Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

*No Fap 2013!* Watch

Announcements
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by blacklistmember)
    Alright I'm in! 2013 here we go

    EDIT: Nevermind
    You came just 2 minutes after your post? Thought so. :rolleyes:
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I give you gentlemen.... the no-fap 2013 calendar!
    Attached Images
     
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 0906079)
    But don't you think that after a certain stage these problems become irrelevant, and start consuming your life?

    For example, and I realise this is clichéd, let's assume that a there is a man in Nigeria who is incredibly poor. He lives day to day and his biggest problem is trying to get money for food so he can survive. Let's say that after 5/6 more years like this, he plays the national lottery and wins about £20,000.

    He moves to the UK with that money and gets a job. For a while he is pretty happy but slowly doubts start to appear in his mind regarding various issues. He thinks he is too fat, can never get a girlfriend and thinks this way for 2/3 years. Getting sick of being lonely, he starts going to a gym and after another 2 years he is now happy with how his body looks but he still doesn't attract girls so he thinks the problem must be with his face and gets a nose job, which turns out very well. He is now confident enough to ask a girl out and eventually finds someone who likes him.

    Content for a while, again he starts doubting himself. He thinks that he is not tall enough. He thinks that he isn't intelligent enough. He marries the girl and starts thinking he isn't a good husband or a father. He's conscious of the fact that his neighbours are richer than him. As he gets older, he starts getting insecure about his wrinkly skin, and starts to gain the weight back. As he gets even older, he thinks that his children abandoned him as they get busy with their own lives.

    On his deathbed, our friend realises that he has lived a life full of misery. What if he had just been grateful after he had gotten food to eat. What if he was happy being in a first world country and having his future secured. What if he realised that girls aren't superficial and asked a girl out regardless of how he looked. What if he realised there's nothing he can do about his height and accepted it. What if he didn't doubt his intelligence. What if he realised that everyone gets older. What if he understood that his children did not abandon him, they are out there forming their own lives.

    Now, what if he had tried to change every single one of these things. Would that not be just as bad?

    How do you become happy? Do you accept your life as it is, or try to make it better and still suffer in the end?
    You've always got to try and better yourself in one way or another but it should be for your own satisfaction not to please anybody else like the opposite sex or show off to friends and family. Which is a problem many people have. For example they go to the gym not to change their life because they want to live a healthier life but because they feel pressure from society to do so. Society says they have to look a certain way and dress a certain in order attract the opposite sex which of course isn't true but it is what is being fed to us and people follow it.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Charcharx)
    My PM inbox begs to differ
    I bet you love the attention. :rolleyes:
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ForgetMe)
    No problem, I have a sexy video with sexy guys dancing But not going to show and disturb your challenge
    I'm stronger than that
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    yeah...........ill pass thanks

    better to fap than not fap
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    I do love how I [FAILED!] despite only ever saying I might do it for a couple of weeks and then decided against it. :rolleyes:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Sign me up! (this isn't going to last but oh well).

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SirMasterKey)
    I do love how I [FAILED!] despite only ever saying I might do it for a couple of weeks and then decided against it. :rolleyes:
    You didn't even do that though...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I might give this a shot :cool:
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    Count me in! I like a challenge!
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by KJKA)
    You didn't even do that though...
    Oh really?

    My first post after which I was added to the list.

    (Original post by SirMasterKey)
    Yeah, not too sure I could do. I might try for like a week or two. Then go from there. However I can't imagine I will last even a week.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    This certainly a different challenge from the no alcohol in January or giving up sweets for Lent!
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 0906079)
    But don't you think that after a certain stage these problems become irrelevant, and start consuming your life?

    For example, and I realise this is clichéd, let's assume that a there is a man in Nigeria who is incredibly poor. He lives day to day and his biggest problem is trying to get money for food so he can survive. Let's say that after 5/6 more years like this, he plays the national lottery and wins about £20,000.

    He moves to the UK with that money and gets a job. For a while he is pretty happy but slowly doubts start to appear in his mind regarding various issues. He thinks he is too fat, can never get a girlfriend and thinks this way for 2/3 years. Getting sick of being lonely, he starts going to a gym and after another 2 years he is now happy with how his body looks but he still doesn't attract girls so he thinks the problem must be with his face and gets a nose job, which turns out very well. He is now confident enough to ask a girl out and eventually finds someone who likes him.

    Content for a while, again he starts doubting himself. He thinks that he is not tall enough. He thinks that he isn't intelligent enough. He marries the girl and starts thinking he isn't a good husband or a father. He's conscious of the fact that his neighbours are richer than him. As he gets older, he starts getting insecure about his wrinkly skin, and starts to gain the weight back. As he gets even older, he thinks that his children abandoned him as they get busy with their own lives.

    On his deathbed, our friend realises that he has lived a life full of misery. What if he had just been grateful after he had gotten food to eat. What if he was happy being in a first world country and having his future secured. What if he realised that girls aren't superficial and asked a girl out regardless of how he looked. What if he realised there's nothing he can do about his height and accepted it. What if he didn't doubt his intelligence. What if he realised that everyone gets older. What if he understood that his children did not abandon him, they are out there forming their own lives.

    Now, what if he had tried to change every single one of these things. Would that not be just as bad?

    How do you become happy? Do you accept your life as it is, or try to make it better and still suffer in the end?
    You raise a number of interesting ideas but I think you're also falsely conflating several ideas.

    Being true to yourself or 'self-acceptance' (for example, in the way that the man failed to with his constant self-inadequacy) isn't mutually exclusive with endeavouring to reach new goals. If you are claiming that self-improvement is wholly pointless then I believe you are mistaken - on the contrary, it is almost the very purpose of our existance to retaliate and strengthen our forces when life hurls at us misery. That is the way we deepen our character. Self-acceptance and self-improvement aren't contradictory - no, in fact, they can co-exist comfortably if you go about each of them in the right way...

    For self acceptance is a complex process and does not mean simply accepting your situation and yourself as already perfect, and denying the need for change because it will end you in suffering anyway. No, rather it involves accepting yourself as imperfect, not on such superficial levels, as where he stood in societies eyes and his status, as you rightly say, but rather accepting yourself as already imperfect, with regard to himself and his own happiness. Self improvement that follows should in turn, be related to redeeming your own imperfection with respect to yourself rather than society. For example, as another poster stated, going to the gym to become healthier, feel more fit, relieve stress and feelings of low self esteem through release of endorphins, creating routine in your life etc, and indeed in turn, improve his own confidence through looking better (how you look is inevitably linked to your confidence, but of course confidence is more than that).

    You might say 'the man saw himself as imperfect, and that was the problem' but there is a difference between viewing yourself as imperfect and accepting that fact. Accepting involves being at ease with the fact that it is ok to feel inadequate and that as imperfect beings, it is only natural to need to improve. This is why true self acceptance of both our positive and imperfect elements, actually implies self improvement and does not make it null and void.

    Life throws new goals at us all the time and it is depressing to think it, but even when we think we have achieved self-knowledge in some respects, life throws new hindrances at us to bring us back down in our esteem and bring us back into dark places. But that doesn't mean the lessons of self-knowledge are wasted and it certainly doesn't make life a misery... In fact, it's probably a good thing that we suffer and are faced with new challenges. If everything went well all the time we'd likely be a. pig-headed and b. have very little strength of character. Of course there are those who go through life acquiring/having these qualities anyways, but those are just the weak ones who deal with things in the wrong way. As Camus said, life is like continually pushing a boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll down again. Man has to push it back up each time, to watch it roll down again - entirely true. But what he also said that that doesn't make a case for suicide. I didn't understand this for ages, what was the point of continually improving myself if I knew, that reason told me I would soon crash into another all-time low, and a damming all-time low at that. Then it hit me, the idea was to make the highs so ****ing high that I didn't need to worry about the lows. Continual moulding of oneself to make things better for ourself doesn't make life a misery, it rather makes it zesty, brings us a sense of fulfilment, puts a pulse in our blood, and makes it all worthwhile.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Asa Akira made this an impossible feat.

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Damn my love for hot Asian girls
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    This reminds me of a movie I watched a couple weeks ago. He couldn't fap OR have sex though:eek:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HMEV...e_gdata_player
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    one day down, 359 to go
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Charcharx)
    Sorry to late, I just finished having a great time with myself thanks

    (not from London)
    It's hardly helping the guys, you talking about doing that. Surely with this many guys now signed up to overcoming masturbation for a year you can do the same? Us girls are lagging way behind!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by proud nd luvin it)
    This post made me LOL :teehee:

    Hey I reckon there needs to be more girls in this thread, so I'll join if you join? (it'll have to be starting from tomorrow otherwise I will have failed before I began, but mehh) :mmm:
    Fantastic news! There's a girls no-jerking pledge thread http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=2218477
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Elipsis)
    Yeah i'm not going to just respond to a 15 minute video and have that count as you making a point. Only someone dumb enough to be amused by Miranda would think that.
    You really are a moron, aren't you? You asked for evidence of the good effects of not masturbating and then refuse to actually recognise it because of my taste in comedy. And I'll have you know I'm predicted 5 As in my AS levels. :pierre:
 
 
 
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Will you be richer or poorer than your parents?
    Useful resources
    AtCTs

    Ask the Community Team

    Got a question about the site content or our moderation? Ask here.

    Welcome Lounge

    Welcome Lounge

    We're a friendly bunch. Post here if you're new to TSR.

    Groups associated with this forum:

    View associated groups
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.