Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Please tell me, am I being unreasonable?! Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Without going into too much detail me and my guy have had a hard few months. I found out he was cheating on me but we have been working on things and they have been getting much better recently. I still love him and want to work things out, he says he wants the same.

    At new year someone came on to him and even had the cheek to tell me what they would like to do with him (sexually) even though this person knew he was with me. Ok drunk talk but I wasn't happy and asked my boyfriend to stay away from him. He told me I was overreacting & found it funny but I think he liked that someone was giving him attention really!

    Anyway I said no more but made me feelings very clear, it made me very uncomfortable and I didn't like this person around him. Fast forward to today and they are friends on Facebook. This other person had found my boyfriend - he has not bothered to add anyone else from that night

    I just had a bit of an argument with my guy because I feel it is a complete lack of respect to my already damaged feelings. I am still building my trust in him and feeling a little insecure still I guess.

    Am I being too controlling here? He has deleted this person now as I asked but he's not happy with me and doesn't see my issue. He said he would still talk to this person if he saw them and that I have to trust him. My point it he broke my trust and it will take time to come back fully, this person was really full on.

    He has made me feel so insecure
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Without going into too much detail me and my guy have had a hard few months. I found out he was cheating on me but we have been working on things and they have been getting much better recently. I still love him and want to work things out, he says he wants the same.

    At new year someone came on to him and even had the cheek to tell me what they would like to do with him (sexually) even though this person knew he was with me. Ok drunk talk but I wasn't happy and asked my boyfriend to stay away from him. He told me I was overreacting & found it funny but I think he liked that someone was giving him attention really!

    Anyway I said no more but made me feelings very clear, it made me very uncomfortable and I didn't like this person around him. Fast forward to today and they are friends on Facebook. This other person had found my boyfriend - he has not bothered to add anyone else from that night

    I just had a bit of an argument with my guy because I feel it is a complete lack of respect to my already damaged feelings. I am still building my trust in him and feeling a little insecure still I guess.

    Am I being too controlling here? He has deleted this person now as I asked but he's not happy with me and doesn't see my issue. He said he would still talk to this person if he saw them and that I have to trust him. My point it he broke my trust and it will take time to come back fully, this person was really full on.

    He has made me feel so insecure
    Anyone?!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I'd say if you really don't like it and he's cheated on you, then what he's doing is wrong. He should be trying to build back the trust that he has broken and do right by you. Maybe it's time to re-evaluate your relationship.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ZRO)
    I'd say if you really don't like it and he's cheated on you, then what he's doing is wrong. He should be trying to build back the trust that he has broken and do right by you. Maybe it's time to re-evaluate your relationship.

    Posted from TSR Mobile

    Words right outta my mouth.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anyone?!

    To be honest, he does not sound like someone that is worth your trust. You said yourself he is making you feel insecure. Furthermore, after cheating on you and you taking him back - I would at least expect him to be extremely apologetic and trying to win your trust back. The fact that he gets agitated with you because of your reaction to him enjoying attention from another girl (which, let's be honest, any girl in the same position would react/feel the same way after being cheated on) shows he doesn't really care about how he makes you feel. He sounds immature and petty if he is enjoying other girls' fussing over him at a point in your relationship where after a few hard months, he should be more concerned about working on building trust with you, which is what a decent man who truly loves you would be focusing on right now. Sure, it's nice to receive attention. We all get flattered, yes. But there are limits and a time and a place. And the time and place in your relationship at the moment is not the right time, as he is just contributing to your feelings of insecurities and sounds like he is more concerned about himself.

    Sorry but this type of boy (boy - not man) is to be steered clear of until he grows up and gives as much weighting to other people's needs as he does his own, particularly someone he is supposed to be in a relationship with.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I think it's quite clear from your post that you're finding it hard to trust him, and I'm not surprised you're feeling a bit insecure about the whole thing. This episode cannot be helping.

    Do you think you will ever be able to trust him again, and do you think new trust would be deserved?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Once a cheat always a cheat
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks for the replies. I guess I have my answer then, not sure if I like it or not. In the end it's my decision so will speak to him and say what I feel & see what happens. Not looking great
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    It's going to be hard to get over the trust issues here.

    It doesnt seem like he is taking your feelings/the situation into much consideration.

    What do you personally feel?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Spongebob'sPants)
    It's going to be hard to get over the trust issues here.

    It doesnt seem like he is taking your feelings/the situation into much consideration.

    What do you personally feel?
    It feels like he isn't taking me seriously. I would have stayed away from this person if it was me and no way would I stay in contact with them if I knew it made my boyfriend uncomfortable especially If I knew there were trust issues caused by my stupidity.

    I told him this and 'we are all different' This is a grown man by the way, 30+.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 5, 2013
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.