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Feel like I'll be single forever! Watch

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    (Original post by py0alb)
    Sexual compatability is one of those things you need to discover in the early stages before you can commit to a relationship, like whether you have a similar sense of humour or political views. There's no right or wrong order to discover these things. You might as well find out straight away whether you're wasting your time. Imagine going on numerous dates then you finally get her into bed and it turns out she's really into scat. If only you'd known that earlier you could have been out dating someone less secretly mental.
    Unfortunately I think most men think like this. And that's probably one of the many reasons why I'm still single. My friends (males and females) always say that being a virgin is good and although I like being one, in the dating world it really isn't a good sign.
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    (Original post by georgia)
    Yeah, I see that. If someone was really open to an actual relationship, I just don't see that they'd be happy going around having sex with whoever they can just to test out whether or not they do want a relationship with that person. The behaviour and intent are not compatible.
    Also personally someone being bad in bed wouldn't be a deal breaker to me, after all you could always try different things and it may improve over time anyway.

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    (Original post by georgia)
    I see your logic, and while I wouldn't propose to say that you should never break up with a girl once you've slept with her, I would say that it would be a better situation to be a position whereby you like her enough by the time you are sleeping with her that you would a) have enough of a connection for the sex just not to be ****, and b) if it wasn't what you were expecting...talk about it and/or just try something different and see how that went.

    I just think that sex should come after the point at which you've decided you like everything else about them enough to not end up having to 'reject them'.

    Does that make sense?


    Different people have different approaches. I always think that if a proto-relationship was only ever destined to last a week, you might as well have at least spent that week ****ing the **** out of each other.
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    (Original post by gemmam)
    Also personally someone being bad in bed wouldn't be a deal breaker to me, after all you could always try different things and it may improve over time anyway.

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    Oh I dunno, if they were truly terrible then it'd be a pretty big deal breaker for me. Although I honestly do think that if you actually do really like them a lot then it's highly unlikely the sex would be all that bad anyway.

    (Original post by py0alb)
    Different people have different approaches. I always think that if a proto-relationship was only ever destined to last a week, you might as well have at least spent that week ****ing the **** out of each other.
    Of course, different people do have different approaches. I just happen to think that yours is weird :p: I would think that a week like that would basically set you up for much more future upset than a week of lunches and dinners and movies. (Yes, the old cliches, but they're good for a reason.)
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    (Original post by py0alb)
    Different people have different approaches. I always think that if a proto-relationship was only ever destined to last a week, you might as well have at least spent that week ****ing the **** out of each other.
    For guys it's ok but I dont think many women would be as willing to have sex that early don't you think, by nature they get more attached & are more emotional than us guys when it comes to these kind of things.
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    (Original post by Lawstudent321)
    That's not true because I'm single- even though I do get asked out a lot. I've decided to stay single and concentrate on my career- since boys like to mess about especially guys my age.


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    That didn't really answer what he said. You get asked out a lot, so you have a choice to not be single. He's talking about women like the OP who are single not out of choice, but out of bad luck etc. While I agree that it's not so easy for women to get into a relationship, it sure isn't as hard as with men.

    Lets be honest men do more of the chasing than women, the woman can pick and choose(if she's desirable by men) more than the male counterpart who have to work their way for each women.

    I'm not *****ing about this by the way. Just that he has a valid point.
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    (Original post by Multitalented me)
    For guys it's ok but I dont think many women would be as willing to have sex that early don't you think, by nature they get more attached & are more emotional than us guys when it comes to these kind of things.
    That is certainly the cliche, but it is not borne out by the personal experience of anyone I know. I myself dated lots of different girls in my early and mid 20s and they were all sex-crazed nymphomaniacs, every single one of them.
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    (Original post by jam277)
    That didn't really answer what he said. You get asked out a lot, so you have a choice to not be single. He's talking about women like the OP who are single not out of choice, but out of bad luck etc. While I agree that it's not so easy for women to get into a relationship, it sure isn't as hard as with men.

    Lets be honest men do more of the chasing than women, the woman can pick and choose(if she's desirable by men) more than the male counterpart who have to work their way for each women.

    I'm not *****ing about this by the way. Just that he has a valid point.
    I think both sexes think its harder for them. In reality, its exactly the same for both sexes, otherwise the maths wouldn't add up. The myth of there being this one guy was has 150 girlfriends at once distorting the figures and making it harder for every other guy is just plain silly.

    Attractive, outgoing people find it incredibly easy to pull, unattractive or socially isolated people find it very difficult. Everyone else is somewhere in between.
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    (Original post by WelshBluebird)
    That's just bad luck, not you being weird though.

    Ignore the bullies - they were just that, bullies. When I was bullied in school they said I wouldn't do anything or go anywhere. Now, while their either on benefits or in prison or scraping by on minimum wage while looking after a kid, I'm earning decent money in a graduate job, in a growing industry, in a lovely office in a beautiful city.

    I just wanna give you a hug now though .
    Yeah, it's bad luck, but it's sometimes hard not to connect all these events and notice a pattern.

    The sad thing about my situation is that, after a bit of Facebook stalking :ninjagirl:, most of my bullies actually seem to have better lives than me at the moment . It sucks, but I try not to worry too much about it and keep trying my best to improve myself where I can. Even my old friend who's been working in Tesco for years and is currently expecting a baby at the age of 21 with her long term boyfriend, maybe some people look down on that, but I think at least it's better lonely and unemployed for ages, like I have been. Well, except the last 6 months I did have decent jobs but before that the job market was a massive unlucky struggle for me. Anyway, I'm moving to Australia soon where the job market is better, the weather is better, and hopefully if the traveller community is as friendly as internet and films make it out to be, then hopefully I'll meet a few good new friends too

    Thanks :hugs:
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    (Original post by py0alb)
    I think both sexes think its harder for them. In reality, its exactly the same for both sexes, otherwise the maths wouldn't add up. The myth of there being this one guy was has 150 girlfriends at once distorting the figures and making it harder for every other guy is just plain silly.

    Attractive, outgoing people find it incredibly easy to pull, unattractive or socially isolated people find it very difficult. Everyone else is somewhere in between.
    I totally agree with this. I know of plenty of men and women who can get into relationships easily, and I also know of plenty of men and women who find it incredibly difficult to get into relationships. It just depends on the individual person, rather than their gender.

    It just really annoys me when some people say that women can get into relationships easily, because if that were the case then how would I be having all the troubles that I have and be constantly single, even though I am a woman? Some men themselves are seemingly claiming that men are hardly picky, when in reality a lot of them are very picky.
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    (Original post by TitanicTeutonicPhil)
    Probably this. Attractive girls don't stay alone for long, no matter how weird they are.
    I didn't neg you btw.

    Haha well thanks for the input. You may well be right. It's just people have been attracted to me before so I can't be complete troll faced monster. Besides not all guys are that shallow!:rolleyes:
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    (Original post by py0alb)
    I think both sexes think its harder for them. In reality, its exactly the same for both sexes, otherwise the maths wouldn't add up. The myth of there being this one guy was has 150 girlfriends at once distorting the figures and making it harder for every other guy is just plain silly.

    Attractive, outgoing people find it incredibly easy to pull, unattractive or socially isolated people find it very difficult. Everyone else is somewhere in between.
    Maybe so with the statistics but that's probably(mainly?) because relationships are with two people most of the time. Still feel that women have an easier job. I'm not complaining though tbh. A hot woman who's unsociable has an easier job than the hot man who's unsociable. Men will still work harder for the unsociable woman than women as they do the chasing more often than women. A hot woman and a hot man who's sociable will obviously get similar attention. Only that the man will have to chase the women while the woman gets attention without being as proactive as the man.

    Agree with the second paragraph totally though.
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    I know exactly how you feel ... i've been single now since 2nd year and im now in 6th year, not even had anything like a relationship with anyone since then ... i've been talking to this guy for a while, we've been friends since forever and i really liked him, we almost went out a few years ago but it died out and since then i've really liked him but like all my "relationshps" with guys they never go anywhere. i just feel like i'll be single for ever, theres just nothing there at all with anyone and i feel like ill be like this forever ...
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    Feel ya brah
    I gave up caring :gthumb:
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    Well, things like being bullied at school for being too weird for a relationship, then when I did finally date someone in secondary school, I found it hard to be affectionate with him for some reason (frigidness I guess, but I was 16 so I dunno how weird that is at that age). And now I've been single again for so long and keep getting rejected by guys I'm interested in, I can't keep thinking it's because of something they all find a bit strange about me, even though I try to be a nice person I'm just so confused about how to be likeable . And then the only guy I've recently been able to attract in ages turns out to be a massive pervert. This bad luck just seems never-ending...
    Maybe the problem is that you are trying to hard to be likeable and thus aren't coming across as insincere? I'm not suggesting you should be nasty but maybe you're compromising who you really are in a bid to be liked more. People can unconsciously pick up on things like that. That's just my input anyway
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    (Original post by Colour Me Pretty)
    Maybe the problem is that you are trying to hard to be likeable and thus aren't coming across as insincere? I'm not suggesting you should be nasty but maybe you're compromising who you really are in a bid to be liked more. People can unconsciously pick up on things like that. That's just my input anyway
    I don't think I try too hard. It's generally who I really am, and I just honestly feel like being nice to people is easier and more pleasant than being nasty, and don't understand why everyone doesn't think like that or respect that. What I personally consider insincere is saying nice things to my face, then turning around and then suddenly being nasty behind my back over some stupid trivial things. Someone was actually like that at my school and I was quite gob smacked that she could somehow get boyfriends easily. I would never behave like that. What's the point?

    Then again, I guess what's the point in being nice? I may as well give up as it doesn't seem to do me that much good in this crap hypocritical society.

    After all my experiences, I'm finding humans very weird and I just don't understand them.
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    (Original post by The_Super_Nerd(:)
    It's just people have been attracted to me before so I can't be complete troll faced monster.
    Inbox pic or GTFO lol

    (Original post by The_Super_Nerd(:)
    Besides not all guys are that shallow!:rolleyes:
    Well, the handsome and successful ones are...
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    When I at last got a boyfriend it turned out the things he liked about me were the things I've done because they're what I wanted to do - go to uni and move out for example. So I'd say do things for yourself because if you spend your time looking for a boyfriend the most interesting thing you'll have to say about yourself is that you know off by heart the "Top Ten Ways to Bag a Man".
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    (Original post by daisy89)
    I don't think I'm picky or shallow at all...
    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    Or maybe just all the guys she meets happen to be picky and shallow? They're not traits unique to just one gender, y'know.
    (Original post by gemmam)
    .
    My point was that in my experience the girls who have been single for a long time just tend to go for the wrong guys and are a bit unlucky in that sense. I have been reading the replies on here and a gist of those comments were 'I have liked guys but it has never worked out', which comes to suggest IMHO that maybe the single girls on this thread were batting above their weight (so to speak) and disregarding the guys who actually liked them? I'm just guessing here but what I have found most of the time that is the case for single girls.
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    Your not the only one here.
 
 
 
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