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    Basically I'm struggling with the idea that I have to go back to university this weekend.

    I've tried to make friends with the people in my flat, on my course and in my societies, but I seem to have failed. There's only one person that I could really say I get on with (they're on my course) and they've already signed up to move into a house next year with people from their current flat; leaving me with nobody to move in with with next year.

    I have effectively spent the 11 weeks I've been at uni so far getting through the weeks only by telling myself that I can go home at the weekend or the one after (I'm at the University of Bath which is about 2.5 hours away from my home), which I don't believe to be a sustainable, or honestly healthy, way to be living.

    It's not that I'm struggling with the work either; I'm finding the academic side of the course fine. I'm still enjoying the subject as much as I did before I started at university and am happy with my choice in that respect.

    So I think the trouble is just that I'm a very family orientated person. I have some wonderful friends at home that I've made over the last 7 years or so, but even still I have always preferred to be with my parents and siblings. It may be that this level of dependence on my family is sad but I can't help it, it's just the way I am. I even got homesick when I went to Reading festival with my friends last year, and that was unimaginably more fun than uni has been so far.

    I wanted to know if anyone had any thoughts or advice for me; I've been considering transferring to a more local university where I could commute by train or possibly move in with some of my existing friends, could that be a feasible solution? Or is it that I need to force my self to grow up a bit and force my self to get on with it?

    Any (constructive) comments would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks in advance,

    Tim.
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    Hi, I'm not at University yet and am hoping to attend in September but I want to try and give you some advice.

    Maybe try and stick out the rest of the year? It has only been the first semester and you never know things might turn around. Perhaps at the end of the year you could transfer if you are still struggling. Have you tried joining any societies to meet like minded people? I have heard that helps with making friends. Maybe you could also try skyping with your family so that you don't miss they are much.

    Keep your chin up, Tim
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    (Original post by TimWestwood)
    Basically I'm struggling with the idea that I have to go back to university this weekend.

    I've tried to make friends with the people in my flat, on my course and in my societies, but I seem to have failed. There's only one person that I could really say I get on with (they're on my course) and they've already signed up to move into a house next year with people from their current flat; leaving me with nobody to move in with with next year.

    I have effectively spent the 11 weeks I've been at uni so far getting through the weeks only by telling myself that I can go home at the weekend or the one after (I'm at the University of Bath which is about 2.5 hours away from my home), which I don't believe to be a sustainable, or honestly healthy, way to be living.

    It's not that I'm struggling with the work either; I'm finding the academic side of the course fine. I'm still enjoying the subject as much as I did before I started at university and am happy with my choice in that respect.

    So I think the trouble is just that I'm a very family orientated person. I have some wonderful friends at home that I've made over the last 7 years or so, but even still I have always preferred to be with my parents and siblings. It may be that this level of dependence on my family is sad but I can't help it, it's just the way I am. I even got homesick when I went to Reading festival with my friends last year, and that was unimaginably more fun than uni has been so far.

    I wanted to know if anyone had any thoughts or advice for me; I've been considering transferring to a more local university where I could commute by train or possibly move in with some of my existing friends, could that be a feasible solution? Or is it that I need to force my self to grow up a bit and force my self to get on with it?

    Any (constructive) comments would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks in advance,

    Tim.
    I don't think your situation is uncommon, Tim. I really didn't like my flatmates in halls, I don't think they cared much for me. They loved drum 'n' bass, football and drugs. Not my cuppa.

    I did have a close friend on my course, however, and we ended up moving in with two randoms from a student accommodation forum. This, believe it or not, is not the worst way to mate new flatmates. Yes, it's a bit of a lottery and someone who initially appears to be fabulous could be a complete ******** but something to consider. I was fortunate though, my two A.N.Others were lovely.

    One question, do you participate in many societies? My one regret is not getting involved in much in the first year. Societies are a great way to mean like-minded folk and make friends. You said you liked Reading festival, is there not a similar society type thing you could get involved with? Again, excuse my ignorance if not, festivals are not my thing.

    Also, loads and loads of people will leave accommodation hunting until Easter, maybe even after, especially first years. Don't get disheartened, plough on. You're at a great university and no doubt will have wonderful career prospects. Don't blow it all on a feeling based on 11 weeks. I get the feeling you'll be letting yourself down and your family down if you do, you're clearly an intelligent individual capable of great things. By the end of the 3/4 years, however long your course is, I can guarantee you will look back on those years as the best time of your life.

    SP
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    (Original post by Fabulous Killjoy)
    Hi, I'm not at University yet and am hoping to attend in September but I want to try and give you some advice.

    Maybe try and stick out the rest of the year? It has only been the first semester and you never know things might turn around. Perhaps at the end of the year you could transfer if you are still struggling. Have you tried joining any societies to meet like minded people? I have heard that helps with making friends. Maybe you could also try skyping with your family so that you don't miss they are much.

    Keep your chin up, Tim
    Thanks for replying.

    The thing is I have joined all the societies I liked the look of, and they all seem to consist of 3rd and 4th years with long standing friendship groups.

    I also skype my family once a week when I'm at uni; it doesn't seem to help at all, sometimes even making me feel worse.

    Tim.
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    (Original post by studentpride)
    I don't think your situation is uncommon, Tim. I really didn't like my flatmates in halls, I don't think they cared much for me. They loved drum 'n' bass, football and drugs. Not my cuppa.

    I did have a close friend on my course, however, and we ended up moving in with two randoms from a student accommodation forum. This, believe it or not, is not the worst way to mate new flatmates. Yes, it's a bit of a lottery and someone who initially appears to be fabulous could be a complete ******** but something to consider. I was fortunate though, my two A.N.Others were lovely.

    One question, do you participate in many societies? My one regret is not getting involved in much in the first year. Societies are a great way to mean like-minded folk and make friends. You said you liked Reading festival, is there not a similar society type thing you could get involved with? Again, excuse my ignorance if not, festivals are not my thing.

    Also, loads and loads of people will leave accommodation hunting until Easter, maybe even after, especially first years. Don't get disheartened, plough on. You're at a great university and no doubt will have wonderful career prospects. Don't blow it all on a feeling based on 11 weeks. I get the feeling you'll be letting yourself down and your family down if you do, you're clearly an intelligent individual capable of great things. By the end of the 3/4 years, however long your course is, I can guarantee you will look back on those years as the best time of your life.

    SP
    Thanks for replying.

    As I said to Fabulous Killjoy, I have joined all the societies I liked the look of and that doesn't seemed to have helped...
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    Hi Tim,
    I completely understand where you are coming from - I found my first term at uni incredibly hard, I did make some good friends there but I still really missed home, as I am also extremely family orientated and also have a boyfriend back home (3 hours away from University of Bristol where I study). It is difficult to start off fresh in a new city where you know nobody and are far away from those who care about you.
    Only you can know what is the right decision for you. I would advise you what I told myself - that I would stick the first year out and then if I really couldn't face going back after the long summer, I would leave or transfer to a local uni.
    As others have advised, I have found that the best of friends have come from the most unexpected places - I now live with a wide variety of people I met on a student accommodation forum for my uni, as well as a friend I made in first year - you can meet some really great people this way.
    I hope your time at uni gets better for you - I certainly never thought it would when I had to return for the 2nd semester in my first year, but it did and I'm now in my 3rd year, with only one term left before I complete my degree! It goes so fast after your first year - but only you will know what is right for you. Hope this helps and best of luck
    Hannah
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    So you didnt make friends for life in your first weeks. Bummer.

    There are LOADS of people in your position, me included. You will find friends, believe me.
    As for next year, either go live in private halls or ask around if somebodys still looking for flatmates. Because people will get into fights and decide they dont want to live together anyway.
    Dont worry, youll be fine.

    Posted from TSR mobile because a bear ate my laptop
 
 
 
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