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How to become GOOD FRIENDS with a guy? And how to tell when it's happened? Watch

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    I know there's always loads of threads about this, and it's quite long, but please read!

    First and foremost, I'm in year 13.
    I'm very socially awkward and find it ridiculously hard to make friends with anyone, and last year my so called friends betrayed me so I haven't had any friends since. So as you can guess I've been pretty lonely
    A while ago, however, I started talking to this boy who's in one of my classes. He's really easy to talk to and we talk a lot about school, television... I love it when we talk, seeing as I barely have any social interactions with anyone else.

    Over the last few months, however, I've really started to crave companionship with him, like I really, really wish we could be good friends. But he's a boy, and I don't know ... like I don't know how to do it! It's difficult enough with girls, but at least being a girl myself it's obviously much easier.

    And I don't have any brothers, I don't know how to form a good friendship with a boy. I don't know what boys talk about to each other. And also, I don't know how to TELL when you've gone from aquaintances to friends to good friends. I've seen people say on here that when you're good friends with someone you have "deep" conversations - what counts as deep? How do I start having deep conversations with him without coming over as weird/too keen? How do I let him subtly know that I really enjoy his company and want to be better friends....

    Help! I ESPECIALLY don't want him thinking I "fancy" him. I know there was a thread saying boys and girls can't be friends, but I feel like I'm an exception to that rule because I'm tomboyish and not pretty.

    tl;dr. How does a socially awkward girl turn a boy, who's an acquaintance/kind of friend, into a good friend?

    I know it's pathetic, not knowing how to make friends, but please help I have literally no idea to do this and it's getting me so down.
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    Why dont u try to talk to him about his family and urs?...i dont reall y know...bu tmaybe talk aboht sports?...im sure lots of guys enjoy sports as well as us girls...talk about football and stuff like that...try to get him to open up to u ?...
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    (Original post by aliakhan)
    Why dont u try to talk to him about his family and urs?...i dont reall y know...bu tmaybe talk aboht sports?...im sure lots of guys enjoy sports as well as us girls...talk about football and stuff like that...try to get him to open up to u ?...
    Thanks, but I don't think he's into sports


    (Original post by Discombobulate)
    Guys don't like to be friends with tomboyish/non-pretty girls, sorry. Try lesbians?
    Aw, why? But if he liked my company, why wouldn't he want to be friends?

    (Original post by jamboogy)
    You are moist.

    You usually reach a point in a friendship where you do stuff on weekends together, hang out etc. That's when you can consider yourself good friends.
    Ohhh. Well we're not at that stage yet. It would be a bit awkward, being boy and girl, he might think I'm asking him out


    Anybody else?
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    Just keep talking to him about whatever you talk about. You said you talk easily, so just keep doing what you're doing. You'll probably reach the "good friends" stage at some point.
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    Hey I'm pretty much the guy in this sort of situation. Getting around the 'liking' bit to become more brother-sister I guess is probably your hardest step, in my case the girl had been through a rough time so I never really think about that sort of situation, we do get the odd teasing from others in our year but that is to be expected. At some stage expect your guy-friend to like you in that way so do be careful you don't accidentally lead him on as that will cause upset on both parts. As for boosting conversations talking about things like families, as someone above suggested, is a good idea - we have brothers in the same year bellow and often have a good laugh over the problems they winge about. Others things would just generally be taking an interest in what each-other likes/does be it sports or hobbies. Really though once you get started things will probably just flow along naturally and you will start talking about things without even having to think - being able to talk freely, in my opinion, is when you are really good friends.

    Doing stuff on the weekends/hanging-out doesn't have to be a part of things, that really depends on your circumstances. For example on NYE, as with most parties, she was with the group she normally congregates with for appearance and I was with the group I normally congregate with, and just typically had a good time. When certain issues arose and she ended up getting quite upset, mainly because the group aren't really her friends, I then went over and we talked and managed to cheer her up.

    Also don't anticipate things moving very quickly, otherwise the guy might think you are really wanting to progress to a relationship not just being friends. But really it depends on how you can show yourself as a best-friend, or him to you. If things go wrong and you are the one that demonstrates you are there then things will work out that way and one of you will probably say something along the lines of 'You are always there. You are the best, actually you are my best friend.' (Rough approx. of the conversation I had.)

    Hope this helps.
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    I understand what you mean, its only recently that I became friends with these guys and I would definitely say they are my really good friends - in only just a few weeks!

    I suppose having 'deep' conversations does solidify, not just with guys but with girls, your relationship with them and help you feel more comfortable around them. One of the conversations that really helped me develop my friendship with a guy was when we went onto discussing recent breakups and how much it hurt - I guess from there we just formed a mutual understanding.

    And I don't have any brothers, I don't know how to form a good friendship with a boy. I don't know what boys talk about to each other.
    Me too! But to be honest, I just tried making friends regardless of their gender and treated them as I would any of my girl friends.
    You say its not difficult to talk to him and the conversation flows so I suppose its all a matter of time before your friendship grows.

    You also mentioned you find it hard to make friends so you could casually say that to him and mention how you really enjoy talking to him? I know you don't want to come across as too pushy or seem like you fancy him but one of my guy friends said that to me recently and I actually really appreciated it.

    Surely you don't just see him in class time? You could try chatting online after school? Try being around him a bit more and that way you can interact in situations outside of the classroom where its easier to joke and have fun. If hes interested in the friendship then he will reciprocate talking to you.
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    (Original post by @Sam)
    Hey I'm pretty much the guy in this sort of situation. Getting around the 'liking' bit to become more brother-sister I guess is probably your hardest step, in my case the girl had been through a rough time so I never really think about that sort of situation, we do get the odd teasing from others in our year but that is to be expected. At some stage expect your guy-friend to like you in that way so do be careful you don't accidentally lead him on as that will cause upset on both parts. As for boosting conversations talking about things like families, as someone above suggested, is a good idea - we have brothers in the same year bellow and often have a good laugh over the problems they winge about. Others things would just generally be taking an interest in what each-other likes/does be it sports or hobbies. Really though once you get started things will probably just flow along naturally and you will start talking about things without even having to think - being able to talk freely, in my opinion, is when you are really good friends.

    Doing stuff on the weekends/hanging-out doesn't have to be a part of things, that really depends on your circumstances. For example on NYE, as with most parties, she was with the group she normally congregates with for appearance and I was with the group I normally congregate with, and just typically had a good time. When certain issues arose and she ended up getting quite upset, mainly because the group aren't really her friends, I then went over and we talked and managed to cheer her up.

    Also don't anticipate things moving very quickly, otherwise the guy might think you are really wanting to progress to a relationship not just being friends. But really it depends on how you can show yourself as a best-friend, or him to you. If things go wrong and you are the one that demonstrates you are there then things will work out that way and one of you will probably say something along the lines of 'You are always there. You are the best, actually you are my best friend.' (Rough approx. of the conversation I had.)

    Hope this helps.
    Hey thanks! Brother-sister thing is definitely what I want, I'm just awkwardly trying to figure out how to get there.
    How did you and your friend go from acquaintances to good friends? Did you just one day start talking about deeper stuff or ... how does it happen? Is there anything I can do to make it happen?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know there's always loads of threads about this, and it's quite long, but please read!

    First and foremost, I'm in year 13.
    I'm very socially awkward and find it ridiculously hard to make friends with anyone, and last year my so called friends betrayed me so I haven't had any friends since. So as you can guess I've been pretty lonely
    A while ago, however, I started talking to this boy who's in one of my classes. He's really easy to talk to and we talk a lot about school, television... I love it when we talk, seeing as I barely have any social interactions with anyone else.

    Over the last few months, however, I've really started to crave companionship with him, like I really, really wish we could be good friends. But he's a boy, and I don't know ... like I don't know how to do it! It's difficult enough with girls, but at least being a girl myself it's obviously much easier.

    And I don't have any brothers, I don't know how to form a good friendship with a boy. I don't know what boys talk about to each other. And also, I don't know how to TELL when you've gone from aquaintances to friends to good friends. I've seen people say on here that when you're good friends with someone you have "deep" conversations - what counts as deep? How do I start having deep conversations with him without coming over as weird/too keen? How do I let him subtly know that I really enjoy his company and want to be better friends....

    Help! I ESPECIALLY don't want him thinking I "fancy" him. I know there was a thread saying boys and girls can't be friends, but I feel like I'm an exception to that rule because I'm tomboyish and not pretty.

    tl;dr. How does a socially awkward girl turn a boy, who's an acquaintance/kind of friend, into a good friend?

    I know it's pathetic, not knowing how to make friends, but please help I have literally no idea to do this and it's getting me so down.
    You're not an exception to the rule, if he hangs around you long enough, he'll find something about you that will make him want to sleep with you. If you go down this path it will end in either a relationship or a messy end to the "friendship" Basically what I'm saying is do not do it!
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    (Original post by theviewfromhere)
    I understand what you mean, its only recently that I became friends with these guys and I would definitely say they are my really good friends - in only just a few weeks!

    I suppose having 'deep' conversations does solidify, not just with guys but with girls, your relationship with them and help you feel more comfortable around them. One of the conversations that really helped me develop my friendship with a guy was when we went onto discussing recent breakups and how much it hurt - I guess from there we just formed a mutual understanding.



    Me too! But to be honest, I just tried making friends regardless of their gender and treated them as I would any of my girl friends.
    You say its not difficult to talk to him and the conversation flows so I suppose its all a matter of time before your friendship grows.

    You also mentioned you find it hard to make friends so you could casually say that to him and mention how you really enjoy talking to him? I know you don't want to come across as too pushy or seem like you fancy him but one of my guy friends said that to me recently and I actually really appreciated it.

    Surely you don't just see him in class time? You could try chatting online after school? Try being around him a bit more and that way you can interact in situations outside of the classroom where its easier to joke and have fun. If hes interested in the friendship then he will reciprocate talking to you.
    Thanks This really helped.
    What sort of the things would you suggest I talk to him about to develop our friendship? Do you think if I told him about a random "personal" problem I have, would that make him realise I feel comfortable around him? Or is that way too full on?

    I have no idea how to do this... do you have any more ideas?

    Yeah, I only see him in class/outside of class He's got his own group of friends so it would be difficult
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    (Original post by Clone93)
    You're not an exception to the rule, if he hangs around you long enough, he'll find something about you that will make him want to sleep with you. If you go down this path it will end in either a relationship or a messy end to the "friendship" Basically what I'm saying is do not do it!
    Honestly he wouldn't! I'm not remotely attractive, I'm far too immature and too tomboyish If any "feelings" develop, it would be me falling for him, not the other way round. Basically there's no way he'd fancy me.
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    Oh lord in heaven above DO NOT DO THIS! It may take years but the friendship is doomed from the start. Straight guys and girls cannot be friends it will not end well!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Honestly he wouldn't! I'm not remotely attractive, I'm far too immature and too tomboyish If any "feelings" develop, it would be me falling for him, not the other way round. Basically there's no way he'd fancy me.
    A guy can never see a girl as a completely non sexual being.
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    (Original post by theviewfromhere)
    I understand what you mean, its only recently that I became friends with these guys and I would definitely say they are my really good friends - in only just a few weeks!

    I suppose having 'deep' conversations does solidify, not just with guys but with girls, your relationship with them and help you feel more comfortable around them. One of the conversations that really helped me develop my friendship with a guy was when we went onto discussing recent breakups and how much it hurt - I guess from there we just formed a mutual understanding.



    Me too! But to be honest, I just tried making friends regardless of their gender and treated them as I would any of my girl friends.
    You say its not difficult to talk to him and the conversation flows so I suppose its all a matter of time before your friendship grows.

    You also mentioned you find it hard to make friends so you could casually say that to him and mention how you really enjoy talking to him? I know you don't want to come across as too pushy or seem like you fancy him but one of my guy friends said that to me recently and I actually really appreciated it.

    Surely you don't just see him in class time? You could try chatting online after school? Try being around him a bit more and that way you can interact in situations outside of the classroom where its easier to joke and have fun. If hes interested in the friendship then he will reciprocate talking to you.
    Ooops, I meant in my other post I only see him in class, NOT outside of class. it won't let me edit my other post.
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    (Original post by Discombobulate)
    Guys don't like to be friends with tomboyish/non-pretty girls, sorry. Try lesbians?
    Not true. In my friendship group there are a lot a of guys and a few girls with honorary penises (which are granted on the basis of their manliness)
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    Thankshttp://static1.tsrfiles.co.uk/4.14.1...lies/smile.png This really helped.
    What sort of the things would you suggest I talk to him about to develop our friendship? Do you think if I told him about a random "personal" problem I have, would that make him realise I feel comfortable around him? Or is that way too full on?

    I have no idea how to do this... do you have any more ideas?

    Yeah, I only see him in class/outside of class http://static1.tsrfiles.co.uk/4.14.1...lies/frown.png He's got his own group of friends so it would be difficulthttp://static1.tsrfiles.co.uk/4.14.1...s/s-smilie.gif
    Well I suppose venture outside of the realms of just talk of television and movies. Maybe its easier to shift the conversation onto casual family chat and then go deeper from there. I suppose what helped me with my 'deep' convo with my friend about relationships is that we are both in the same situation so we can relate to each others emotions and has helped us form a bond.
    Of course, because you don't know him that well, it might be difficult to discover what you both have in common on a deeper level but like I said above, start simple with something like family as it has the prospects of going into something of much more intimate conversation.

    As for the not being able to talk outside class, I understand it would be difficult because of the whole awkward situation of going up to him when his friends are around. Due to the inability to talk outside of class, I suggest Facebook chat? I know its not as good as speaking in real life but its something. For initiating conversation, if you don't want to start with the normal 'hey, how are you?' if you feel weird about randomly starting a convo, ask him about classwork (even if you already know it) just as a conversation starter and then go on to chatting and joking about other things...it usually works.
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    (Original post by Clone93)
    Oh lord in heaven above DO NOT DO THIS! It may take years but the friendship is doomed from the start. Straight guys and girls cannot be friends it will not end well!
    :|
 
 
 
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