Worried about possible unfaithful girlfriend. Watch
Morning TSR. It's another one of these threads.
Basically, for reasons that need not be said, I have been concerned that my girlfriend may have been unfaithful.
Before we met at university, she had a summer fling. Now, her being a girl, she finds it necessary to stay in touch with him, because they're still friends. This I do not have a problem with. It's none of my concern, she's with me and loves me dearly.
However, something happened which made me think this guy is more than just her friend. I don't need to tell you what happened as it is irrelevant to the story and the advice I ask of you.
Because of these suspicions, I read her texts to him. Yes, it's wrong, I know. But I had reason to do it. Please don't include in your replies how it was wrong of me to do this.
We were apart for Christmas, as we went to our respective home towns. She told me that she was staying in with her family. In these texts I've found out she was with him. I don't mind her seeing him - but she lied to me about this.
The thread of texts referred to what sounds like an emotional talk between the two of them. They had been talking, on their little secret Christmas Eve rendezvous, about the amount of partners they have had in the past. He had 20.
I can infer that my girlfriend had said to him that this made her feel less special. He said that she was the most special he'd ever had, and that it made him sad that they hadn't had a go at it. She's told me in the past that neither of them have any feelings whatsoever for each other.
There were some flirty messages, from both parties.
There was a mention of him having an STI, and her going to the doctors with him. I know they are just friends, but this has sent major alarm bells ringing.
Why would she offer to go to the doctors with him? Why is it necessary?
What do I do? Am I being unreasonable?
No I don't think you are being unreasonable, this would make me uneasy too, but I think you need to confront your girlfriend and talk to her about this instead of just finding out all your information by going through her private messages.
I might also be more concerned about the STI thing. If she's slept with him and you've then slept with her.... Doesn't take a genius OP.
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If I was you, I'd tell her to choose, you or him. If she chooses you, which she should then she should have no contact with him at all. If there is contact, you know what to do.
If she chooses a 'friend' over you, then you're obviously better off anyway. Can't lose.
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My gf has met her ex on two occassions (they were together five years have some stuff that still needs sorting out) i knew about it and i was fine with it. Because she was open and up front about it.
If she did it behind my back its a different story altogether