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Ex is trying to turn me into her friend Watch

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    #1

    Long story short, ex and I broke up about a year and a half ago. We recently got back in contact, she has flown over to my city. Anyway, the other night I tried to go in for the kiss, prior to that, we were hand holding, I was kissing her hands, cheeks, had my hands around her waist. To the point, people were like "I hope you have a great night with your GF"

    Anyway, she is refusing to kiss me. And now I am in a pickle. on one hand I like the girl a lot, but I don't want to hang around and hear her stories about banging other guys. Which she hasn't done yet. On the other hand, I like her personality a lot - that's why we dated right?

    I have already told her with regards to kissing her, I am her ex, so it is natural that I am going to be affectionate towards her. Sometimes I get the feeling she has forgotten that I have actually had sex with her.

    But yeah, she wants to meet up tommorrow. If I go for the kiss again, I will no doubt be rejected. And knowing me, I probably will. At the same time, I am finding it SO HARD not to see her. In my head, I know, logically seeing her is a bad idea, because nothing good will come out of it. At the same time, I will find it sad to lose her completely. Have a soft spot for the girl, and she is basically my first proper love.

    What should I do?
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    cut all ties i say,
    you are still infatuated with her, and she seems to have moved on,
    so it will just be you keening after her, and i dont doubt you will reject plenty of girls t spend time with her, s i say the best thing would t lose her, it may make you sad for a while, but better than that than spending so much time asking youreself questions like this one and wrrying that she is with someone else
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    Let it go, man. We've all had to do it and we all hated it (well, most of us) but it's usually one of those things that just has to happen. I still have a soft spot for my first love, but the fact that you have that permanent soft spot is pretty much the whole reason you've gotta leave it.
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    Sigh - this is so ****ing painful guys.

    She sent me a text saying I was one of the coolest guys ever.

    But the fact remains, she doesnt want to be with me.
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    Well, you broke up for a reason, right? Not sure how wise it would be to try and get back together; and either way, she doesn't appear to be as interested as you are. You're probably gonna have to accept that. If she doesn't want to be with you, don't waste your time. Let it go, man.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sigh - this is so ****ing painful guys.

    She sent me a text saying I was one of the coolest guys ever.

    But the fact remains, she doesnt want to be with me.
    she has you on her hook,
    just close all contact quickly,
    its clear if you asked her if its a good idea she wuld try say its not, and keep you for herself
    *everyone likes to have someone in they're pocket
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    (Original post by jones107)
    she has you on her hook,
    just close all contact quickly,
    its clear if you asked her if its a good idea she wuld try say its not, and keep you for herself
    *everyone likes to have someone in they're pocket
    Ok well we are supposed to meet up tommorrow.

    I am not going to text her.

    This is part of the reason why she has me on her hook. I kept initiating ****.

    I loved the girl guys, and it is **** it's not being reciprocated.
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    i was in the same position
    its really not nice
    in the end i eneded just randomly blocking every form of contact we had and now its mre or less fine
    hard to do at the time though!
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    (Original post by jones107)
    i was in the same position
    its really not nice
    in the end i eneded just randomly blocking every form of contact we had and now its mre or less fine
    hard to do at the time though!
    Before I kill contact, should I tell her that I loved her, and she was my first true love?
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    if you want
    though, what affect would it have? she clearly doesnt share that love, and seeing as you are killing contact she wont be able to give yu and answer
    but its up to you, if you feel she should know it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Before I kill contact, should I tell her that I loved her, and she was my first true love?
    What would be the point? If that would help you get over her, then do it.
    Don't do it as a means to win her over because it probably won't happen.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok well we are supposed to meet up tommorrow.

    I am not going to text her.

    This is part of the reason why she has me on her hook. I kept initiating ****.

    I loved the girl guys, and it is **** it's not being reciprocated.
    Delete her number. It will hurt really badly at first but it's the only way. You need to do it. Is she on your Facebook? delete. Cut all ties.

    Amirite fellas?

    Good luck OP.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Long story short, ex and I broke up about a year and a half ago. We recently got back in contact, she has flown over to my city. Anyway, the other night I tried to go in for the kiss, prior to that, we were hand holding, I was kissing her hands, cheeks, had my hands around her waist. To the point, people were like "I hope you have a great night with your GF"

    Anyway, she is refusing to kiss me. And now I am in a pickle. on one hand I like the girl a lot, but I don't want to hang around and hear her stories about banging other guys. Which she hasn't done yet. On the other hand, I like her personality a lot - that's why we dated right?

    I have already told her with regards to kissing her, I am her ex, so it is natural that I am going to be affectionate towards her. Sometimes I get the feeling she has forgotten that I have actually had sex with her.

    But yeah, she wants to meet up tommorrow. If I go for the kiss again, I will no doubt be rejected. And knowing me, I probably will. At the same time, I am finding it SO HARD not to see her. In my head, I know, logically seeing her is a bad idea, because nothing good will come out of it. At the same time, I will find it sad to lose her completely. Have a soft spot for the girl, and she is basically my first proper love.

    What should I do?

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sigh - this is so ****ing painful guys.

    She sent me a text saying I was one of the coolest guys ever.

    But the fact remains, she doesnt want to be with me.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok well we are supposed to meet up tommorrow.

    I am not going to text her.

    This is part of the reason why she has me on her hook. I kept initiating ****.

    I loved the girl guys, and it is **** it's not being reciprocated.
    Not gonna lie, this is exactly like reading my own current love life. I've just been lucky that she's stopped texting me because of exams. Like people have said, cutting off contact really does help. It's helping me a lot now.

    Just out of curiosity a) Did she break up with you and b) Why has she flown to your city?
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    It does suck, been in a similar situation myself recently.

    Honestly the best thing to do is cut her out of your life, don't tell her you loved her but maybe explain you can't handle being friends with her.

    Seriously there is nothing worse than seeing a ex you still hold a torch for having a great time without you, flirting around guys and getting into a relationship, it will just play on your mind and make you go nuts.

    Best thing to do, cut her out and go out with your mates and try to have a good time, just go out and TRY NEW THINGS, ever skydived or bungee jumped? Is a band you like doing a local gig? Find something that excites or interests you, it won't make the pain go, but it will distract you.
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    (Original post by claret_n_blue)
    Not gonna lie, this is exactly like reading my own current love life. I've just been lucky that she's stopped texting me because of exams. Like people have said, cutting off contact really does help. It's helping me a lot now.

    Just out of curiosity a) Did she break up with you and b) Why has she flown to your city?
    a) logistics, or she just stopped feeling the relationship. So dumped me.
    b) For a holiday.

    But now I am thinking about

    b)

    Why am I making all the effort - if she really wants to see me, she will text me.

    Made it too easy for her.

    I guess apart of me is thinking - she doesn't have long here, so I have to make a move quickly by taking control, if I have any chance in winning her over.

    But it's actually pushing her away, and turning me into her friend.
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    it is a very VERY small chance of ver getting her back, especially seeing as she "didnt feel the relatinship" basically a girls way of saying they got bored, had it done to me,
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    (Original post by cid)
    It does suck, been in a similar situation myself recently.

    Honestly the best thing to do is cut her out of your life, don't tell her you loved her but maybe explain you can't handle being friends with her.

    Seriously there is nothing worse than seeing a ex you still hold a torch for having a great time without you, flirting around guys and getting into a relationship, it will just play on your mind and make you go nuts.

    Best thing to do, cut her out and go out with your mates and try to have a good time, just go out and TRY NEW THINGS, ever skydived or bungee jumped? Is a band you like doing a local gig? Find something that excites or interests you, it won't make the pain go, but it will distract you.
    Tell me about it , I remember when we met up, she was like "you look great". My style has totally improved since we broke up.

    And so, we ended up having an amazing night. Up until when I tried to kiss her. I was naturally annoyed tbh, because I was hand holding and doing everything else.

    She later told me I am one of the coolest guys ever, which was a total slap in the face.

    It basically felt like applying for a job, being told you are amazing, only for them to not give you a job.
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    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by jones107)
    it is a very VERY small chance of ver getting her back, especially seeing as she "didnt feel the relatinship" basically a girls way of saying they got bored, had it done to me,
    So what do I do?

    I know for a fact, that once she goes back home, any chance I have will be ZERO.

    I am basically my strongest, face to face. Like I remember the night we went out, I kept kissing her hand, she then goes "stop doing that, you are making me feel shy". To which I replied "Why - is it because I am both charming and charismatic", she replied "yes"

    ...I continued kissing her hands. Found it funny.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So what do I do?

    I know for a fact, that once she goes back home, any chance I have will be ZERO.

    I am basically my strongest, face to face. Like I remember the night we went out, I kept kissing her hand, she then goes "stop doing that, you are making me feel shy". To which I replied "Why - is it because I am both charming and charismatic", she replied "yes"

    ...I continued kissing her hands. Found it funny.

    just break cntact with her, therwise she will keep leading you on and on and on
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    If it helps you, tell her how you feel yet I doubt it will change anything.

    You just got to let her go!!
 
 
 
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