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Ex is trying to turn me into her friend Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Tell me about it , I remember when we met up, she was like "you look great". My style has totally improved since we broke up.

    And so, we ended up having an amazing night. Up until when I tried to kiss her. I was naturally annoyed tbh, because I was hand holding and doing everything else.

    She later told me I am one of the coolest guys ever, which was a total slap in the face.

    It basically felt like applying for a job, being told you are amazing, only for them to not give you a job.
    My ex would always come up to me down the gym or in a nightclub ...like she was seeking me out and start a conversation, not even casual bump into you but come strolling over for a chat. Then she started texting me when she was out down bars asking where i was and if i was out and told her, hey presto 15 minutes later she would be in the same bar.

    In the end i just sent her a message on facebook explaining i needed space, deleted her, deleted her number from my phone and all the messages and call logs and went hiking for the weekend in Snowdonia with mates.

    Still bump into her from time to time, just smile and be polite and pretend she never meant anything to me. :/
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    Clean break.
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    She has you on her hook, son!


    You made a good try, now bail.
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    (Original post by Studentus-anonymous)
    She has you on her hook, son!


    You made a good try, now bail.
    Sigh - I can't fail like this.
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    (Original post by KimKallstrom)
    Delete her number. It will hurt really badly at first but it's the only way. You need to do it. Is she on your Facebook? delete. Cut all ties.

    Amirite fellas?

    Good luck OP.
    Urite, bro.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sigh - I can't fail like this.
    You haven't failed at all. A relationship is between two people dude.
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    That cow! How dare she try to be a friend!

    On a serious note OP you need to learn some self control. You can't just start kissing people you fancy like that just because you might have before. Also, if you think you'll get jealous when she properly does move on then I think you should just save yourself the pain by not seeing her anymore.
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    #1

    I stood in front of the mirror, pretending that I was talking to her, telling her that she was my first true love.

    Burst into tears.

    I have pretty much accepted I wont get back with her. But the soft spot will remain for that reason alone.

    I think I need to tell her this for my own peace of mind; I will make it very clear to her, I am not telling her as a tactic to get back with her, and I will also make it very clear that the reason why I did not tell her before, was because I was afriad she would use it against me by believing there is no life beyond her.

    Which is not true- went on a date shortly after the break up. Groped some random girls breasts etc etc Will tell her that too.
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    I feel for you man but as the others said it is best to let her go and cut all ties, that way you can eventually focus on meeting new people.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I stood in front of the mirror, pretending that I was talking to her, telling her that she was my first true love.

    Burst into tears.

    I have pretty much accepted I wont get back with her. But the soft spot will remain for that reason alone.

    I think I need to tell her this for my own peace of mind; I will make it very clear to her, I am not telling her as a tactic to get back with her, and I will also make it very clear that the reason why I did not tell her before, was because I was afriad she would use it against me by believing there is no life beyond her.

    Which is not true- went on a date shortly after the break up. Groped some random girls breasts etc etc Will tell her that too.
    Don't do that. You a) ruin any potential chance of her actually reciprocating and b) look immature. If she wanted to get back with you, would you?
    Anyway, I think your plan is good, just tell her how you feel and then let go, if she wants anything let her come to you.
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    (Original post by cid)
    My ex would always come up to me down the gym or in a nightclub ...like she was seeking me out and start a conversation, not even casual bump into you but come strolling over for a chat. Then she started texting me when she was out down bars asking where i was and if i was out and told her, hey presto 15 minutes later she would be in the same bar.

    In the end i just sent her a message on facebook explaining i needed space, deleted her, deleted her number from my phone and all the messages and call logs and went hiking for the weekend in Snowdonia with mates.

    Still bump into her from time to time, just smile and be polite and pretend she never meant anything to me. :/
    Why did you guys break up? Odd that she would follow you around.
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    The pain you must be experiencing is excruciating. A clean break is the ONLY way. I know from experience that situations like these can really kill, and also really drag on for a huuuge part of your life.

    If you make a clean break now, it will be easier than doing it a couple of months down the line when inevitably, things will have happened and been said that make it a lot harder.
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    Its hard man OP, but these things have to be done. Causes chances are, if she broke up with you (like in your case) she isnt going to want to get back together.
    After she leaves your city it'd be easier to cut all ties like people on this thread have said. I mean, you probably will always have a soft spot for her if she was your first true but it doesn't mean you can't move on.
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    (Original post by MattyJo)
    Why did you guys break up? Odd that she would follow you around.
    oh God knows, i saw her one morning we made plans to go out that evening, she calls me a couple of hours early and ends it, saying it was getting too serious and she doesn't want a relationship right now.

    hurt but i accepted it, but then next day she carries on as if nothing had ever happened, maybe it is selfish of me, but i can't do that, i needed some space, and had to cut her out.
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    Wish my ex felt like this
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    (Original post by Ice Constricter)
    Its hard man OP, but these things have to be done. Causes chances are, if she broke up with you (like in your case) she isnt going to want to get back together.
    After she leaves your city it'd be easier to cut all ties like people on this thread have said. I mean, you probably will always have a soft spot for her if she was your first true but it doesn't mean you can't move on.
    That's the thing. I don't want to tell her she was my first love over Skype. Has to be done face-face.
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    (Original post by cid)
    oh God knows, i saw her one morning we made plans to go out that evening, she calls me a couple of hours early and ends it, saying it was getting too serious and she doesn't want a relationship right now.

    hurt but i accepted it, but then next day she carries on as if nothing had ever happened, maybe it is selfish of me, but i can't do that, i needed some space, and had to cut her out.
    You sound exactly like me... funny that.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sigh - I can't fail like this.
    Oh noes, you can't be with a skank who's been using you and mugging you off?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I stood in front of the mirror, pretending that I was talking to her, telling her that she was my first true love.

    Burst into tears.

    I have pretty much accepted I wont get back with her. But the soft spot will remain for that reason alone.

    I think I need to tell her this for my own peace of mind; I will make it very clear to her, I am not telling her as a tactic to get back with her, and I will also make it very clear that the reason why I did not tell her before, was because I was afriad she would use it against me by believing there is no life beyond her.

    Which is not true- went on a date shortly after the break up. Groped some random girls breasts etc etc Will tell her that too.
    Wow. No wonder she doesn't want to get with you.

    Just break it off now man. Delete her number and get on with life. Don't talk to her ever again. You've nothing to gain and she will just continue to mug you off.
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    Alright.

    Met up today - had a good evening with her. A lot of bull**** fluff talk.

    She liked my style, she thought I was cool as hell. But towards the end, it was becoming quite clear, it wasn't going anywhere. I tried to kiss her again, but it wasn't happening.

    So we just spoke about things in general and our past relationship. I needed closure.

    Turns out she really liked me a lot, but she just doesn't love me. And that's why she ended it.

    Said I was great in bed; there was nothing wrong there and enjoyed having sex with me.

    I helped her see the city from another angle.

    I told her, that I needed time and space to get over her before considering friendship. Even then, i will flirt, hold hands, and maybe try to kiss her - so it wont be a normal friendship.

    Also told her, out of respect I am not going to tell her about girls in my life, and I dont expect her to tell me about guys in her life.

    That I will always adore, love her to bits even though I have accepted that there is no future.

    Anyway - whatever. Got closure, I feel **** as hell, but at the same time at peace.
 
 
 
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