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Best friend wants to get married for visa purposes watch

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    Hello,

    I'm an EU citizen who is currently living and working in the UK. I have a close friend(non-EU) who was also working in the UK (banking sector) until recently but due to the new immigration policies he has to leave the country. My problem is that he has suggested multiple times that I marry him in order for him to get a visa permit. I'm very upset and frustrated because he keeps on mentioning that although I've made it clear that I'm not willing to do that for a number of reasons. I have suggested a number of ways he could get visa legally but he keeps on saying that that is the easiest route.

    I want to point out that I'm always willing to help a friend but I think that this is beyond my limits because:
    a)I find it unethical and immoral
    b)it can have a number of legal implications
    c)it can have a serious effect on my interpersonal relationships
    d)I'm examining my options in terms of postgraduate study and I don't even know if I'm going to be in London nor in the UK for that matter.

    I just want some opinions regarding whether I am right for feeling angry and pissed and how should I go about it, because I don't feel he has the right to be so pushy for something so serious especially when I've made it clear and given a lot of arguments as to why I do not wish to do something like that.
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    Of course you're right to feel this way!

    He asked or suggested it once, you've told him no, it should be the end of the matter.

    Think you need to sit him down and express this to him that you've said no and feel uncomfortable with him continually bringing it up. Sympathize with him about his situation, but tell him you're not going to be marrying him and if he really wants to do that, find someone else.
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    Stick to your guns, you are doing the right thing! Do not give in whatever you do it will be a huge mistake.


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    ^This

    You have every rights to feel this way. It's illegal to have a bogus marriage and if found out, he may be banned from entering the UK and you may have a hard time sponsoring your future spouse.

    As an non-EU (and an Economics student), I would advice him to leave and go to countries that will appreciate his skills. Cause and effect. If the UK scrutinize its border (even to genuine skilled immigrants) to please the voters, then the Brits should face the full force of economical drawbacks.
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    It's the easiest way for him but you might ruin your own life, so stick to your opinion.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    thank you all for your replies!
    I'm probably going to have myself more clear and tell him that this is my final decision
    and not to count on me for something like that.
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    Make him sit down, look you in the eyes and just say No to him so he understands.
    I would never do that for anyone no matter how close, because it's immoral like you said. He shouldn't insist. Try to explain some other ways to him that he could become a legal citizen.
    You're doing the right decision
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    He be crazy. Don't be listening to that fool. :hmmm:

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    Also, the visa process is very complex, it is not certain getting married will automatically get the work permit, it takes months to come through.
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    Sad times for him I suppose.
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    He sounds like a **** to be honest, he's only thinking about himself, like this isn't a big deal for you. A lot of guys might be put off, it's a bit weird, espeically if they want to, y'know, get married.
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    (Original post by ebam_uk)
    Also, the visa process is very complex, it is not certain getting married will automatically get the work permit, it takes months to come through.

    (Original post by HeavyTeddy)
    He be crazy. Don't be listening to that fool. :hmmm:

    Posted from TSR Mobile

    (Original post by Lexxaa)
    Make him sit down, look you in the eyes and just say No to him so he understands.
    I would never do that for anyone no matter how close, because it's immoral like you said. He shouldn't insist. Try to explain some other ways to him that he could become a legal citizen.
    You're doing the right decision

    (Original post by iknowi2)
    Sad times for him I suppose.

    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    He sounds like a **** to be honest, he's only thinking about himself, like this isn't a big deal for you. A lot of guys might be put off, it's a bit weird, espeically if they want to, y'know, get married.
    during the last few months it was a common topic of conversation since I asked him if there is any possibility for the company or move him to another possition (so he can fill the financial criteria for a visa) or find another job in a company that would sponsor him. Since he tried but couldn't find a company that would sponsor him, he started saying stuff like "let's get married and go to London and we'll get an apartment together" etc. At the time I wasn't in London yet but in my home country (I was planning of going back since I studied in London) and I was telling him how hard it is to find a proper housemate and so on.

    Apart from telling no everytime he mentioned it I also tried to make certain arguments as to why it is not beneficial to do such a thing anddidn't really try to argue about the immorality of the matter, although that is huge part of my decision to decline. Some of my arguments were the following:
    -that we will have to be together for at least 5 years, as far as I know that's the time needed for the non-EU to get indefinite residence permit, which means that we'll have to live together. That is very problematic because what if I meet somebody and want to live with him, move somewhere else, want to get married?Basically I won't be able to do any of that for at least 5 years and bear in mind I'm 29 years old so it is highly likely that something like that may happen.
    -it is illegal and we may end up in jail.
    -he is gay so he'll have to limit his personal life.somebody may get suspisious and report our fake marriage.
    -he'll have to get a residence permit in my home country, which is a time-consuming and complicated process.

    Plus I there is a number of other "disadvantages" which I didn't mention to him like:
    -my family will be furious and my friends will disapprove.
    -Like Mankytoes said, it would put off a lot of people.it would make me look like a weirdo and/or an idiot the very least.
    -Lots of paperwork.
    -Technicalities like income statements, buying or selling a property etc.

    The point is that in the beginning it made me feel kind of bad that I'll have to refuse something to a friend, but now that I've made it quite obvious that I'm not going to do it I feel angry, not because he asked, but because he continued to repeat the same stuff and not understand the seriousness of the situation.
 
 
 
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