Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Having a total mental breakdown. Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I have had depression in the past but this time its different. I have not stopped eating for about a week and have not been out of the house. I am frightened of seeing people, even though I am not sure why. I feel completely boxed inside my room, and have either slept for 18 hours a day or 3 hour a day.
    I constantly want to cry for no apparent reason. Most disturbingly, I think the postcards on the wall are talking to me, and even when I take them down they are still there.
    I think I need to see a doctor. But I cannot leave the house. I do not want to bother my foster parents either.
    For the first time in my life, I am terrified.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Tuerin)
    Do you have any idea why you might be feeling like this? Is there any discernible trigger or is it completely spontaneous in your eyes? Please quote as I won't see this again
    1) I was systematically abused as a child. Its just all suddenly caught up with me.
    2) I am applying to Oxford, and I am sure they will reject me come the 11th. It means so much to me, the mere thought of rejection hurts. I have been tormenting myself since the beginning of December.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have had depression in the past but this time its different. I have not stopped eating for about a week and have not been out of the house. I am frightened of seeing people, even though I am not sure why. I feel completely boxed inside my room, and have either slept for 18 hours a day or 3 hour a day.
    I constantly want to cry for no apparent reason. Most disturbingly, I think the postcards on the wall are talking to me, and even when I take them down they are still there.
    I think I need to see a doctor. But I cannot leave the house. I do not want to bother my foster parents either.
    For the first time in my life, I am terrified.
    Not a medical person so dont know how good my advice is.

    I can understand that your brain is making your body feel a certain way, which is pretty **** at the moment. However you still have control over how you function. Try not to let whatever stupid chemicals your brain is releasing from dictating how you act. Act "normal" or as close to it as you can. Hopefully it'll subside.

    For example, what's the worst thing that can happen if you leave the house? You've done it a million times before and you can do it again. Also you don't need to eat all the time, just stop putting the food in your mouth.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    1) I was systematically abused as a child. Its just all suddenly caught up with me.
    2) I am applying to Oxford, and I am sure they will reject me come the 11th. It means so much to me, the mere thought of rejection hurts. I have been tormenting myself since the beginning of December.
    Sorry to hear this.

    Hmm with no.1. It doesn't happen anymore I guess. I've been bullied before and trust me I hated my life at times and just felt like going away where no one can see me. But things get better, wounds heal and it makes you more thick skinned towards things. I play piano at uni when I'm depressed e.g. or I do exercise. Do something you like doing that's also engaging and proactive, trust me it helps more than drinking yourself down and that stuff which gives you instant pleasure but not in the long term if you're dependent on it. Plus you get progression from it.

    2. It's actually not the end of the world, I wanted to do something else but I'm in a good uni, I've made great friends and I haven't felt happier in my life, I can express myself more than I do at home as there are so many people from so many diverse backgrounds and my friends have changed my outlook on life. I feel a smarter person because of it. Just work hard, if they don't want you, make it so that oxford find out what they're missing out on. If you get in, that's great news too.

    Good luck Hope this makes you feel better.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Tuerin)
    Wow, this might as well be me speaking. My mother has always been incredible severe with me and since I was 14 has also been abusing me. There is no one else in our family so it's isolating. I am also applying to Ox and know what you mean about cruel self-expectations.
    I am applying for English, what about you? How were your interviews?
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have had depression in the past but this time its different. I have not stopped eating for about a week and have not been out of the house. I am frightened of seeing people, even though I am not sure why. I feel completely boxed inside my room, and have either slept for 18 hours a day or 3 hour a day.
    I constantly want to cry for no apparent reason. Most disturbingly, I think the postcards on the wall are talking to me, and even when I take them down they are still there.
    I think I need to see a doctor. But I cannot leave the house. I do not want to bother my foster parents either.
    For the first time in my life, I am terrified.
    call your local CAMHS (community adolescent mental health service)/ Early intervetion service, try googling it, they can get you an appointment to see a doctor and they can come to you , to your house and asses you, and see how they can help you.
    call samaritans to talk about it.
    i had symptoms like these/experiences, ive been treated and im inrecovery.
    its completely possible to be treated at home and never have to go to hospital.
    i never went to hospital, and my symptoms were quite bad.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    First thing is diet, make sure you're eating a lot of fruit and veg (I know it seems simple and sometimes brushing off things from the past but they make such a huge difference).
    Stress is a huge thing here too, since you think you're going to be rejected it's just a downward spiral. Try to release stress, do yoga, sit in the garden for a bit, take a bath, pamper yourself - anything that works for you.
    With not leaving the house, you need to make yourself leave. You need to force yourself out of the house and to see people. Staying inside, lack of sleep or too much sleep and stress can give you hallucinations.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 7, 2013
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.