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Drunken "mistake" by girlfriend Watch

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    I repeat - ARE THEY MARRIED? What a lot of fuss about a brief exchange of body fluids
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    There's an old Irish saying - "Wine lets out the truth".

    I happen to agree with this. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, it doesn't change your beliefs.
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    I cannot believe how repressed these people are. There is an implied right of ownership between these two people. Did they draw up a contract before the relationship began? How is a transgression evaluated? Who is the judge. How bad is the sin? How bad the punishment. The guy doesn't know how to ove only how to possess
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    (Original post by Muffer)
    Oh, oh my god - you aren't an uninhibited, irresponsible drunk?

    Gosh, that just cleans up the whole debate. Your type of drunk - nay, personality - is clearly the benchmark needed for any dilemma on this subject, applicable to any person of any upbringing and personal makeup. Now we don't need to be confused over tiny irregularities like contradictory drives and spur-of-the-moment personally-motivated actions - instead we can all say together: IT'S JUST BS.
    I feel there isnt any need for blaming alcohol. I think blaming alcohol has just become a popular way of escaping responsibility.
    True there may be a number of people out there so so drunk that they genuinely have no idea what has happened, but i think the majority just use it as an excuse.

    Spur of the moment actions i can understand, i cant understand spur of the moment actions where you cheat though.
    I just dont understand how you cant know what youre doing is wrong, whether intoxicated or not and if you think alcohol is causing you to cheat, then stop drinking it!
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    (Original post by Leighcakes)
    People do stupid things when they're drunk - at least she admitted it to you! She probably didn't tell you firstly because she was scared of your reaction. Sit down with her and let her know how you feel about it all, that you feel betrayed and hurt and are worried it may happen again. So long as you lay down how you feel and she seems genuinely upset, then I wouldn't dump her if you feel that strongly about her.

    However: I know a lot of couples who have been through this and the offender didn't tell them at all, and they found out from other sources. If that was the case with you, then it'd appear more that she was trying to hide it. Then I most definitely wouldn't trust them.
    MmM i dont know about that, i never have the urge when im in a happy relationship, just about all my good mates are the same. If theres an urge then i'd say somethings not right!
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    (Original post by flubadiblam)
    MmM i dont know about that, i never have the urge when im in a happy relationship, just about all my good mates are the same. If theres an urge then i'd say somethings not right!
    I didn't say all people. But it doesn't necessarily have to be relationship-based stupidity. I've done quite a few stupid dares in my time under the influence of alcohol. :K:

    Just saying that some people don't think straight after a few drinks. No relationship is perfect; there could be underlying issues we don't know about that could've brought it out: but if OP really loves them as much as he claims, then he shouldn't dismiss them entirely.
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    So she didn't sleep with anyone else, owned up to it and presumably feels guilty about quite a minor thing. (Yes to all the self-righteous people on here, a drunken kiss at a moment where people do kiss each other IS a minor thing) I can understand her saying she couldn't remember at first because if she does feel guilty was probably thinking 'oh god, what do I say?! I don't want him to break up with me?!'

    Don't focus on 'honouring your principles', that is like severing contact with a friend because they annoyed you once, fairly immature.

    My advice, tell her you feel hurt but don't want to break up. If she is genuinely sorry about forgive her and move on, that is literally all you can do.

    Above all else, don't go online asking for advice, actually talk to HER.
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    To be honest being drunk isn't really an excuse, problem you have got now the trust is damaged and may never be re-built, I mean it is up to you but if she does do it again then I would consider ditching her.
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    (Original post by MrMikeEsq)
    Alcohol brings out what she really wants to do. This wont be the last time


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    That's rubbish. People do things they don't want to do when they're drunk
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    (Original post by Jam')
    That's rubbish. People do things they don't want to do when they're drunk
    Alcohol just lowers inhibitions, removes the barrier.


    This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
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    (Original post by ct2k7)
    Alcohol just lowers inhibitions, removes the barrier.


    This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
    It makes people impulsive and not think about what they want to do.
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    (Original post by Leighcakes)
    I didn't say all people. But it doesn't necessarily have to be relationship-based stupidity. I've done quite a few stupid dares in my time under the influence of alcohol. :K:

    Just saying that some people don't think straight after a few drinks. No relationship is perfect; there could be underlying issues we don't know about that could've brought it out: but if OP really loves them as much as he claims, then he shouldn't dismiss them entirely.
    No i see what you mean, but thats how i always felt about this sort thing!

    Then again, people have different views on this, i know this girl who has been with her bf for like 2 years and she pulls guys in front of him, then back to him and neither give a rats ass about it! seem pretty happy so who am i to judge!

    (in bold) Haha please, go on..
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    (Original post by Gwilym101)
    So she didn't sleep with anyone else, owned up to it and presumably feels guilty about quite a minor thing. (Yes to all the self-righteous people on here, a drunken kiss at a moment where people do kiss each other IS a minor thing) I can understand her saying she couldn't remember at first because if she does feel guilty was probably thinking 'oh god, what do I say?! I don't want him to break up with me?!'

    Don't focus on 'honouring your principles', that is like severing contact with a friend because they annoyed you once, fairly immature.

    My advice, tell her you feel hurt but don't want to break up. If she is genuinely sorry about forgive her and move on, that is literally all you can do.

    Above all else, don't go online asking for advice, actually talk to HER.
    How is it minor when it's a matter of trust? She broke it, therefore it's not minor at all as trust is the biggest thing in a relationship.

    As I said before, it may have happened now and in my experience things are never the same after something like this.


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    (Original post by flubadiblam)
    No i see what you mean, but thats how i always felt about this sort thing!

    Then again, people have different views on this, i know this girl who has been with her bf for like 2 years and she pulls guys in front of him, then back to him and neither give a rats ass about it! seem pretty happy so who am i to judge!

    (in bold) Haha please, go on..
    I'll refrain. For the sake of this thread we should be comforting. Not sharing stories of innocence lost.
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    (Original post by Leighcakes)
    I'll refrain. For the sake of this thread we should be comforting. Not sharing stories of innocence lost.
    Wait there, ima go make a new thread quickly lol, you clearly want to get something off your chest

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=2216394

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    Break up with her, you absolute tool
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    The range of replies on this thread is comedic gold

    Back to the OP.

    Firstly, i'd say don't take advice from anyone on this thread, myself included. Why? cos everyone has their own levels of tolerance, acceptance, morals, sensitivity, etc, etc.

    This is something you need to work out for yourself. How willing are you to overlook it? How is her character like? How sorry is she? How much does this mean to you, etc, etc?

    Now if you asked me what i'd do in this very same situation...i'd break up with her and at the very least go on a very long break with no contact. Most likely it would be the end....simply cos she broke my trust and i'd find it hard to see past it. But thats just me. everyone is different.
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    (Original post by CRIKEY12)
    Are you mature enough to be in an adult relationship?
    What!?!?! Are you? Maybe you have a different opinion on what a mature relationship involves!?!

    In my opinion, in a mature relationship, people are able to trust each other. If my boyfriend kissed someone while out with out me (or with me for that matter), it would most definitely break the trust...

    If you're with someone, then surely that means you want to be with them and no one else. Why would you then want to kiss someone else?? My partner and I have worked had on our relationship, we know each other intimately and love each other a lot. I think he'd feel the same way if I kissed another man. Maybe I'm wrong though...

    What's your opinion of a mature relationship, and do(es) your boyfriend(s) think it's acceptable for you to kiss other guys??
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    Easy answer, let her prove to you that you can trust her again, it happens to most people, I'm going to say this if she is genuinely sorry and she's been with you for ages, then you should just let her prove to you that she did it as a mere drunken mistake. But if you have only been with her for a couple of weeks and she acts like it isn't a big deal, good riddance.

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    If you aren't able to let it go and will hold it against her, then chuck in the towel now. It's not fair on either of you.
 
 
 
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