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Girlfriend kissed another guy. Watch

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    (Original post by Jalk)
    Thanks for that. We will talk one day I'm sure and I'll take that on board. At the moment it hurts too much but I've been told she was caught crying in the toilets at work. Hard to stay mad when you hear that eh.
    Tbh, she also has the right to be upset - on herself. She must feel really bad, but she must realise that this has hurt you.

    I advise you both wait until you've calmed down enough to talk. It sounds like it's hurting you both a lot at this point, and at least from my personal experience, it's a bad starting point for sorting out things.
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    It's kinda nice to know she is hurting too
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    UPDATE! Sorry to bump this up but we met to chat yesterday.

    It actually went really well and I was starting to forgive her. But at the end she kissed me and pulled away after a couple of seconds or so. She said that was all that happened with the other guy.

    To me this missed the point that the main thing for me was that she initiated it. Although the fact that there was kissing hurts too. I feel like I am back at square one and had this talk too early, but I caved I guess.

    Sorry for ignoring all the advice, if you'd like to remind me why she's bad news that would be appreciated Thanks.
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    (Original post by Jalk)
    UPDATE! Sorry to bump this up but we met to chat yesterday.

    It actually went really well and I was starting to forgive her. But at the end she kissed me and pulled away after a couple of seconds or so. She said that was all that happened with the other guy.

    To me this missed the point that the main thing for me was that she initiated it. Although the fact that there was kissing hurts too. I feel like I am back at square one and had this talk too early, but I caved I guess.

    Sorry for ignoring all the advice, if you'd like to remind me why she's bad news that would be appreciated Thanks.

    To be honest, when kissing, a few seconds is a long time.

    Just go as you feel like you want to go on. If you need time off, tell her so. I suggest you have a lovely time doing something else, hanging out with your mates and such.
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    Hmm, well she was intoxicated? Obviously you have to ask her and yourself if she would do that when she wasnt under the influence. In my opinion, I would only dump her if the kiss meant something. Trusting her may be difficult though, and I'm afraid that might be the reason if a breakup should happen.
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    I think it's important to remember the sacrifice being made in a relationship with anyone represents. You could meet a girl far better suited to you nut be unable to act on it because of your commitment.to this person. To continue that sacrifice of commitment to someone who is clearly not afraid to take advantage of an opportunity will just send a message that you're her plaything.

    If you were drunk and met a gorgeous girl would you have kissed her? No, because you had a commitment to a girl who in your position would and did kiss someone else. Dump her before you waste more days of your life.

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    The only thing I think I can add is this:

    When deciding what to do next, ie: whether to stay with her or not, don't try and figure out if she is a bad person or not. I'm like the most anti-cheating person there is, like ever, and if anyone ever cheated on me our relationship would be over there and then (and this has happened unfortunately). But as much as being cheated on hurts, sometimes we get confused by thinking it must mean that the other person is a bad person yet we appear to have evidence that up until now they were a good person and it becomes kind of impossible to decide whether the other person is a horrible human being or not. In the end, I think some people just decide to give the other person another chance because they aren't 100% sure the other person is as bad as they ought to believe.

    Instead, I think a better approach is not to think about it in terms of determining whether your ex is a bad person or not. Assume that she isn't and that what she did was just a moment of weakness - weakness of will. (That does not mean you should be any less upset or angry about it.) Then simply ask yourself, without considering the good/bad person notion, if you feel comfortably certain that you could trust her to never experience such a moment of weakness again. If the answer is no, then I think you have your solution. It's much easier to reach a clear decision this way, by approaching it from the point of view of your own self-protection, rather than from the point of view of trying to answer the impossible question of 'is she a bad person or not?'
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    File her under b1N
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    (Original post by FinnLassie)
    To be honest, when kissing, a few seconds is a long time.

    Just go as you feel like you want to go on. If you need time off, tell her so. I suggest you have a lovely time doing something else, hanging out with your mates and such.
    I will
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    Return the favour and see how she reacts. Women always think they can do this and guys get stereotypes as the cheaters let them know how it hurts and put her in your shoes. Make sure she sees it and do exactly what she did to you get one of your friends to say they saw it to her then you tell her yourself. Do it exactly the same.
 
 
 
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