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Only one out of my friends who has never had a relationship Watch

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    It is not an exaggeration either, I am literally the only one and it's really obvious. I can't stop feeling down about this. I'm 18 btw. Most of them are in relationships at the moment and I feel quite distant from them because they want to talk about relationships and I've not experienced it. It's making me feel like I don't want to be around them as much (which is stupid I know). I can't help but feel like no one wants me and that I am unattractive. It's at the point now where it's kind of uncomfortable when other people talk about their partners/ ex partners.

    I wish I could be mature about it but I just can't help but feel a bit depressed by my complete failure of a love life so far, and I feel like I'm not as good as my friends. It's not as if I'm not interested, right now the thing I would like the most is a relationship. I've liked quite a few people, and one of them was really intense. My feelings have never been mutual though and I've always been unsuccessful. I know there are other people in my position but how can I not feel down about it?
    • #1
    #1

    I'm 24 and I'm in exactly the same situation. So yeah feel good that you're not as useless as I am.
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    so what? I assure you there are plenty of people (hence also girls) in your situation. Don't give up just yet.
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    Both of you seriously... your time will come

    I've noticed that 'good things come to those who wait' actually does have a lot of truth in it.

    Just keep being your lovely selves.
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    have you tried going out meeting new people? I'm sure you'll find someone soon. You should talk to your friends about how you feel, they might not realise its upsetting you when they talk about their relationships around you
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    I'm pretty much always a 3rd/5th wheel on nights out, most of the time it doesn't bother me but there are occasions when I can't help but follow the Ballotelli school of thought and question 'why always me?'

    I'm 23 and haven't had a relationship thats lasted more than a couple of months. Luck, timing and circumstance never seem to be on my side. I'm still on the lookout but through past failures etc I've become extremely cynical about my chances of ever finding anyone.

    I guess the cliched but best advice is to go out and broaden your social circle. If you're known by more people and get involved in things the more likely you are to meet someone....eventually.
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    If all you do with your time is dwell on this and actively seek a relationship because of this then it won't come any faster than if you didn't. Do everything you can to be happy without the need of someone else for now, if you rely on a relationship for happiness then you'll be distraught when it ends (assuming it does, like most first relationships do).
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK)
    I'm pretty much always a 3rd/5th wheel on nights out, most of the time it doesn't bother me but there are occasions when I can't help but follow the Ballotelli school of thought and question 'why always me?'

    I'm 23 and haven't had a relationship thats lasted more than a couple of months. Luck, timing and circumstance never seem to be on my side. I'm still on the lookout but through past failures etc I've become extremely cynical about my chances of ever finding anyone.

    I guess the cliched but best advice is to go out and broaden your social circle. If you're known by more people and get involved in things the more likely you are to meet someone....eventually.
    Meeting new people is easier said than done sometimes though, if you work full time and all your mates are in relationships, it's really hard. I do really miss the days of university where it was so easy just to meet random people, you almost had too much choice. Now I have weekends and a few hours every evening to try and meet someone and in a smallish town with not much to do, that's pretty hard. I mean I could meet a random girl in a nightclub and take her home (and I have) but that's entirely different.

    I'm the 24 year old guy above, so a similar age to you. Longest relationship was 12 months when I was 18. Since then it's been 4 months at uni and then ended because she had to move away when we finished uni and things didn't work out for us to be together and we just drifted apart. The worst thing was that I just -knew- we'd have worked if we'd stayed together in the city we went to uni at.

    Just to compound it, having moved back home and being bored to death down here, I don't know many people having spent the majority of the last 3 years at uni or travelling and spending maybe a combined 6/7 weeks at home in the past two years before I returned home. The friends I have kept in contact with are all getting married (two this year), having kids or just plain boring.

    I'm honestly stuck as to how I'm ever going to meet anyone. Pretty much just slowly accepting I'm going to be alone. Which is a horrible shock, when six months ago I had a girlfriend and an incredibly strong friendship group of six people who were all just like me.
    • #2
    #2

    Oh god you sound just like me. At least you've got age on your side, i'm nearly 22!

    Sex/relationships always comes up in conversation whether i'm with the girls or the guys and i've got nothing to contribute. Obviously i'm happy they are happy but it makes me feel like crap! I've never been on a date or done anything with a girl beyond kissing. Most of my friends are girls and i generally get on with them better so i'm wondering if that is the issue? Nobody has a bad word to say about me as a friend so i don't think the problem is my personality.

    I don't believe that its as simple as ''meet more people'' or ''your time will come''. Since moving away for uni i've met countless people and made so many friends, as someone else has said its almost too easy. Yet i've still got nowhere. Even with one girl where everyone thought it was a dead cert she liked me, it was still a no I accept that by this stage in life most girls have relationship experience, but it worries me they'll be less tolerant of someone like me who doesn't have a clue what they are doing.

    I've given up on ever finding someone, really. People have suggested i just find a girl on a night out just to get some experience but i dont want to do that. I like someone at the moment but nothing will ever happen. I'm pretty sure she knows. Oh well.
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    I made the mistake of inviting one of my best mates and her boyfriend over for New Year. Never again, not together, unless there are other people present. Couples are a force that are only tolerable if you happen to have a lot of alcohol handy. A few of my other friends don't have boyfriends either but the one's who do are so couple-y. It does get you down sometimes, but usually I don't mind overly much.
 
 
 
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