Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Tired of online dating, girls don't message back. Watch

    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Online dating for most guys never works.
    I have a friend that last time she checked (after only a few days), had 75 messages. Yes, 75!
    imagine having to filter through them all, to get to anyone?
    She just doesn't bother.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)
    I like this guy's outlook

    PRSOM - intriguing :eyebrow:
    A lot of girls like that outlook in real life

    Oh and i'm remaining anonymous because i'm not trying to score you, which would be my intention if I was seeking girls on dating sites :p:


    oh and as for your PRSOM, TSR is tricking you
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A lot of girls like that outlook in real life

    Oh and i'm remaining anonymous because i'm not trying to score you, which would be my intention if I was seeking girls on dating sites :p:


    oh and as for your PRSOM, TSR is tricking you
    So you're a sub and/or liar... narrowing the field :holmes: I'm a detective dontchaknow.

    I don't really care who you are, just found it odd as I rep quite often so don't usually encounter a PRSOM - especially not an anon. Although I don't feel that you're reason for going anon is genuine. Why would you need to be avoiding unintentionally scoring on TSR
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)
    So you're a sub and/or liar... narrowing the field :holmes: I'm a detective dontchaknow.

    I don't really care who you are, just found it odd as I rep quite often so don't usually encounter a PRSOM - especially not an anon. Although I don't feel that you're reason for going anon is genuine. Why would you need to be avoiding unintentionally scoring on TSR :p
    My penis doesn't fit into the usb port, that's why
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Oh no please don't generalise! (Even though its difficult I know)

    I used to have a profile on tagged back when I was like 14 then redid my profile at about 17, now it's more of a dating ish site than a social networking one.

    Anyhow back to my point, I had a pretty good profile actually, stating things about me interests and the like cause I genuinely like meeting new people who I probably wouldn't normally meet.I got alot of messages off guys, most were the typical "hi you look nice" and i always replied. Even those which were abit boring or kind of freaky/pervy. Some show their true colours after about two three messages.

    So maybe don't comment on their looks asap as that could either be off putting or raising suspicion as to what you're really after, in my opinion. Also you just have to accept that girls will get a good ten or so inboxes a day most being the same thing so it's just bad luck that yours were the one to get ignored?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm male, 19.

    9 times out of 10 I send a message to a girl on any dating website be it pof to badoo, I get ignored. I know they receive loads of messages but its very frustrating when they don't give you a chance. I believe I have a good profile but honestly I think they judge my looks(I'm not that good looking/never had a relationship) and so don't message.

    In the rare occasion when they do message back, they seem less enthusiastic and stop replying half way through :confused:

    I make sure my opening message mentions a common interest we both share and I comment on their profile pic. Not good enough I guess. It's hard for guys but girls on the sites gets it easy. It's like Internet shopping for them.

    Any suggestions on how I can improve my reply success rate?
    Girls, what would make you reply back? Do you really judge looks more online than in real life?
    Honestly, it would be near impossible for people to give a good answer as to how to improve your success rate without knowing what you're doing.

    There are several factors that will impact your success

    1. Your opening message
    2. Your pictures
    3. Your profile
    4. The women you've selected.

    All I can say is, it is important to remember that online dating isn't necessarily a good indication or reflection of real life. Generic comments or banter that would easily do in real life won't do it for someone who is receiving a number of replies per day from others. If you're going to do the online dating thing, you have to make sure that ALL 4 of the points listed are up to par to get good results.

    However, I'm not really convinced that online dating is necessarily the best way to go to meet new people
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by marcusfox)
    Girls get really shallow on these online dating sites, especially the free ones where they outnumber guys by like 5 to 1.

    This is because they know they are in demand, so feel they can pretty much ignore everyone who messages until their idea of a perfect guy comes along. But he never does, so they never end up meeting anyone.

    If you're above average looks, you might have a chance, but girls have unrealistic expectations of men's appearance, so again, you will likely get ignored unless you're really interesting.
    As a female and having met my best partner ever on a free dating site I can confirm this is bull****, especially the last paragraph. My boyfriend would be the first to admit he isn't classically handsome but I was physically attracted to him on meeting due, I think, to confidence and charm.

    To be honest the vast majority of messages were uninteresting. I only replied to people who came across as a great deal smarter than myself and it worked.

    Incidentally, it is rather silly saying 'girls get shallow on dating sites' when the whole concept is intrinsically more shallow than a chance encounter. Your cards are on the table that you want to date or **** and that does drain away the intrigue. So yes, both men and women will appear and will act more shallow. If a woman with kids messages a man that may put them off and they won't bother replying but in real life they would at least be able to politely hold a conversation.

    However the shallow premise doesn't make it worthless as a tool as long as you have enough brainpower to acknowledge the shortcomings.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Toaster Leavings)
    As a female and having met my best partner ever on a free dating site I can confirm this is bull****, especially the last paragraph. My boyfriend would be the first to admit he isn't classically handsome but I was physically attracted to him on meeting due, I think, to confidence and charm.

    To be honest the vast majority of messages were uninteresting. I only replied to people who came across as a great deal smarter than myself and it worked.

    Incidentally, it is rather silly saying 'girls get shallow on dating sites' when the whole concept is intrinsically more shallow than a chance encounter. Your cards are on the table that you want to date or **** and that does drain away the intrigue. So yes, both men and women will appear and will act more shallow. If a woman with kids messages a man that may put them off and they won't bother replying but in real life they would at least be able to politely hold a conversation.

    However the shallow premise doesn't make it worthless as a tool as long as you have enough brainpower to acknowledge the shortcomings.
    He's not saying all girls are shallow on online dating, he's saying most are. Are you denying this? Then you might as well deny that there's pervy men on online dating who flash off their cocks and beg for sex. This is why online dating sucks balls. Congratulations! You're not the same as 90% of women on online dating...

    And about your intelligence comment. It's easy to come across as a braniac on the internet. You have time to think what you want to write unlike irl where you haven't got minutes to think about what you want to say.

    His last paragraph wasn't bull**** either. If an average looking woman gets spammed with dozens of messages and she see's guys of all types... She's not going to go for the ugly guy, is she? What if the good looking guy has a better job or a seemingly better profile? If you're an ugly guy, then you might as well delete your online dating profile as you have a pretty slim chance of scoring. That's not to say they can't do any better irl but on sites such as POF? I doubt it. Even ugly women have a better chance as they are so few in numbers compared to the guys. Only difference is, they're not as picky as the average+ girls.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Just to let you know that people can create a profile on a dating site without having to purchase a membership.

    When I was having dinner with one of my female friends, she said, "even good guys lie to get me into bed in real life. why bother with the online dating?"
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    You are 19, wtf are you doing online dating?

    Its so much easier and better in real life, 99% of those girls are complete messes.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    The creepy online vibe kills it a bit, I imagine. If you're chatting to a girl you know, and you get to know each other well naturally, share interests and really click, then a relationship could be on the cards. The entire premise of dating sites throws me a bit though. The whole deal with them:

    "Here's some information, bam."
    "Here's some information, bam."
    "I like your face and would like to meet you in real life for sexy times."
    "I reciprocate your attitude and would also like to perform sexy times."

    The very intention of being on the site is to find someone, fast, either for a 'relationship' or aforementioned sexy times. Everyone is doing the same thing and it sounds bloody intimidating.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    you could always try real dating and not the sims version...
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Toaster Leavings)
    As a female and having met my best partner ever on a free dating site I can confirm this is bull****, especially the last paragraph. My boyfriend would be the first to admit he isn't classically handsome but I was physically attracted to him on meeting due, I think, to confidence and charm.

    To be honest the vast majority of messages were uninteresting. I only replied to people who came across as a great deal smarter than myself and it worked.

    Incidentally, it is rather silly saying 'girls get shallow on dating sites' when the whole concept is intrinsically more shallow than a chance encounter. Your cards are on the table that you want to date or **** and that does drain away the intrigue. So yes, both men and women will appear and will act more shallow. If a woman with kids messages a man that may put them off and they won't bother replying but in real life they would at least be able to politely hold a conversation.

    However the shallow premise doesn't make it worthless as a tool as long as you have enough brainpower to acknowledge the shortcomings.
    I saw you had quoted me and came back to reply, but Michaelj has pretty much said it all.

    Evidence for this in the OP's paragraph. 9 out of 10 girls didn't bother to message him back, and I doubt he was sending them pictures of his junk.

    You even ADMIT that you considered the vast majority of messages you received were uninteresting and say that attractiveness didn't play much of a part - well anyone can tell you that's rubbish. If an attractive person messages you and says hi, he's going to be more likely to get a reply than if he isn't, and whether or not you find him interesting is, whether you like it or not, down to whether or not you subconsciously at least find him attractive.

    Oh, and should you like to look at evidence for the last paragraph, that can be found here.

    http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/yo...online-dating/

    Women rate 80% of men as being worse than average looking.

    I think their analysis carries more weight than your 'opinion'
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Go in-to the city, find the ugliest girl you can (i mean like loads of spots glasses , braces, smells bad, has bad fashion sense) then ask her out you might have a better chance.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Toaster Leavings)
    I was physically attracted to him on meeting due, I think, to confidence and charm.
    confidence is the ability to bull**** a woman into bed. well done :congrats:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    There's a real arrogance spreading from profile to profile on these free dating websites, an arrogance that says 'don't you dare contact me if you don't look like my ideal'. Where is the gentle reply? the graceful decline of invitation? what the hell is happening? I'm seeing this more and more, It has even become something of a preoccupation of mine to deliberately seek these shallow scumbags out and play them. And they absolutely deserve it.
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Connery92)
    There's a real arrogance spreading from profile to profile on these free dating websites, an arrogance that says 'don't you dare contact me if you don't look like my ideal'. Where is the gentle reply? the graceful decline of invitation? what the hell is happening? I'm seeing this more and more, It has even become something of a preoccupation of mine to deliberately seek these shallow scumbags out and play them. And they absolutely deserve it.
    They deserve it because they want to be picky? Why shouldn't they be? I am.

    It sounds a bit like being a sore loser here. Can't play the game so spoils it for others...


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    When my friends go on dating sites, they seem to be a bit freaked out about the attention they get on there and they always seem to claim that the guys always seem to have the most appalling and quite worrying photos...
    also if a guy starts to compliment her a lot, (e.g. Oh baby, your photo is so **** it's makes me steamy for you or wow, you're so beautiful I can't take my eyes of you I just feel so beeeepppp) it may seem flattering to a certain extent but receiving a lot of them result in their overall impression being "the guys on here are creepy."
    l have once tried going on a dating site but got scared out of because of all the creepy messages that the guys sent to me - never again shall I turn to a world of sexual harassment on the Internet. the guys just come on too strong.

    I don't know what you did wrong but you seem like a genuinely nice guy from your post so don't worry, even though you've failed a lot with girls on the web, there will always be one who waiting for you, no matter how long it takes.

    PM me if you need help with anything concerning this subject...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by PauLLL)
    It sounds a bit like being a sore loser here. Can't play the game so spoils it for others...
    Come on then, winner, tell of how the game can be won. I'm listening, winner. I'm listening. We sad spoilers of the game want to know how to win, like you, winner. Tell! winner, tell!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Connery92)
    There's a real arrogance spreading from profile to profile on these free dating websites, an arrogance that says 'don't you dare contact me if you don't look like my ideal'. Where is the gentle reply? the graceful decline of invitation? what the hell is happening? I'm seeing this more and more, It has even become something of a preoccupation of mine to deliberately seek these shallow scumbags out and play them. And they absolutely deserve it.
    This is the mentality of people on this website, isn't it. Please don't start shooting other people.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: November 30, 2015
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What's your favourite Christmas sweets?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.