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    Hey anonymous post because people know me on here.

    The info is in the title but basically I've got to the stage of life where I really want to settle down, or at least make plans to in the future.
    I've been with my partner for a few years now and I really truly am in love with him but I don't want to push things with him and make him think I'm being too clingy. I know he loves me too and we have talked about our future together but I'm not sure if he's ready for it yet.
    I am going to a friend's wedding soon and it seems as if everyone around me is getting engaged too, It might just be me feeling left behind and as if I should be at that stage of my life too.
    This year I have lots of things going on that could be an opportunity for him to propose (As the tradition of the man doing the proposing), but of course if he is not ready for that I will wait until he is.
    I even looked at dresses (with my friend who is getting married) and I'm tempted to buy the ring and save it for him to use as I found the perfect one in my size discounted. But I don't want to be the crazy commitment lady and make him scared.
    Basically I'm just wondering if anyone else has felt like this before or if I just have 'wedding fever'. Like I said before I don't want to pressure him but I just love him so much.
    The 'need' to get married might fade in a few weeks so I might just wait and see what happens over the year, I don't want to say anything to him though just in case he has been thinking about it/planning it too.
    Any advice would be great thanks.
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    Take him to the wedding with you and try your hardest to catch the bouquet, and when you do, turn to him and give him a wink and a nod.
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    Relax. When he is ready, as you said, he will ask. You will enjoy the moment and the wedding planning so much more if you don't do anything now and just let him ask when he really wants to.
    Do not buy the ring. It may seem perfect and a bargain but you don't know how he'd feel about that. He might want to buy one himself to propose with; my fiance had mine made secretly so that he could choose exactly what it would be like and make it personal. If I'd been over excited a few years earlier and bought one or something like that then we'd both have lost out on that extra touch.
    The complete shock when your partner proposes and you were completely not expecting it is the best feeling in the world and that doesn't change whether you were together for one year, two years or ten when they do it.
    You want to marry him which means you have the rest of your lives together. That means you have no need to race to the engagement and wedding just because your friends are. I can totally understand how you feel but I promise it is worth the wait and not dropping hints or getting rings or other bits! All good things to those who wait.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ...
    It sounds like you haven't had this talk about what you want with him properly. This is evidenced by the fact that you keep saying you don't want to appear clingy or rushing into commitment. It sounds like you aren't sure whether he's ready and you're happy to compromise until he is because you think he's the one?

    I say that if you are ready for the next step then you should discuss it with your partner. It shouldn't be "let's not talk about it so I can seem like the cool girlfriend" because well, you do want to talk about it. You should at least approach it so you can see whether he's on the same page as you. If he's as into you as you are into him then it won't be a crazy surprise to him that you are ready - who knows he might be ready too!
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    Definitely do not start making wedding plans and buying rings until you are actually engaged. That would scare most people off!

    If you're that desperate to get engaged, why don't you propose to him?
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    i think discussing marriage with a partner youve been with for a few years is not clingy in anyway.

    Maybe you should have a rational talk about it - without doing the stereotypical ladies way of SQUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE whenever someone mentions weddings lol
    • #2
    #2

    How old are you?
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey anonymous post because people know me on here.

    The info is in the title but basically I've got to the stage of life where I really want to settle down, or at least make plans to in the future.
    I've been with my partner for a few years now and I really truly am in love with him but I don't want to push things with him and make him think I'm being too clingy. I know he loves me too and we have talked about our future together but I'm not sure if he's ready for it yet.
    I am going to a friend's wedding soon and it seems as if everyone around me is getting engaged too, It might just be me feeling left behind and as if I should be at that stage of my life too.
    This year I have lots of things going on that could be an opportunity for him to propose (As the tradition of the man doing the proposing), but of course if he is not ready for that I will wait until he is.
    I even looked at dresses (with my friend who is getting married) and I'm tempted to buy the ring and save it for him to use as I found the perfect one in my size discounted. But I don't want to be the crazy commitment lady and make him scared.
    Basically I'm just wondering if anyone else has felt like this before or if I just have 'wedding fever'. Like I said before I don't want to pressure him but I just love him so much.
    The 'need' to get married might fade in a few weeks so I might just wait and see what happens over the year, I don't want to say anything to him though just in case he has been thinking about it/planning it too.
    Any advice would be great thanks.
    I know how you feel but believe me, for you it might fade but it hasn't for me and its been bugging me for ages, I see people all around me getting engaged after 2,3, 4 years with their partner I've been with mine for 7 years and its not happened yet, I never intended to be 26 and unmarried I just always thought it would happen sooner. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but it does. We've talked about it extensively but there is always some excuse like he doesn't want to get married just yet or we're too young (he's 31 for christ's sake) or we can't afford it. The latest is he was going do it but my dad died suddenly and he thought it would be some huge faux pas to overshadow such a sad time with something so happy which has got to be the worst excuse I have ever heard. He really is annoying he'll go on and on about not wanting to get married but every so often out of the blue he will say something like suggesting a song for our first dance or commenting on something on a tv show like don't tell the bride that he likes, he even once asked me if there was family ring (cos he can't afford one) and get my hopes up only for them to be dashed again and again.
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    Take your phone, phone the talking clock, leave your phone on the talking clock forever. You are now engaged.
 
 
 
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