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Tired of online dating, girls don't message back. Watch

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    (Original post by Gemma345)
    I would message back if they told me something interesting about themself. Such as a cool sport, or a favourite film ... I don't know.

    You say you mention that you have a shared interest - do you prove it? Such as, if they say, 'I love going for long walks', do you just go, 'I love going for long walks too!', or do you go, 'I love going for walks too! Especially along the seafront at xyz' etc etc.

    Don't make the message too long. It would also probably help if you talk to them quickly after they've put up their profile, otherwise they might have found someone they kind of like already, or you're the 50th person that's emailed them.

    I really hope this helps. If your looks don't win them over, then try and make them love your personality, and if she's anyone worth being with then she will love you for who you are not what you look like

    Best of luck!
    Aww that's sweet thanks. Yeah I need to back up my statement when I say I like doing stuff.
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    (Original post by Guy Secretan)
    You're just too ugly all relationships are underpinned by looks. Also ask yourself if you would reply to a girl you were not attracted to.
    you don't know that you've not seen what he looks like, he might just think he's not good looking
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    (Original post by gemgemsx)
    you don't know that you've not seen what he looks like, he might just think he's not good looking
    Well
    I've never had a gf
    Every attempt I've made to ask a girl out/take things forward, they all say no or give an ambiguous answer like maybe
    Never been complimented on my looks
    But they all say I'm a nice guy, nice personality so it's probably my looks
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    (Original post by Michaelj)
    Nobody wants to date a munter, it's human nature. It's also human nature to thrive for the best and hope for the best. I'm pretty sure if a 5 ft 0 skinny teenager with acne all over his face asked you on a date, you'd have second thoughts. However, if a guy who looked stunning asked you, then you would consider it. Don't mention personalities as this isn't what I'm on about, if anything just imagine the handsome one with the best personality. It doesn't matter what YOU look like as a person, chances are you still want to date someone whose attractive.

    And yes, I agree that online dating has many flaws and compatability is one of them.
    Haha not a munter no, but someone much less than a tanned, hench, posed guy can still be attractive.

    A skinny teenager I'd decline on the premise of age but someone slightly younger than me who comes across as well as someone the same age and stunning would stand just as much chance of at least a conversation.

    Not personality no, but you can infer a lot from what people write and I'd say that's pretty hard to ignore, no?

    Anyway, we're going a little off topic, but I just think it's important to realise that what you think is your ideal is a very small part of a person. Don't lower your standards, look further into people to see if there is anything about them that is ideal.
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    Unfortunately for some people on dating websites, it's all down to looks at first. I wouldn't message a lass back if she wasn't good looking.


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well
    I've never had a gf
    Every attempt I've made to ask a girl out/take things forward, they all say no or give an ambiguous answer like maybe
    Never been complimented on my looks
    But they all say I'm a nice guy, nice personality so it's probably my looks
    I bet you don't look as bad as you think, send me a pic and I'll tell you what i think
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    (Original post by gemgemsx)
    I bet you don't look as bad as you think, send me a pic and I'll tell you what i think
    Don't really wanna do that
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Don't really wanna do that
    fair enough i wouldn't be mean about it though lol
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    I used to be on a similar sort of website to a dating website and i used to get between 10-25 messages on any average day.

    So even when you want to message someone back, sometimes when you have so many people to reply to you do forget about people, sometimes a message has gone so far down the list that you forget its there etc etc.

    Now bear in mind, if you get 20 messages in one day and you are already trying to communicate with several people, it gets very tedious answering all these people and remembering everyone.

    Some of these girls will be ignoring you, others will simply forget or you will unfortunately be buried somewhere in their inbox.

    Also make sure you are making your messages interesting, give them talking points which will grab interest and make them want to respond, dont just put hi how are you, or something equally boring.
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    My reply rate on pof is for every 10 messages I send, I get atleast 3 views back from girls. Since joining pof a month ago (16th dec) I've had 48 views from the best looking (those glamorous girls on the front page) and I'm happy with that BUT I must stress this, in all my messages and even my profile, I haven't been honest or I've played myself up abit but all my pics are of me.
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    (Original post by Michaelj)
    Nobody wants to date a munter, it's human nature. It's also human nature to thrive for the best and hope for the best. I'm pretty sure if a 5 ft 0 skinny teenager with acne all over his face asked you on a date, you'd have second thoughts. However, if a guy who looked stunning asked you, then you would consider it. Don't mention personalities as this isn't what I'm on about, if anything just imagine the handsome one with the best personality. It doesn't matter what YOU look like as a person, chances are you still want to date someone whose attractive.

    And yes, I agree that online dating has many flaws and compatability is one of them.
    Don't know why, but I can't stop laughing at this :lol:
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    (Original post by Dekota-XS)
    My reply rate on pof is for every 10 messages I send, I get atleast 3 views back from girls. Since joining pof a month ago (16th dec) I've had 48 views from the best looking (those glamorous girls on the front page) and I'm happy with that BUT I must stress this, in all my messages and even my profile, I haven't been honest or I've played myself up abit but all my pics are of me.
    What sort of things have have you put that aren't true?

    Just curious as surely you have to carry these things on in conversations? Or are they minor?
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    You're very young? Most 19 year old men aren't looking for anything serious, they are way too young for commitment anyway. The relationships people have at your age don't last. These years are for you to develop, have some fun dating experiences and you can only do that IRL. Getting ignored by anonymous people online is not helpful - you have no clue what to improve either. You don't get practice in social interaction or develop confidence. Get out there.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well
    I've never had a gf
    Every attempt I've made to ask a girl out/take things forward, they all say no or give an ambiguous answer like maybe
    Never been complimented on my looks
    But they all say I'm a nice guy, nice personality so it's probably my looks
    I'm a bit of an optimist but I say nice guys kick ass...

    Me personally I get a bit more attention purely for the fact that I ride a motorbike (well a 125cc scooter but shhhh :p: ) and I used to get attention just by going round in shorts, shades and with a pushbike :p:

    The thing is, girls really dig confidence and if you project this in real life AND stay a nice guy then you can pick up any decent girl on the street! Honestly, it doesn't matter about looks! I think being a nice guy is a huge asset (so long as you don't go the route of the "nice" guy) and you should build upon that strength.


    The problem with dating sites, and the reason why I don't use them, is that half of the girls are average and yet you see them as amazing. The reason behind this is that even average girls get 100s of messages and they can be really really fussy but in reality if you walked up to them in real life you could pull them with just two qualities (genuineness and a bit of confidence). I think you should ditch the dating sites and focus on yourself in real life because I reckon you could pull more girls than you think :p:
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    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)
    What sort of things have have you put that aren't true?

    Just curious as surely you have to carry these things on in conversations? Or are they minor?
    My job title. Conversation isn't a problem for me because I only bother with those who bother to fill their profile in properly and the conversation naturally flows when I talk about them and their interests rather than mine.

    I also got one girl asking for my skype but subsequently things went pair shaped when it became obvious to me that she was a control freak (to the extent that I could tell by chatting to her on skype).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a bit of an optimist but I say nice guys kick ass...

    Me personally I get a bit more attention purely for the fact that I ride a motorbike (well a 125cc scooter but shhhh :p: ) and I used to get attention just by going round in shorts, shades and with a pushbike :p:

    The thing is, girls really dig confidence and if you project this in real life AND stay a nice guy then you can pick up any decent girl on the street! Honestly, it doesn't matter about looks! I think being a nice guy is a huge asset (so long as you don't go the route of the "nice" guy) and you should build upon that strength.


    The problem with dating sites, and the reason why I don't use them, is that half of the girls are average and yet you see them as amazing. The reason behind this is that even average girls get 100s of messages and they can be really really fussy but in reality if you walked up to them in real life you could pull them with just two qualities (genuineness and a bit of confidence). I think you should ditch the dating sites and focus on yourself in real life because I reckon you could pull more girls than you think :p:
    I like this guy's outlook

    PRSOM - intriguing :eyebrow:
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    Have a topless profile pic if you're muscular or semi-muscular, and ask them incredibly specific questions. Pictures seem incredibly important. The amount of racist and bombastic crap I put on my profiles was ridiculous, but a picture of me looking masculine still got me responses. When it was just my stupid face smiling I got very few responses or views. Don't always add kisses to the end of messages. Wait for their replies to include them.

    Even if you get responses it's still really hard to keep the conversation flowing. It's hard to know what will and won't offend them, and if you don't keep it interesting they will stop responding. It's equally dispiriting when you realise you've been talking to an idiot and there's no hope of it going anywhere. Dating sites actually seem a complete waste of time. Most of these women have to resort to dating sites for a reason. It might work for those in their 40's but not for us youngfolk. Sayting that, My Mum's pof profile gets about 30 messages per day, most are from freaks, or are badly spelled or pathetic. You'd think this would make the decent profiles/messages stand out, but after reading those messages it just made me suspicious of men (especially hairy men) and less inclined to believe in online dating.
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    (Original post by Bazlehman)
    after reading those messages it just made me suspicious of men (especially hairy men)
    How random
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    I've become friends with a girl from POF, she was real nice and all but the truth was she looked different from her pictures and she lived too far from me to make me interested. She only had pictures of her face but the truth was, she was really large. I'm friends with her on fb tho and still now and again chat to her..
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    The amount on here about dating sites made me curious and so I decided to have a quick browse of POF. It's pretty obvious why decent looking girls get a lot of mail as 9/10 girls are 3s or below and so the average ones seem like a great catch.
 
 
 
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