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    I've never been on date/had a boyfriend before, and I think a part of that could be that I was always too scared to try and take it any further. For the first time, I'm actually sort of friends with the guy I like (though I haven't spoken to him in ages). I've realised I do fancy him quite a lot, but there's some problems of course.

    The thing is, I don't think he actually fancies me. Again it's one of those things where he probably doesn't but I'm still hoping. My friend asked him if he found me attractive, and while he could have been lying, he said no. I've never got any signals that he likes me either, unless I'm recognising them wrong. So if I told him how I felt, I would be prepared for a rejection. It's just I'm sick of never doing anything, and last time I promised myself that I wasn't going to just silently sit by (in other situations I got too nervous to talk to guys, so I have made progress). Besides, *if* he did fancy me, he'd quite shy so I don't think he'd say anything, so I do feel like it's in my hands.

    I've watched someone else ask him out and him reject her. He clearly felt very awkward about it and avoided talking to her - not because he disliked her, but he didn't know how to deal with it. I don't want him to do the same to me. I'd like to think he'd be flattered, even if he didn't have any feelings, but then I might just make him uncomfortable instead.

    So I've got two questions. 1) Should I tell him how I feel? and 2) HOW?! I honestly haven't tried before, and saying "do you want to go out with me" sounds stupid. I don't know if I should be asking him to go somewhere with me though, or just telling him how I feel (I hope that makes sense).

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    You could tell him how you feel, but unfortunately it doesn't sound like he likes you, as you said...still, I say go for it, what have you got to lose. I'd bring up your feelings casually if I were you, not just announce that you want to go out with him. And remember there are plenty of other guys out there.
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    My advice would be no, but show your feelings when you're speaking to him and see if they get reciprocated. Getting with people is more like a game, or mating ritual on the discovery channel! It is always risky asking someone 'go out with me sometime?' when you have no idea how they feel.
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    (Original post by abc:))
    My advice would be no, but show your feelings when you're speaking to him and see if they get reciprocated. Getting with people is more like a game, or mating ritual on the discovery channel! It is always risky asking someone 'go out with me sometime?' when you have no idea how they feel.
    She can get one of these answers from any of her similar silly girl friends which I am sure she has a few.

    -->OP(don't even know what it means by I suppose it refers to the thread starter): I would in your place stop winding yourself up with 'ifs' and 'maybes'
    and just get on with it. You may put your shaky confidence at risk, but the more often you do it, the easier it will get in the future.
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    (Original post by lad-lad)
    She can get one of these answers from any of her similar silly girl friends which I am sure she has a few.

    -->OP(don't even know what it means by I suppose it refers to the thread starter): I would in your place stop winding yourself up with 'ifs' and 'maybes'
    and just get on with it. You may put your shaky confidence at risk, but the more often you do it, the easier it will get in the future.
    Yes but instead she posted the question on here lol
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    (Original post by abc:))
    Yes but instead she posted the question on here lol
    She probably asked her friends already and didn't find a positive reaction or the reaction that she wanted.

    See men can have real friends because only in very rare cases a guy will tell his good friend not to go for a girl (if she is a slut, or a complete waste of time), but with girls it's debatable...they can tell their friend not to go for the guy because they fancy him themselves or they are afraid their friend will not give them enough attention if they get together/ spend enough time with them.

    Hence I assume that only the men's opinions here will be valid and relevant.
    If she'd ask something along the lines of "What sort of shampoo should I use on Tuesday", I think I'd let you handle that one.
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    Tell him/mention
    Don't ask out

    Being a bloke myself a little help understanding women's intentions is always useful :gthumb:
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    How old are you because some boys at younger ages deny they like someone out of embarrassment, I said I didn't find someone attractive when I was 14 even though I really liked her. I would not tell him but try dropping hints, like already said, it's nice to at least have an idea.


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    (Original post by lad-lad)
    She probably asked her friends already and didn't find a positive reaction or the reaction that she wanted.

    See men can have real friends because only in very rare cases a guy will tell his good friend not to go for a girl (if she is a slut, or a complete waste of time), but with girls it's debatable...they can tell their friend not to go for the guy because they fancy him themselves or they are afraid their friend will not give them enough attention if they get together/ spend enough time with them.
    Haha, my friends have been very encouraging of it, but they seem to think he does fancy me...I'm posting here because I'm not as confident as they are on this matter.

    (Original post by MormonMonster)
    How old are you because some boys at younger ages deny they like someone out of embarrassment
    We're 16/17 - don't know if we count as younger ages but yeah, I guess there's a possibility he said it because he didn't want me to know or something. I do it all the time so

    I'm not gonna quote everyone, but thanks I've taken it all into consideration - so far I know I will not be "asking him out" because it does sound pretty childish/stupid like that anyway.
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    (Original post by lad-lad)
    She probably asked her friends already and didn't find a positive reaction or the reaction that she wanted.

    See men can have real friends because only in very rare cases a guy will tell his good friend not to go for a girl (if she is a slut, or a complete waste of time), but with girls it's debatable...they can tell their friend not to go for the guy because they fancy him themselves or they are afraid their friend will not give them enough attention if they get together/ spend enough time with them.

    Hence I assume that only the men's opinions here will be valid and relevant.
    If she'd ask something along the lines of "What sort of shampoo should I use on Tuesday", I think I'd let you handle that one.
    That's rather an assumption.

    I see...so do you think I was telling this girl not to go for it because I fancy this guy who I've never met? Or because I want to be internet buddies and this might get in the way? Or am I just being honest?
 
 
 
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