignore what that guy said. I'm told that I don't look as old as I am, which is a little annoying, but hopefully in 10-20 years time everyone will be jealous that you look so youthful!!!

If you feel low about yourself, getting to the gym makes me feel loads better about myself. It releases endorphins, which make you feel happy, and you can also gain more energy. Building up strength may also make you feel more confident.

Reply 11

GoldStar

I wouldn't worry about what some idiot says about you- he's an idiot and does it to everyone- so it's not exclusivly you. Also- what does his opinion count for anyway? Plus- if he kept annoying you it could have meant he just wanted to talk to you and could have fancied you- trust me- i'm guilty of annoying guys I fancy!

Feeling down and letting people get to me

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